06/14/12 thru 12/17/09

Which do you want more?

at 06/14/12 12:28PM

I found this blog entry through another blog, through another blog, which led me to this particular blog entry.

I found it extremely helpful and humbling.

I hope you will too!

　

　

what I was meant to do

at 06/11/12 2:32PM

I have a special needs student in my bible class of three-year-olds. "They" tell me he's autistic, but I'm not sure. I suppose I don't know enough about autism to have too much of an opinion, as I've only really ever worked with one other autistic child who was a bit older.

Anyway, when I first got in there to observe before teaching, he would yell a lot, get up and run around the classroom, and spin in circles.

When it was my turn to teach, I decided I was going to be a little more firm with him, and it worked remarkably well.

I had just heard a little more of his background story at a Bible study Saturday night. Apparently his father is a violent and unpredictable man who abandoned the wife, two pre-school aged children, and an infant.

---

This poor little boy had a rough day yesterday. He seemed back to his usual antics. I could tell he was trying desperately to get the attention of everybody and anybody. I tried to do some active bible songs with everybody and to really channel his energy into those songs as an appropriate way to express his hyper-activity.

It was strange, because he seemed to calm down when giving the opportunity to jump up and down. He was insistent on doing the opposite of what everyone else was doing.

He got really wild at one point, and threw himself on the ground screaming. I looked down at him, and noticed that he had actually started to shed tears and wimper. I proceeded to scoop him up and hold him.

He buried his little head into my chest and just kind of snuggled up to me. I walked up and down the length of the classroom with him while my team teachers took the reins.

Feeling his tears on my shoulder, I couldn't help but shed a few myself. I thought about what I had heard about his family life on Saturday. I thought about how someday it wouldn't be as easy or as acceptable for him to cry and to be comforted so quickly. I felt a longing inside me, and I heard a voice inside me say, "This is what you were meant to do..."

After class, I learned that his mom and two siblings were packing up and moving to Canada.

It is extremely stressful for me when I have to move.

I can't imagine how stressful it must be for this little guy, without a father figure, having his whole physical world packed up yet again, and not knowing what the future would bring.

I am really going to miss him.

　

　

　

Bless his heart! I'm sure his mom doesn't have so much time to "scoop him up" enough (with 2 others to care for!). Maybe life in Canada will be less stressful. Will certainly pray for the whole family. by praguer at 06/12/12 1:26PM Poor little guy. I'm sure he was so grateful that you were sensitive to his needs in those tough moments. He can't express it, but he feels it, I'm sure. You're a jewel, Leah! by heatheronthehill at 06/12/12 9:26PM Leah, this nearly broke my heart. I'm so glad you took the time to snuggle and comfort him. by themother at 06/12/12 9:47PM Thanks so much for your tender heart!

by gsh2 at 06/15/12 12:46PM

women's studies

at 06/07/12 9:01AM

I've really been studying and fascinated/impressed/disgusted by women in the bible, in history, and in modern culture. I'm fascinated by intuition, submission, and the whole Christ and His Bride metaphor.

My new roomie, Amanda Adams, introduced me to a book that I am loving right now, that touches on "arrogant femininity."

I love this quote: "Arrogant femininity is a form of self-protection. We don't know how to deal with the disappointment of modern manhood, and so we choose to cover our emotions with scorn."

It's so sad.

I want to embrace God-ordained femininity, and I want to truly understand what that means.

　

　

Hm....interesting. I'd love to hear the title of that book. by curlie at 06/07/12 11:08AM You're rooming with Amanda! Cool! I've had a lot of related thoughts/questions about the female role in 1 Tim 2 lately... and some fairly obvious things about the passage that we might be ignoring because of our culture. Interested to hear more of your thoughts on that. by rundrummerrun at 06/07/12 1:12PM What's the book? I'm interested too! :)

So many lives have become casualties of feminism. Satan just won't ever let up, will he? (Left you a reply on CM too.) by heatheronthehill at 06/09/12 5:26AM

hey, June.

at 06/04/12 2:34PM

I can't believe it's June 4th.

Dear Time,

Please slow down, especially now that you've melted into my favorite season.

　

Thanks.

Love always,

Leah

---

Here's what I'm thinking about:

1. How Hayley and myself took an extremely spontaneous trip to Savannah that involved a 4am arrival time, my useless left ear, a sudden and violent case of spontaneous narcolepsy, lots of historical stuff, meeting new brethren, homemade breakfasts, New Orleans cuisene, haunted things, and a whole lot of laughing and awkwardness.

　

2. What happened when I tried to make a vat of Chicken Tortilla Soup last night:

There I was, with my crockpot full of lunches for the week, hoping for my best chicken tortilla soup recipe yet. I'd been completely obsessed all year with finding the perfect recipe. It is so difficult to find the right balance of flavors, but when you find it? Oh baby! I'm just saying...

Anyway, there I was, crockpot simmering, and me putting things away and cleaning up with not much time left until an after-Sunday-night singing that I really wanted to attend.

I was wiping down the counter and sweating just a little bit as I tried to move quickly.

The counter was covered in jalepeno juice, spilled pepper, chili powder, and other spicy powders and juices.

What did I do but make the mistake of WIPING THE SWEAT FROM MY BROW

which happened to be a LEETLE too close to my eyes.

　

　

FIRE.

FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE.

BURRRRRRRRRN!!!!!

PANIC!!!!

WATERRRRR!!!!

I started splashing cold water, messily and frantically

into my eyes,

over and over and over again and NOTHING WOULD HELP.

My clothes were drenched in no time.

My hair was in soaked strips of tangle.

I ran to the mirror to assess the damage.

I seriously looked like Red Skull from Captain America, definitely AFTER he decided he needed to remove his face.

And my eyes.

I will never forget the way my eyes looked.

Not a single speak of white.

All RED.

With my usual blue gray turned to this this weird glowy green color against the backdrop of scary bloodshot.

I realized later that if I hadn't been in so much pain, it would have made for a hilarious portrait.

In those first few moments, however, I thought I was going to die.

I thought I was going to have to go to the Emergency Room.

I thought "I have no idea what to tell them because I have no idea what potent mixture of spices has seemed to have implanted their contents into BOTH OF MY EYEBALLS!"

I was screaming and crying and jumping up and down in pain and splashing water in my eyes for a good half hour.

and then I felt exhausted.

so I stopped.

and returned to normal much quickly than I would have ever thought possible given the extremity of intense pain.

Fun fact: Your eyes are the fastest healing part of your body.

(There has to be a sermon in there somewhere...)

Needless to say, I don't think I'll be making Chicken Tortilla Soup again for a looooooong time.

----

　

I'm also thinking about...

　

3. How when I really dedicate myself to writing in a prayer journal, everything begins to fall apart: my body, the car (not yet this time, knock on wood), my loved ones physical health, my loved ones spiritual health, and the world in general, among other things.

For me personally, this only seems to happen when I write my prayers down.

Silent prayers don't seem to do this nor do typed prayers seem to do this.

It's like the "written prayer curse."

More bad things seem to happened when I keep up with this particular form of prayer than with any other.

Still, I really think it's the best form of prayer for me.

It keeps me consistent, and helps me in my other forms of prayer. (Maybe Satan attacks it so vehemently because of this.)

Also, I can look back and see how God has answered prayers, and usually in ways I would have never anticipated.

Usually, in much more complex, artistic, surprising, sometimes admittedly painful, and interesting ways.

Praying is hard.

I'm telling you.

But I'm commanded to do it.

and I'm useless without it.

So, here's to summer.

brokenness of ears

brokenness of eyes

and brokenness of spirit

all in the midst of tremendous blessings.

Dearest Summer,

I still love you.

I am fascinated by this

at 05/29/12 2:25PM

"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

1 Peter 3:1-4 King James Version

what I find fascinating:

-this is a commandment for wives/women

-that they are to adorn "the hidden MAN of the heart."

-that they are to be MEEK.

as I learn more about myself and other women, I discover that women are extremely powerful.

So powerful, in fact, that men FEAR our power.

Some men will admit this, but others will not...

Let's look at the Greek meanings of meekness:

1. Greek word praus

a. Used to describe a soothing medicine.

b. Used by sailors to describe a gentle breeze.

c. Used by farmers to describe a broken colt.

　

What do all these definitions have in common? They all describe great power under control.

　

Women are powerful. God knew and knows this. Medicine is powerful. Wind is powerful. Colts are powerful. (but what happens when they are broken? I want to research this more...)

"being tender and open is beautiful. as a woman, i feel continually shhh’ed. too sensitive. too mushy. too wishy washy. blah blah. don’t let someone steal your tenderness. don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.

nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things. whether it’s a song, a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all- look around you.

all of this is for you. take it and have gratitude. give it and feel love."

–Zooey Deschanel

　

　

I fear being with someone who will ask me to be less than I am, simply by being who he is. I want to be with someone who will let me be everything I am, and love and respect me for that, rather than feeling threatened by it. God gave woman to be a helpmeet after all...

Women - what are your thoughts?

how do you keep your power under control?

Thanks for your feedback...

Great article and thoughts! Women are more "powerful" when they follow God's order than when they try to be like men. by gsh2 at 05/31/12 8:47PM true story...! by leahhallnoats at 06/04/12 1:39PM

my kind of heat

at 05/22/12 8:34AM

The Welsh poet, Dylan Thomas, when asked what compelled him to read and write poetry, said

"because I had fallen in love with words." edit | delete

In the fall of 2009

at 05/17/12 10:54AM

I had a huge crush on my poetry professor, who was in his late thirties at the time I took his class.

The man was absolutely fascinating to me. Born in Puerto Rico. Flunked out of high school. Obtained a Ph.D in American Studies from Purdue. Obtained numerous awards for his writing.

I purchased a copy of his book of poetry.

I didn't like his poetry.

However, he still HAD a book of poetry, which was enough to make me swoon.

We used to talk non-stop about absolutely everything in class.

He loved me in that "you're-one-of-those-rare-whip-smart-gorgeous-young-women" kind of ways.

It didn't matter that I didn't see it in myself at the time.

He saw it.

and that helped me to eventually see it.

I remember when he found out I was a Christian, early on in the class.

He looked at me and said, "I don't know how to take you now."

I looked at him and I said, "I'm the same exact person I was five minutes ago."

I wrote the most heart-wrenching poetry that semester.

Through that poetry, I explored my heart in ways I never had before.

I questioned God.

I was angry at God.

I forgave God.

I forgave myself.

If any man has seen me vulnerable, it was that man.

If any man has taught me how to cut myself open and clean out and explore the uglier contents inside, it was that man.

I remember being in Cooper Hall late one night for one reason or the other, only to stumble upon him and one of my male classmates, both just sitting at his desk doing nothing but talking and listening to the Ramones.

I remember how he always looked tired.

I remember how he always looked for the best in people, and found it.

Always.

He was newly married for the first time, that semester I took his class.

He said if he had known how good it would be,

he wouldn't have waited that long

to take the plunge.

I looked up his wife today.

Born a year later then him, she teaches creative writing and Renaissance literature at Brigham Young University, of all places!

She is a fan of John Donn and John Milton.

She refused to marry Professor Hopler until he agreed to have a thorough background check.

Um, hi.

She is awesome.

I am now completely fascinated by this woman I've never met, who is married to this man who charmed me so, almost three years ago.

---

He said I could use him as a reference for when I started teaching High School English.

I need to get back in touch with him, to see if his contact information is still good.

I feel so curious and so nervous.

am I the only one with a story like this?

　

　

　

　

edit | delete No. I had a professor who was awesome in college like this--a younger guy, also married. It was nothing but a professional friendship kind of thing, but I can imagine if people saw us walking on the quad they may have thought otherwise. He was into religion--though unfortunately in the "look at it like it's a specimen" kind of way--and married to a woman who was from Java. Their meeting--in Java when he was there studying religion--fascinated me, as did the fact that they both hyphenated their last names. They had a baby the semester I was in his class. On a personal level, I don't think I hit it off with any other professors like I did with him. He used to ask me about Ethan's studies--I had told him Ethan's background and what he was up to. I think about him once in a while and didn't find out much the last time I looked. He was at a university, and that's about all I could find. I've thought about trying to track him down on facebook. For me it's been much longer--12 years or so--so maybe it would be weird to hear from me after all this time. :) by curlie at 05/17/12 12:16PM x Okay, I had to look him up because I was insanely curious. He's in Fresno, 3-4 hours from where I live now. TOO FUNNY. His wife teaches there too. Names are still hyphenated. I wonder if they had any other children.

No facebook page still. Who isn't on facebook?!!! haha by curlie at 05/17/12 12:19PM x I just need to say it--I love private comments! by leahhallnoats at 05/17/12 1:00PM x

I know humble pie is good for you

at 04/23/12 4:38PM

But I'm really sick of eating it! edit | delete You can overeat on humble pie too, you know. If you've done what you can to correct whatever the problem was, you may need to let it go until you can take some positive action. by themother at 04/23/12 6:52PM x "I know that it's gooooood to experience the bittersweet, to taste defeat, then brush my teeth..."

I got my daily fill of humble pie at the bank last year, and I was getting pretty sick of it. But looking at the cross helped me keep my mouth shut and my prayers going. Some Cross Sauce always helps the humble pie go down. :) Praying for you, sister! by rundrummerrun at 04/24/12 7:49AM x

Bullet points. Just shoot me.

at 04/06/12 10:30AM

there was a sale on large bottles of shampoo

at 01/30/12 8:36AM

feeling feisty on a Friday

at 01/13/12 1:19PM

your fun MONDAY afternoon detail of the day

at 12/19/11 1:25PM *

　

weekend road trips, idolatry, and leaving the US

at 11/18/11 10:42AM *

pumpkin soup

at 10/25/11 3:25PM

Twilight, Mormons, more men, etc...

at 10/14/11 9:32AM

my dad says he doesn't read the "advice for guys" portion of my blog

at 10/13/11 9:11AM

　

Part 5: the awkward post; all the creepiness she feels on a regular basis

at 10/12/11 9:31AM

Part I: how to engage a woman in conversation

at 10/04/11 8:41AM *

what was God thinking...

at 08/24/11 10:38AM

jury duty; the verdict

at 08/23/11 4:23PM

　

Happy "Happy" Month, everyone!

at 06/22/11 11:06AM

♥ by hannahrunswithendurance at 06/12/11 5:04PM x Just prayed for you, sister. Let me know how I can help! by rundrummerrun at 06/13/11 4:37PM x We deceive ourselves into thinking our Father really wasn't that wise when he told us to confess our faults one to another. Like you said, most of the time, for most of us. It's not THAT big of a deal. We can just pray about it and move on. Except we very often can't. There's a reason God put that step in there. And we have to be reminded. Thank you for reminding us. For a lot of us "mature" Christians, it's largely a matter of pride involved. After all, people might think we've done something bad!!!! So, we'd rather live with the guilt, (even though we've asked God to forgive us). We'd rather live feeling a little distance in our relationship with our Father instead of the closeness we once knew. And yet, we see, when someone does "go forward".....they are the strong ones.... God bless you Miss Hall!

Oh, son. Preach it.

at 06/08/11 8:26AM

The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith,

and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.

-George Mueller

edit | delete

Love

at 06/05/11 6:35AM

Sometimes it all comes out so passively aggressively.

---

I need to say this to you.

Yeah, you hurt me and I hurt you.

---

It's okay.

I understand.

And I pray that you will too.

　

　

　

a moody foodie

at 05/27/11 2:02PM *

I feel incredibly vulnerable after writing that last post, but then, writing is vulnerable, so here I am again, bearing my soul through the keyboard…

I don't even know where this stuff comes from...

Somewhere in the murky mess of Leah Land, I suppose!

　

---

prose from one of my favorite blogs:

My room had french doors leading to a balcony that stretched the length of the house, overlooking the Atlantic. I stepped outside and my breath caught in my throat. The whole world was a deep moonlit blue. The sky and sea went on forever, as far as my eyes could see. A full moon hung heavy in the sky and the ocean surged and swelled, waves crashing and crashing against the shore. The sound was enveloping, relentless. The air smelled like fish and my lips were salty from the ocean breeze. White wooden deck chairs gleamed in the moonlight like crooked ghosts.

----

On a lighter, more playful note:

We went to Bern’s last night for Darby's Bachlerette party and sampled what I presumed would be just another cup of decaf coffee. It wasn’t…

"The green coffee beans that we roast daily are among

the finest in the world. They are carefully inspected,

almost bean by bean, to remove any imperfect beans.

‘Each bean’ is then roasted separately, seven nights a

week at opening time, for maximum coffee freshness,

and brewed as needed with a minimum of water for

maximum flavor and body.

If you use cream, heavy whipping cream is served."

Um...yes.

Best cup of $3 coffee I've ever had IN MY LIFE.

---

Also sampled:

"A selection of fine cheeses from around the world"

We picked:

Monchego: SHEEP'S milk cheese traditionally sliced adds a nice salty, briny, nutty flavor

Trugole: COW'S milk cheese buttery, complex, flavorful, nutty

Caprino Stagionato: GOAT'S milk cheese, semi-hard with a saltier and tangy flavor

Get it?

Cheese from all three farm animals!

"perfectly matured and served with marinated olives,

Marcona almonds, honey and a warm baguette."

Oh, and we split this:

Dulce de Leche Liquid Center Cake - A rich dark chocolate cake filled with dulce de leche, and

served with vanilla bean ice cream and dark chocolate

sauce.

Um, hi. I think I just died. Like 9 times...

---

Every time I go there, (this was my third time), I feel spoiled rotten.

Maybe a better way to put it is ridiculously blessed. :)

We had such a great time. Lots of laughing...

(I suppose there's just something about being around a bunch of serious rich people...)

:)

　

edit | delete I have never been to Bern's for dessert. I once went for a meal and it was really strange because I was invited to join a friend. We couldn't tell if the guy was interested in the friend but he was much older. He treated us well, but never knew if the intentions were just friendly. Weird! Nut we didn't get dessert. Maybe we can when we bring Robert down. by theaunt at 05/27/11 3:24PM x Back then it seemed like a lot! Maybe 10 years maybe even less. He seemed so old....finished with college and working. We were freshmen. That is a lot of space in those years. I was glad I was not the object of ....."friendship?!" by theaunt at 05/27/11 5:15PM x That chocolate cake sounds absolutely wonderful! Glad you had a good time! by praguer at 05/30/11 10:16AM x

a little Matthew 7:5 for your time...

at 05/24/11 3:00PM *

We’ve been studying the book of Matthew at Valrico and it’s been so good for me so far.

As always, I have a lot to work on.

---

When I was younger, I used to pray for a godly spouse. I wanted someone like my dad, but different, because my dad and I share a lot of the same weaknesses. ;)

I always wanted a prayerful man.

I always wanted a man who knew the bible like the back of his hand.

I wanted a man who, when I had questions about where a verse was found, he would know immediately and could even give me summaries, historical information, and contextual clues to help me have a better hold on what I was studying.

I used to be incredibly picky and fickle about whom I was interested in.

In a way, I suppose I still am.

However, a lot has changed for me. As I grew older I wondered, why did I so desperately want these things in a potential husband?

Are these qualities helpful and important?

Absolutely.

But for me personally, there was a lot of pride in my desire for a "spiritually minded" husband.

I wanted someone who was well-respected in the spiritual community. I wanted someone who I could proudly stand next to and support with a sweet smile and an extended hand.

I wanted someone whom my entire extended Christian family would respect, admire, and adore. I wanted "the best" or whatever that meant for me…

It’s strange for me to say that these things are not as important to me as they used to be.

---

Yes, I still absolutely desire a man of prayer. This is non- negotiable.

But I’ve been hurt.

While I take responsibility for some of my pain, and most definitely the pain I personally inflicted on so many good guys, I can’t help but look at men differently now, post pain.

　

I realize that I’ve definitely projected some of the less-desirable qualities of the person who hurt me onto other guys who may have been less guilty of the offenses I perceived, real or imagined.

---

I’ve been a victim of the "weapon of tragic repetition" mentality, and I constantly have to work on dropping that mentality completely.

But, after being hurt by someone I perceived (accurately or inaccurately) to be a "Super Christian" my entire mentality has changed.

I’ve found myself emotionally connecting with really good guys who I would have never noticed before because of our shared experience of being hurt by otherwise "really good people."

And sometimes, I do notice someone of the "Super Christian" persuasion again.

It’s hard not to notice them. They are really…shiny. (As a result of their shining lights? You decide…)

However, what has changed for me is that I am far more forgiving if a guy I’m interested in isn’t familiar with a particular bible story or passage.

After the emotional struggles I experienced, I am more forgiving in general.

(Funny story: I still struggle with extending forgiveness sometimes!)

I’ve realized with more assurance than ever before that it is my responsibility to know MY bible like the back of my OWN hand.

Instead of dwelling on a good man’s bible knowledge or lack thereof, I look for ways in which he is LIVING his bible.

Because there are unfortunately some "Super Christians" who can quote you any passage and look AMAZING on paper, they can oftentimes fail to show humility, compassion, or tact.

(Read: I’m not guilty of this at all. Oh wait!)

Some "Super Christian" guys don’t make me feel good about myself.

While that’s definitely not the most important thing or even a purpose of a godly relationship, these "Super Christian" guys have helped me to see my own failings when choosing guys to date.

For a while after being hurt, my pickiness got ridiculous.

I wanted someone who knew his bible a lot like the guy who hurt me, but if anyone showed an ounce of Pharisaical pride or if he showed any of the negative qualities that the guy who hurt me possessed, he was just all kinds of DONE in my heart and mind.

As I nitpicked every guy I noticed or who noticed me, I realized that they were noticing my nitpicking, and that they did NOT like it.

Without my even saying anything, it was like they could feel my nitpicking.

No one was ever good enough for me, or in some instances, I was never good enough for them because I could suddenly feel THEIR nitpickiness, and it not only made me feel "not good enough" but it also did NOT make THEM look good.

Internal dialogue: "You mean, I’m not good enough for you? You think you’re holier than me? You don’t even know me! Who do you think you are?"

*Insert Matthew 7:5 right about here*

I realized this was not a healthy way to go about things…

But I still struggle internally a bit.

I mean, what constitutes a good man? Romans 3:10.

Who will ever be good enough for me?

Or, to put it more accurately, who will ever reach down and think that I’m good enough for him?

---

I like the way Jon Focht put it: "I always looked for someone whose strengths were my weaknesses and whose weaknesses were my strengths."

That seemed to make sense to me…

Also, I have to ask, if we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers, what does it mean to be "equally yoked WITH believers?"

---

Possible next post: Kissing dating goodbye, Casual dating ISN'T dirty, and how to be "just friends."

edit | delete my advice: look for someone with a pure heart

See Psalm 24:1-4, 1 Timothy 1:5, II Timothy 2:22, 1 Peter 1:22

Of course, with that whole "equally yoked" thing, that means we need to have a pure heart too, which we should have anyway, if we would see God. (Matthew 5:8 - my favorite beattitude) by heatheronthehill at 05/25/11 8:05AM x Your honesty is a beautiful thing! And, isn't it wonderful when can we SEE that someone truly loves God before we HEAR about it...walking the walk, not just talking the talk. :) by momw at 05/25/11 8:12AM x Realizing I may have sounded a bit preachy at you and I didn't mean it that way. I think you already have a pure heart - your honesty is refreshing and as Mrs. W said, it's a beautiful thing. I think if you can find a man with that same purity of heart that compliments your personality, you will find a worthy person to marry, and you will be happy in that marriage. A person with a pure heart may have flaws, but they will be humble about it, will be working on those flaws and will want to grow in grace and knowledge. The fruits of a pure heart are sweet. Blessing to you on your journey to find such a one! by heatheronthehill at 05/25/11 1:42PM x Someone somewhere said, "Do not look at his appearance, or the height of his stature, or at his passage-quoting knowledge. These are the things people look at. The Lord looks at the heart." by thepoeticmadman at 05/25/11 7:01PM x Heather, I didn't think you sounded preachy at all. Appreciated the comments (both of them) and verses very much! :) and both of your comments gave me pause...in a good way. :) by leahhallnoats at 05/27/11 8:35AM x Fantastic post. And yes, we do share many of the same weaknesses like disorganization and losing things! by gsh2 at 05/27/11 6:47PM x

Stephanie Aurora Clark Nielson, plans, and power outgages

at 05/23/11 9:36AM

So, I had this extremely vivid dream:

My amazing, wonderful sister decides to take me on a surprise trip to...UTAH to visit Stephanie Clark Nielson and her family.

First, I meet her four children. They all love me and will not stop hugging me, especially little Jane. (In my dream, Jane was about four years old. She's actually eight years old...)

Stephanie is throwing a party with fabulous organic vegetarian dishes and bright, colorful decorations.

I keep thinking that I needed to get my picture with her.

I finally get to meet her, and she has had so many laser treatments that she looks like she did before her plane accident, except for a single scar running across the bottom of her mouth. I tell her how beautiful and amazing she looks. We get our picture together.

I meet all of her women Mormon friends, and like most Mormons I've met, they are all extremely nice and proceed to try to convert me. It makes me feel really sad and I tell them; "I love you guys, but...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..."

Then, it occurs to me that I have to get a picture of her living room, to prove that I was there. (She has a fairly recognizable living room with this red tree rug.)

It starts to get late, and I look at my sister and say, "I feel kind of weird spending the night here since we kind of just invited ourselves over. But, I'm really glad you flew out here with me!"

Rebecca says, "Yeah. We probably shouldn't spend the night since we showed up here without giving any notice. She's got four kids after all, and they need their sleep..."

I say, "Okay. Thank you so much for this trip! This was so much fun!"

And then Rebecca and I proceed to catch a late night flight back to New Jersey...

---

So, what does this dream mean?

-I desperately want to meet Nienie?

-I love Stephanie Aurora Clark Nielson a little too much and pour over her blog too much?

-I really think Rebecca should be reading the nienie dialogues?

-I have a strange obsession with Utah, even though I've never been there?

-I secretly wish I were a Mormon?

-I really want to take a crazy trip with my sister?

-I really want to have four kids?

-Maybe just a little red-headed daughter named Jane?

Who knows.

All I know is that it was an extremely happy, joyful dream...

---

Things I'm excited about:

-Megan being here this week for Darby's wedding on Saturday!

-being in the play

-Going home at the end of June

---

Last night, someone hit a pole outside the church building. There were no lights and there was no air conditioning. Services lasted a total of 34 minutes...

edit | delete You're funny, cute & lovable. I wish you were coming home the beginning of June! ;) by momw at 05/23/11 5:37PM x ^^ Yes. To all of the above. :) by heatheronthehill at 05/23/11 9:04PM x I love the dream! I read her blog too :) I have dreamed a few times that I hung out at the Duggers house! haha by krazykrizn at 05/31/11 9:19PM x

funny

at 05/19/11 8:21AM

"In spite of the cost of living,

it remains popular."

- Sign at Sunrise Landscape off of I4 edit | delete

text message of the day and empathy

at 05/04/11 4:04PM

"I'm here and we are staying at the sickest hotel ever!"

I love my friends...

---

　

Also, our dear 71-year-old Senate Majority leader, Harry Reid, dislocated his shoulder after falling during a wet morning run.

He did not take pain meds.

I did not take pain meds the first time I dislocated my shoulder, and I thought I was going to die and that they were going to have to amputate my arm...

Dear Mr. Reid, I quite literally feel your pain... edit | delete Random: whose is the room and thereunto pertaining drum set on the right? by rundrummerrun at 05/09/11 6:20PM x It's actually in Mojo books and music. They had a really loud band playing for the grand opening of their new coffee shop.

A really loud band playing in a record store is completely acceptable/understandable.

But a really loud band playing in a BOOKSTORE of all places?

It was something rare and completely awesome. People trying to read with earsplitting guitar riffs and bass thumping...

They've moved all the books now, so it's just a record store now.

I wanted to capture the books/music thing before it was gone forever... by leahhallnoats at 05/10/11 8:37AM x ^^ha!^^ by theaunt at 05/11/11 10:49PM x

a little Monday joy

at 04/18/11 2:13PM

I'm sitting here at work, listening to Adele's radio cut of "Rolling in the Deep" on Pandora, drinking my FREE White Chocolate Mocha made with Soy milk (thank you survey receit!) feeling blissfully happy.

(All while periodically answering phone calls and emails, of course) Ahem.

　

This weekend was such a blessing:

Volleyball with friends,

Clearwater Beach @ night with one of my five roomies,

laying around in my PJs on Saturday,

listening to crazy LIVE music at Mojo's with one of your sweet, very SHELTERED roomies,

(What other bookstore would think to have a rock band play in the middle of their "quiet" bookstore where people are trying to read? I ask you...),

writing homemade greeting cards with sticky notes and long lost stickers,

sobbing in the parking lot of the only other apartment complex you've ever lived in, (and having your old apartment manager recognizing you as you glance in your rearview with your red, wet, puffy face)

running into an incredibly sweet friend after said sob session who makes you feel so much better,

talking on the phone with your best long-distance friend,

having a little girl named Jordan hug the life out of you at church because for some reason she loves you sooooooo much,

and other blessings. :)

God is SO good to me. How am I going to be good for God?

----

They were having a gospel meeting at 58th Street a couple of weeks ago in the book of Revelation. The more I study it, the more I love the book of Revelation. I will never make a presumptious statement declaring that "this" is exactly what it means.

I'm simply going to appreciate it for its attention to the reverance of God, its gift of words of comfort, and its brilliant imagery.

Favorite passages include:

Revelation 10:1-4

"Then I saw another mighty angel coming down from heaven, surrounded by a cloud, with a rainbow over his head. His face was like the sun, his legs were like fiery pillars, and he had a little scroll opened in his hand. He put his right foot on the sea, his left on the land, and he cried out with a loud voice like a roaring lion. When he cried out, the seven thunders spoke with their voices."

The imagery just makes me want to break down and weep for joy and grief and some other inexplicable emotion...

Also,

Revelation 3:8

" I know your works. Because you have limited strength, have kept My word, and have not denied My name, look, I have placed before you an open door that no one is able to close."

Things I love about THIS verse:

-we are KNOWN

-God KNOWS our level of strength (or lack thereof)

-God gives us an OPEN door that no one is able to close!

I love that this verse was written specifically to a church that had LIMITED STRENGTH.

I don't know about you, but sometimes my lack of strength is downright embarassing. My lack of strength also makes me feel GUILTY.

I feel like I should be so much stronger and doing so much more than I am.

While I think like we we should always feel that way to a certain extent, (Luke 17:10), I also take great comfort in the truth that "...we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tested in every way as we are, yet without sin."

Hebrews 4:15

---

We shouldn't be ASHAMED to share in our weaknesses, but rather WILLING to bear one another's burdens, WILLING to boast in our weaknesses, WILLING to suffer, to REJOICE for His name.

It sounds (and so often feels) exhausting.

But we can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens us.

Thank God.

I don't know what I would do without HIS great strength, helping me in my limited strength...

Because let me tell you, without Him,

my strenth is LIMITED.

Non-existant.

edit | delete AMEN, Amen and amen again! by momw at 04/18/11 9:26PM x Good post! by jlmanager at 04/18/11 10:33PM x

Not so intimidating...(update on atheist/deist/baptist? friend Ryan)

at 04/12/11 9:54AM

Last night was crazy.

I came home from work, did what I could with my hair and makeup in a matter of ten minutes, and booked it out the door to meet my friend Gabriela at Chili's to support our dear entrepreneur friend, Ryan.

Gabriela, Ryan, and I all met in Logic class at USF.

It was the worst of classes, it was the best of classes...

Anyway, it was really good to catch up with Gabriela. She's not a "Church of Christer," but she knows her bible, and I really appreciate her.

I still really struggle with talking to people about some doctrinal issues.

I'm still not sure what she believes about baptism.

She said "you guys," because I am a member of the "Church of Christ," tell everyone that they "have" to be baptized to be saved.

I said, "Well, yeah." and proceeded with the appropriate verses, and the examples we have of people being baptized pretty immediately after learning the gospel. It was a matter of urgency and obedience and not merely an outward sign of an inner commitment. Crazy thing is, she agreed with me.

She actually broke up with her last boyfriend specifically because he did not see baptism as a necessary part of being a Christian...?

She asked me about the thief on the cross, I just told her that Jesus is the one with power to forgive sins, so of course he could forgive the thief.

But I pointed out that all the examples in scriptures show people being buried in the waters of baptism after hearing the gospel.

I also said that I couldn't be so dogmatic as to say that someone was going to hell if they haven't been baptized, simply because only God knows the heart of that person and what opportunities he or she may or may not have had while living...

Maybe I shouldn't have said that, but it's true that I'm not God and it's not my place to condemn someone to hell. All I can do is teach them based on what I've studied from scripture.

She then said that it basically sounded like we were saying the same thing, but I don't know...

I did the best I could...?

She's also a music major, and she had noticed that a lot of the FC students, when they go to recitals at USF, stick together like rubber cement and seem terrified of everyone else.

I thought that was interesting...

It was also really interesting to hear her thoughts about Florida College since she herself has attended recitals at FC. She talked about a keen awareness of feeling like an outsider. I felt bad about that...

---

Anyway, we did get to talk to Ryan.

We hugged and he seemed genuinely happy to see us.

I told him that a lot about what he wrote about in his thesis is exactly what I had prayed about for him (seeing the poverty, being moved by that, reminding him that the last time we used to talk on a regular basis he considered himself an atheist, etc.)

He seemed surprised by my prayers...

Then, GET THIS: He's attending a First Baptist congregation pretty regularly now?

um, WHAT!?

I was quite frankly, shocked, to say the least. I didn't know what to say so I just blurted out "Oh well, that's...good..."

I mean, I guess it's a step up from Atheism and Deism?

Man, this kid confuses me!

He said he goes because "it's good for him."

Not sure what he meant by that, and didn't really have time to ask.

I also wanted to ask him what in the world made him end up going there.

I have a feeling a cute Baptist girl invited him or something...I'm still just kind of in shock...

---

I get the feeling like he wants to be considered "accepted" in God's sight, but I also get the feeling that he doesn't want to be fully committed to the point of making real changes in his life.

For example, with Gabriela, it's obvious that she is a woman of prayer and that she modifies her behavior based on what she's studied in scripture.

I don't get the same impression from Ryan at all. He's sweet and everything, but you can just tell that he doesn't take this whole "God" quite as seriously as Gabriela and I.

Also, surprising: he's working at a bank full-time!

What?!

It's an investment bank of some kind, not the typical teller-type bank, but basically, he needs to work there for a regular income to support himself and to fund a lot of the expenses for his organization.

I kind of felt relieved, because we're basically doing the exact same things.

The combination of having similar work, the way he was talking (throwing in a curse word here and there), and just seeing that we're basically in the same boat was a relief.

I mean his flawless GPA, accomplishments, and um...height ( do NOT remember him being that tall) are all intimidating factors, but I felt more secure in my spirituality and maturity last night, so thank you to everyone who prayed for me! Seriously!

He said he wanted to keep in touch, but I don't know how seriously to take that, because he's the kind of person to say things like that and not really mean it. (Influencer)

But I'm going to try to keep in touch with him and check up on him every now and then. I have a feeling he could, maybe, become a serious searcher, maybe later on in life... I hope.

We talk better one-on-one anyway. (He was with his "friend" who made me really uncomfortable based on a comment he made after I introduced myself...) I wonder how much being with his "friend" that affected his honesty about things/how he was presenting himself. He has a few "friends" on facebook that just from reading the way they talk, I can tell are NOT a good influence on Ryan.

----

Anyway, right after dinner, I booked it to the Ephesians study at Brandon's and that was just such a fresh breath of air.

I love people who have a deep love for God and His word!

---

It was a relief to not feel like I was walking on eggshells...

　

---

John 17:15-17

edit | delete After reading ^that, I have way too many thoughts jumping around my mind to even begin to separate them into some sort of manageable order! For now, I will suffice to say, I also LOVE people who have a deep love for God and His word. That's one of the reasons I love YOU! by momw at 04/12/11 2:02PM x I'm proud of the way you're so open with other people. Yes, it requires walking on eggshells sometimes and the fact that some fear having to do that, makes them come across as being standoffish as you've documented. You, however, have not fallen into that trap and I'm proud of you for that!

I think a key in showing the difference between New Testament Christians and evangelicals is what we point out to others that they need to do to be saved. You might have asked your friend, "If you think we agree, Do you tell people that they need to repent and be baptized before they can have the remission of sins?" Of course, most evangelicals can't say that they do and thus the difference. Yes, I think you are right that we can't discount God's longsuffering and mercy regarding those who misunderstand some aspects of God's commands including baptism. I think of 2 Chron. 30:18, 19. However, we need to be careful in stating that (walking on eggshells?) because it's God's prerogative to extend his mercy and not ours. Perhaps in the future you can have an opportunity to invite your friends to Valrico. But as for now, you're doing the right think by staying in touch and letting them see Christ's love reflected in your life. Lova ya! by gsh2 at 04/13/11 12:41PM x Thanks, Leah. I'm doing ok now. by sr15min at 04/13/11 7:00PM x

　

　

Maple Bacon Sundae

at 04/06/11 10:06AM

I have a coupon for a buy one get one free maple bacon sundae from Denny's.

Who wants to go with me?!

　

It sounds disgustingly awesome.

We'll go do something extremely active afterwards, of course...

　

-----

　

I love trends. I just can't help myself. Trends make me feel connected to the rest of the world. They are usually non-threatening, all over the place, and an easy ice-breaker.

Trends can ease us into talking to non-Christians about Christ!

Therefore, trends are noble.

　

Maple Bacon Sundae, here's to you... edit | delete ewww! by heatheronthehill at 04/06/11 11:14AM x I have to admit, this does not sound good to me. But recently I heard about a maple syrup/bacon cupcake that was apparently quite awesome. Guess I'm just an old fuddy-duddy (and I guess that terminology proves it!). by themother at 04/06/11 12:29PM x bacon with maple syrup is awesome but thats the canadian in me talking! i don't know about ice cream with it though by daddysgirl at 04/06/11 1:30PM x That bacon maple sundae would use up so many of my daily points, but it would be so worth it! by dixiechick at 04/06/11 5:37PM x hahah thanks for the tips and of course you can copy the idea! by daddysgirl at 04/06/11 10:52PM x I'll go!! by sr15min at 04/09/11 1:38PM x

sensory details and memory

at 03/31/11 2:10PM *

I love days like this; when water cascades down dark windows, wind blows wildly, thunder rolls like a boulder down a stone slope in ancient times and natural flashes of light.

It's like the world is a dance club with its own thumping music...

---

I have a total of three blogs. Three. Is that too many?

I have one where I write for a public, mixed audience. I don't have many readers on that, it's hard when you're trying to remain somewhat anonymous.

I also have one that I use for photo journalism. I both use my own snapshots and borrowed images for that one, a sort of pictures-are-worth-more-than-words type deal. I hope I don't get in trouble for not citing my photo sources. Can't I just cite Google images?

I also have this one, where I feel most comfortable because I've been using this one the longest and I have a Christian readership. It's nice. :)

---

Yesterday, I had to attend a mandatory training class at the Corporate Branch across the street. I wore my black pencil skirt and heels and felt like a twelve year old playing dress up.

I've been talking to this girl who I trained with about a year ago, and I just get a kick out of her. She's blonde, petite, outspoken, and fun.

You know how you just feel instantly connected to some people?

She was telling everyone at the meet and greet about how she broke her neck a few years ago in a car accident. (that's all she said to everyone in the meet and greet. It was her interesting fact about herself: "I broke my neck one time.")

She told me that she had to relearn how to walk, talk, and everything really.

She suffered from a severe bout of amnesia.

She doesn't remember much about her life before the accident.

I'm not sure why but for some reason, I found this completely fascinating.

I asked if it made her feel sad that she lost so many memories of a good part of her life.

She said sure, but it's hard to miss what you don't remember.

She remembers some things, just not nearly as much as most people.

She was in the accident at the ripe old age of 22.

---

Memory, and specifically, collective memory is another something that fascinates me.

The way people remember different details, sights, sounds, smells, physical sensations, emotions...

How some people forget things that others remember distinctly.

I wonder why God gave us memories.

Memories linked with emotion; extreme joy and pain are the ones that stick out the most.

We learn from our most joyful and painful experiences. Those experiences are what remain with us.

Those were the only kinds of memories that my friend could recall.

---

I've been a Christian today, for fifteen years. 15. FIFTEEN!

I've forgotten SO much about that cold Sunday night, March 31st, 1996.

I remember that I had been thinking about being baptized for several months.

I remember knocking on my parents door "late" one night and telling them that "I was thinking about being baptized" because I wanted to hear what they would say about it.

I remember that Mr. Anderson gave a talk on the work in Russia, and I remember being so completely moved by it.

I don't remember Mr. Anderson's first name.

I remember his wife was this cute dark-haired lady with a southern accent and that my mother loved her.

I think they were from Texas?

---

I loved Mr. Anderson. He was tall, stately, had a dark gray mustache, and a warm smile.

He was fatherly, and it was obvious that he had a deep love for the Lord.

---

I remember knowing that I needed to do it THAT night, after THAT talk.

I remember crying during the entire invitation song: "There's A Fountain Free."

I remember telling Solvai Sanchez, who was sitting near, why I was crying, and she just held me and let me cry.

(I asked her, years later after returning home from college, if she remembered this, and she honestly didn't...)

　

----

I remember wanting my dad to be the one to baptize me.

I then remember not wanting to wait, because I couldn't make my Heavenly Dad wait any longer on me...

---

Wayne Chamberlain, my best childhood friend's father, baptized me.

I wore a white, oversized baptism outfit.

The water was freezing.

It was scary.

I remember it growing dark as I went down into the water.

I remember it got brighter and brighter as I drew closer to the surface.

I remember that feeling...of being pure and new.

Born again.

Sinless.

A new creature before God.

Debbie Chamberlain took a picture of me by the baptistry after it was done, in my red jumper dress over my white t-shirt, hair dripping wet, head-tilted, smiling...

I felt so happy.

So excited.

So nervous about the changes I needed to make in my life.

I can't believe I was only eleven!

In a way, I had no idea what I was doing.

But I knew the most important things, and I've never felt a need to be baptized again...

Forgiven again?

Heaven help me, yes.

And I have been.

---

　

Apparently, when I was really little, a group from church went hiking in the woods and had a bible study.

Frank Rush was baptized in a waterhole at the top of the mountain.

He told me that they wrapped a towel around his shoulders, and that I held his hand the entire hike back down the mountain.

I have no memory of this...

---

What do YOU remember about YOUR baptism?

　

　

edit | delete August 24, 1997 around 8:00 p.m. at Washington COC Bob and I were baptized into Christ by Wayne Chamberlain(that was the first time I had met Wayne and was the first time I was at Washington).It's kinda funny that your blog was about this today because just last night two of my children were talking about baptism and asking me to recall all the facts surrounding mine. My son asked me what I knew about baptism and the bible when I was baptized. Truth is, I didn't know much! I had just learned what baptism was and that I needed to do it to have my sins forgiven. I had just started reading the bible for the first time several weeks earlier and read about the book of life in Revelation. I remember asking Barb Thomas what that book was and how to get my name in it! I remember being very sad moments before I entered the baptismal thinking about my family, my mom, dad and siblings; and how I was "leaving them behind"(that's how it felt to me anyway since they were all Catholic and would not understand my decision to leave what I had been brought up in). Bob went first. Then me. The six of us (Wayne & Debbie Chamberlain, Scott and Barb Thomas, & bob and I) sang Trust And Obey (first time Bob and I sang that song) and finished with a prayer. As we walked to our cars I remember turning to Barb and saying, "So, I guess we should come here now every Sunday?"

I didn't know much more than I wanted to go to Heaven and I needed to be baptized to get there. That was the beginning of my walk with God... by momw at 03/31/11 3:54PM x Oh! I almost forgot! Ray and Shirley Anderson are a great couple! I miss them! :) by momw at 03/31/11 3:57PM x July 1, 1977. Wow! I'm getting old! It was a Friday night. I was with my dad who was holding a meeting in Athens, AL. That night the invitation song was, "Oh Why Not Tonight?" I had talked with Dad about baptism earlier that summer when one of my friends was baptized. He said he thought she was very young. (I wonder if he knew it was on my mind and it was his way of gently discouraging me in case my reasons were to mimic my friend. I think I once asked and he doesn't remember.) We got in the car and drove back to my grandparent's house. I went to bed but couldn't sleep. I got up and talked to him for a long time. He asked me why I needed to be baptized, and he asked me to show him scripture. After a while I got a little emotional so he told me he would leave me to think about it a while. After I calmed down I went back to him and told him that I wanted to be baptized. He got up Mamaw and Papaw, and we went to the Corinth building where Papaw preached and I was baptized there with just Dad, Mamaw and Papaw. I was so excited when it was over, I couldn't sleep. I remember cracking the window curtains open and just staring up at the night sky until I finally drifted off to sleep.

No doubts for me either. :) by theaunt at 03/31/11 5:33PM x April 23, 2004. I had been talking to my dad about wanting to be baptized for probaby a year or two. He would ask me why and I would give an answer but then he would always say "Julie, I appreciate your desire to become a Christian but I don't think you're ready yet. You must be baptized for the right reasons." I asked and talked to him about it over and over again, and I don't know why it didn't click before. But when we got home from the last night of a meeting that was being held at another congregation, I got to thinking about it again. So I marched my 11 year old self into my parents room and sat there on their bed in my little nightgown and told dad that I wanted to be baptized because I was afraid that if I died I would be lost because of my sins. And he told me he would baptize me. =) I was baptized around 12:45 in the morning at the church building and I felt so FREE!! I had never felt like that before.

Another cool thing that happened was that one of my best friends, Julia Anne Bowen, was baptized the same day at 12:45 in the afternoon, and I got to be there. =) by gemma at 03/31/11 6:37PM x November 1992, and I, too, was eleven years old. Thursday night of our gospel meeting, I just couldn't wait any longer. I'd been thinking about it for months. Every day I played a sort of game with myself - could I go through the entire day without sinning? - saying something mean or thinking some bad thought. Every day I messed up. I thought I had to wait until I could live a perfect life before I could get baptized. Finally I realized that I didn't have to be able to live a perfect life, I just needed to give my life over to Jesus and have my sins forgiven.

I talked to my parents about it and decided to get baptized the following evening at the meeting. My Dad offered to baptize me in the bathtub, but I wanted to give it one more day to be certain. And I was certain. I sat right up front and went forward after the invitation song. The song was, "Blessed forever oh wonderful words, teach me the pathway of duty. Lead me beside the still waters of life, flowing through valleys of beauty. Blessed forever to you and to me. Words that our Savior hath spoken. ______________ far over the sea, healing the hearts that are broken." Can't remember that one little bit, nor do I remember the title. It's a song I've only heard a handful of times. Anyway, I went up there in my puffy-sleeved blue dress and our preacher baptized me. It was a very happy day. I didn't know until afterwards that my aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents were there. I am not certain if they came for the meeting or if my mom called them and told them why they should come.

I feel the same way you do - I was young, and in a way shouldn't have been able to understand. But I made that committment and have never regretted it in the least.

I was baptized a second time though. But it's not what you think. :)

We had just moved to Washington and someone was wanting Daniel to baptize him. Daniel realized that he had never baptized anyone before and was nervous about it. He asked me to let him practice on me. :) Jack was a tiny thing - only a couple of months old. We lay him on the floor of the side classroom with a couple of toys and he was so good and quiet, which is honestly, very unusual for him. And Daniel and I went down in the baptistery and he baptized me. Twice actually, to practice his technique. :) I was actually REALLY nervous about it because I didn't remember what it felt like going into the water when I was so young. Thankfully Washington heats their baptistery pretty well, so it was nice. :) by heatheronthehill at 03/31/11 9:50PM x July 19, 1964. A Sunday night and I had been thinking about it for some time, even talked to Dad about it, but this night, Dad preached about Jesus in the temple and I thought, "I'm 11, but I think it's time for me to be about my Father's business too!" The invitation song was "Softly and Tenderly" and I was already on the second pew, but I moved out to the end of the aisle and Dad saw me -- his face lit up. Mom was in the back with baby Rose (;0) but Mamma Zoe Sanderson went up with me to help me. The water was so cold or I was so nervous -- but when I came up out of the water, Mamma Zoe put her arms around me and said, "You're my little sister now!" They waited to offer the Lord's Supper that evening so that I could take it too, and it was almost too much emotionally, yet it was so special to be able to take it so soon after being baptized. by themother at 03/31/11 11:35PM x Thank you all for sharing! I LOVED reading these! And you make me miss my "first church family" very much. :) by leahhallnoats at 04/01/11 8:43AM x You are so loved & missed! And, I'm so happy we are "family"! :) by momw at 04/01/11 1:04PM x March 11, 1992--I was also 11. :) I remember deciding that afternoon that I was likely ready, going through the steps I needed to take up to baptism, having known for a while I was in sin but not having the nerve to be baptized, but today was going to be the day. I wrote my parents a note and called our preacher. My dad knew I knew what I was doing but just told me to make sure I was doing it for no one else. I "went forward" that Wednesday evening after the invitation after Bible study, and I can honestly say it was the happiest and most nerve-wracking moment of my life. My mom and soon-to-be aunt went back with me to help me change, and the congregation was singing "I Surrender All." I think they had been singing "Send the Light" when I went forward, but it's a blur so that's not as clear of a memory. I remember being nervous about the water itself--I've always been afraid of drowing--but this time I just did it, I was finally willing to risk that much (which I know sounds silly, but I was really afraid!). I shut my eyes really tightly. I was wearing white. Our preacher at the time baptized me. I remember coming out of the water and feeling incredibly free and light and clean. My grandfather said some words afterward about how proud he was of the decision I had made and how I was a fifth generation Christian on his mother's side of the family. Grandpa wasn't boasting--that's not his way--and honestly it made me feel as if I had something to live up to, a spiritual legacy and much positive peer pressure, if you will.

I was not an innocent child at 11 the way some children are innocent. Blame life circumstances, public schooling (haha), whatever... but I was totally and completely ready in every way and knew what I was doing. by curlie at 04/01/11 11:24PM x Great post! Look at all the good responses! I enjoyed reading details about your baptism that I didn't remember. I was baptized Saturday June 15, 1968. Sam Binkley preached. Two older boys went to the front during the invitation, then I went. I had been wanting to do it for several years but worried I wasn't old enough. After I went down the aisle, about 10 other boys my age went so we had a total of about 15 that night if I remember. Dad baptized me. The next day, a Sunday most of the other boys my age were baptized. I remember being happy, but also wondering if I knew enough. = by gsh2 at 04/04/11 9:13PM x I love it, Dad. I love how you had such a tender conscious; root beer, "bad" mitten, and all... by leahhallnoats at 04/05/11 2:31PM x

Satan is evil and I hate him and he is very, VERY real

at 03/29/11 6:10AM

I woke up really early this morning because I was all tangled up in blankets, sheets, comforters, top covers... too warm!

Can't go back to sleep...

Thankfully, God has been here with me, reminding me of His goodness and mercy.

And also, of specific ways that Satan has been working in my life as well as the lives of my fellow soldiers.

I really hate him!

I really hate what I've allowed him to do!

Sometimes, tiny events occur, and they are seemingly insignificant, and you don't realize until 4:45 in the morning when you wake up too hot, how significant they are, and how God's hand is working even in those seemingly insignificant events. I have to remind myself that NOTHING AND NO ONE IS INSIGNIFICANT.

(and yes, I have specifics in mind. I'd encourage you to meditate upon your specifics too!)

--

It reminds me of the 7th Harry Potter movie, where Harry, Ron, and Hermoine are just camping out, in danger, protected only by a little cushion of spells. They had no idea what was going to happen or when it was going to happen or how to make it happen but they knew SOMETHING was going to happen, and until they figured out how and when to do it, there was just a lot of waiting.

And those moments of waiting, preparing, and drudgery were MADDENING. So much so that Ron gave up for a while...

I know it's corny to bring up Harry Potter, but I just see so many spiritual paralells in that particular movie. How many times in our lives seem less colorful, full of drudge and mind-numbing work, preparation that is anything but glamourous and exciting, waiting...

And then, of course, ALL KINDS OF STUFF HAPPENS.

But sometimes, significant things ARE happening, and we don't even realize it WHILE they're happening, because we've been so numbed by the drudge that is day-to-day life.

And I've come to the point that I've realized that a good portion of our life is DRUDGE. It's work that seems insignificant (but allows us to do so much meaningful work!), it's interactions with mill-of-the-road-people (who are precious souls in the sight of God! Really, no one is mill-of-the-road! God doesn't create mill-of-the-road people! EMPATHY. IT'S ALL ABOUT EMPATHY, PEOPLE), and it's constantly trying to figure things out, like how to spend this very second of consciousness, how to BE more conscious, how to handle the sneaky suffering that is just MAKING IT THROUGH ANOTHER DAY.

This world is not our home.

And I am thankful to God for that.

But He has given us SO much good here on earth; so much to help us SURVIVE.

THRIVE.

AND FIGHT.

　

　

edit | delete I often get bogged down in drudge. Currently I'm trying to find a way out of the rut! by praguer at 03/29/11 8:30AM x Amen Leah! If we don't keep moving forward, we start sliding backwards. by heatheronthehill at 03/29/11 8:38AM x HUGS and I think we were having the same kind of night/morning. :) by curlie at 03/29/11 11:40AM x I needed to read this today. Thanks. I miss you, dear friend. (P.S. - I'm always lurking, and always appreciate and am encouraged by your thought-provoking posts.) by anna6689 at 03/29/11 7:20PM x AMEN. by sr15min at 03/29/11 9:35PM x Great thoughts! by daddysgirl at 03/30/11 11:32AM x Message received, and reply sent! by jlmanager at 03/30/11 3:49PM x

Jimmer Fredette, regret, and my friend Ryan

at 03/17/11 11:55AM *

I love Jimmer Fredette, because he plays amazing basketball, is named "Jimmer" as opposed to "Jimmy", and let's not forget...he's Mormon, and I love LOVE Mormons.

And now, on to something with much more relevancy...

---

I met my friend Ryan back in the fall of 2008. We had Logic class together in the Education Building at USF.

A handful of students used to congregate in front of the classroom several minutes early and talk about Logic, non-Logic, and all that falls between.

One time, I was passing out fliers for our Sowers of the Seed Bible study.

You should know that bible studies, particularly with people of differing faiths, have always excited me.

I love hearing what people believe and why they believe it.

So naturally, I invited Ryan.

When I handed him a slip, he looked up at me and said:

"Actually, I’m an Atheist."

Now, I know this isn’t fair to say, but it really surprised me, mostly because he seemed like a really nice guy.

Not that Atheists can’t be really nice guys, I just hadn’t experienced that many "really nice Atheist guys" in my sheltered little Christian life.

I admired him because he was really smart and a diligent student.

One time, he whipped out a large Law book of all things, in the middle of a particularly slow moment in class, and poured over it like it was delicious poetry…and he was a starving romantic.

I secretly wish I was more like that.

Needless to say, he never came to one of our bible studies.

In spite of this, I did get to talk to him about God.

He told me he believed the only place he was going after he died was six feet under the ground.

I told him all the reasons I could think of for believing otherwise.

Before one of our last logic classes, he told me he was trekking off to Guatemala to assist with open heart surgeries.

(He said this in the same tone of voice you might use when telling someone you were going to get a part-time job at the grocery store.)

I knew this would be a life-changing experience for him, primarily because my dad had visited with Christians in Guatemala on several occasions.

I knew many areas of Guatemala were poverty-stricken.

I also knew that seeing the fearfully-and-wonderfully-made insides of human beings would fill him with wonder.

Readers of the bible are told in Romans 1:20 that "since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."

And so I prayed for Ryan.

I prayed that he would see God in Guatemala.

I prayed that he would be softened by the poverty, and amazed by the way the human body works in all of its complexity and self-repairing magnificence.

When Ryan came back, he changed his religious views on Facebook from some kind of naturalism…to Deism.

When I invited him to come to church with me, he accepted the invitation.

The day he was supposed to come with me, he overslept.

He called me to apologize.

I told him that if he ever wanted to come with me again, that he was more than welcome.

He never did.

---

Flash forward to now…

---

I get this invitation on Facebook to come to a fundraiser at Chili’s for this non-for-profit company he started.

Basically, his organization seeks to provide medical care for the disadvantaged in Guatemala.

The company relies on monetary donations and excess medical waste donated from hospitals (out-of-date but still operable machinery, expired medicines, etc.)

These items are still usable, but disposed of because of Americans distain for anything less-than-the-best when it comes to medical care.

His company then ships or brings these supplies and machineries to Guatemala, where a network of volunteers works to treat the sick people.

I really want to go to his fundraiser, but I am incredibly intimated.

---

This guy graduated with a 4.0 with a double major in Law and Health Care Economics.

I graduated with my degree in Creative Writing with a shameful overall college GPA of 2.8.

　

He wrote an award winning thesis on better ways to use excess medical waste.

I wrote some pretty lame poetry.

He is the CEO of his own philanthropic company.

I work at a Credit Union call center as a phone operator.

　

He is planning on pursuing his law degree.

I don’t have a high enough GPA to get into grad school

and uh...

I'm planning on pursuing a career as a high school English teacher, but I’m dragging my feet and terrified to do it.

HE lets go of fear and jumps right in.

I’m still working on being a better steward of my time, talents, and resources.

He used his part of his scholarship money to fund a clinic in Guatemala.

---

　

So I get this invitation, and I'm overwhelmed with guilt and regret.

I mean, what have I done with the past 2.5 years of my life?

What exactly am I doing for the poverty-stricken citizens of the world?

Since it's basically nothing, am I truly living a Christ-like life?

If I go to this fundraiser, I don’t even know where to begin when it comes to trying to talk to him about Institutionalism.

His corporation is partially sponsored by a non-for-profit, faith-based organization.

How can I talk to him about Institutionalism, when as an individual, I’m barely doing anything to serve the disadvantaged?

And quite frankly, Institutionalism has always confused me. Particularly why "we," (whoever "we" are) don't do more for non-believers.

(Don't mistake me, we do ABOVE and BEYOND good works for those of the household of faith, but I feel like "I" and "we" tend to neglect to do good to ALL MEN.)

(If you want to discuss it with me, feel free to email me at leahallisonhall@gmail.com. Just please, not on this blog!)

I look up to Ryan so much, and I'm shocked that he even bothered to have such deep and meaningful conversations with me.

Yet I’m trying to "teach" him about qualities that he’s already mastered as someone who isn’t a Bible-following Christian?

I kind of feel like Lorelei, in Season 1 of the Gilmore Girls in the episode entitled "Star- Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers" when she meets Luke’s ex-girlfriend for the first time.

LORELAI: I'm Lorelai.

LUKE: Oh yeah. She's Lorelai.

LORELAI: I'm Luke's friend.

LUKE: Yeah. She uh, uh, works at the Independence Inn.

LORELAI: I run it, actually.

LUKE: Sorry, she runs it.

RACHEL: Wow, I love that place.

LORELAI: Oh!

RACHEL: That must be a pretty big job.

LORELAI: It is! It's crazy. There's always something happening. Like, we just put these coffee makers in all the rooms, but only half of them work. They just like shake and gurgle, like they're having some kind of a fit. Why were you in the Mideast?

RACHEL: I was doing a photo story, on how Palestinian and Israeli families have been affected by the violence.

LORELAI: Uh huh, well, so you understand about the job pressure, then…

RACHEL: Yeah...

LORELAI: I'm gonna go…

---

Please pray for me.

I have high hopes for this kid Ryan, but my own inadequacy is crippling me!

edit | delete Well. I think you've done some great things over the past couple of years - praying for people, having Bible studies, taking care of people's grandparents-in-law...etc. etc.

Ryan sounds like a great person - one who has a great love for people. Go to the fundraiser. Thank him for what he's doing. You can mention that your dad has been to Guatemala and you know there are a lot of people who are suffering there. Don't be intimidated - be inspired by what he's doing. Maybe you aren't going to go and start up a philanthropic company, but you do a lot of things for people. I think he'll be glad to see you and that can build a bridge. And hey - I think you'd make a great English teacher. Go for it! by jenn at 03/17/11 7:41PM x Wow Leah...as I read your thoughts of feeling inadequate or less than compared to Ryan's good deeds...I just kept repeating in my head, "Wow Leah!"

I really enjoy reading your blogs...you always seem genuinely concerned about the people in your life as well as total strangers. Your concern is for something so much more important than medical supplies or care...you are concerned with saving their souls & bringing them to Heaven with you! Don't be intimidated! You just keep doing what you do! Go to the fundraiser & let your light shine! I love you ;) by momw at 03/17/11 8:33PM x To quote Eleanor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Don't allow Ryan's accomplishments to make you feel inferior. With Christ, you can do anything and though you don't deserve salvation any more than anyone else, you're saved. In that sense, you're a step ahead of him. I will pray that Ryan can see God and that his mind can change for the better. Thanks for posting! by daddysgirl at 03/17/11 8:40PM x By the way, thanks for the comment on my post. I've read that Johnny Depp quote before and I like it too. He's right: we are all damaged in a way. by daddysgirl at 03/17/11 8:41PM x Leah, Ryan IS doing a lot of good things. But -- remember Cornelius? So was he doing lots of good things -- but it wasn't enough. Ryan is dealing with the here and now needs -- you are trying to deal with eternal issues! If looking at what he is doing makes you want to do more, that's fine -- but don't let what he's doing handicap you in what you ARE doing! That's one of Satan's favorite tools -- make you feel inferior and discouraged by comparing your efforts with those of others. Keep praying for Ryan, let him know you appreciate what he is doing, but also let him know that you are still hoping that he will consider planning for eternity! by themother at 03/17/11 9:43PM x Your dad was doing more for the Guatemalans. He was looking to their eternal needs. But, having said that, I know how you feel. It's hard not to be intimidated. I do like the Eleanor Roosevelt comment....just wish I could remember it when I need it! by theaunt at 03/18/11 10:56AM x There are some atheists who are caring and altruistic, often because of good influences in their childhood. It's the second and third generation of atheists who usually have the greater problems with life because they are further separated from any basis for living. Ryan sure sounds like an interesting guy. by gsh2 at 03/18/11 10:17PM x I know exactly how you feel ... I'll be praying for you. by sr15min at 03/19/11 11:12AM x Thanks, everyone! I really appreciate it. :) by leahhallnoats at 03/22/11 8:43AM x Leah, you are a darling, and you are welcome any time! :) Really. Next time you are in town, you are welcome to at least spend a day with us! Let me know what you want to learn, and I'll see what we can do!

Thanks for your encouraging words and for the prayers. by heatheronthehill at 03/23/11 9:56PM x "Brighten the Corner" - I think you do this more than you know. :) by heatheronthehill at 03/23/11 9:59PM x

who needs the Amazon? or I think I need sunset too...

at 08/06/10 12:47PM

So, I was on the road with my sister for several hours a couple of weeks ago.

It was to a sort of mini-family reunion with our mom's side of the family in North Georgia.

Anyway, she was telling me about how she and her husband took this super-fabulous vacation to the Amazon.

And had the adventure of a lifetime, more or less.

I'm talking a boa constrictor, pink river dolphin, remote village, vine swinging, gator catching, machete-slicing-through-the-jungle, catch-and- eat-pirana-fish adventure of a life-time kind of adventure.

And she told our whole family all about it, while I sat there quietly with my I-hardly-ever-leave-Florida existence, feeling jealous as all get out.

(I plan to have my own adventure in the Swiss Alps, by the way.)

Anyway, last night was amazing and it filled me with gratitude for the right here and right now.

I'm going to be a total goober and paste something from an email I sent to Beth this morning.

----

Then, on the way home, the sun was setting. And it was…breath-taking. And I had to pull over my car and enjoy it. So I pulled over on the side of 301, grabbed my camera and just went crazy. (And cars were honking their horns at me like I was crazy too. It's not like I didn't pull over well out of their way!)

The air was absolutely heavy with the perfect balance of melting heat and breeze.

and I felt like I was *inside* the sunset.

The river was *shimmering.*

In the eastern sky, a storm was rolling in with a confection of blue gray cotton candy clouds that occasionally sparked with lightening.

I could hear the soft whispers of crickets and creatures and the whirling of tires as they sped across the bridge.

I have had few moments where I have felt more richly in love with life itself than last night...

----

Anyway, I've said all that to say that

I was able to capture some shots that

were nearly as good as

the sunset photographs my sister had

in her possession from the Amazon.

And so, I feel very accomplished in the adventure department.

Because if pulling off the side of a semi-major highway to run around taking pictures and writing poetry and smiling like I'm on some kind of illegal stimulant isn't an adventure, then I don't know what is...

　

My eyes have seen Your glory...

...but likely just a billionth tenth fraction of it...

...to the negative millionth power...

　

edit | delete I've been in Florida and felt like I was inside the sun! Wow! I didn't know R.'s trip was that much. I knew she went to South America, but woah! I think you are more of a mountain person like me! :) by theaunt at 08/06/10 5:49PM x Oh! I would LOVE to see those photos! I LOVE your heart :) by momw at 08/06/10 7:11PM x the swiss alps are a good place for an adventure! you can even get snow flurries in july, if you're looking for that sort of thing. ha! by chooselove at 08/07/10 1:35PM x Rebecca has been hiding her light under a bushel (or an Indiana Jones hat!). It's a good thing she has you to catch us up on what she's doing -- maybe you should just hijack her Pleonast page! But -- I have to say that while you may not have had an Amazon-type adventure, you seem to be able to find adventures in each day -- even in Florida! And THAT is a real gift! (Please be careful on your adventures -- especially when you pull over to photograph sunsets!) by themother at 08/07/10 6:11PM x By the way, I seem to have misplaced your address, so if you could resend it to my email -- TeaAndBook@aol.com, I would appreciate it. by themother at 08/07/10 6:13PM x :) by jlmanager at 08/10/10 5:39PM x You're jealous over a "a boa constrictor, pink river dolphin, remote village, vine swinging, gator catching, machete-slicing-through-the-jungle, catch-and- eat-pirana-fish adventure of a life-time kind of adventure"? That sounds like pure torture to me. Throw in the head and humidity and you have something Dante should have included!! lol

　

by the_mom at 08/13/10 9:33AM x

Tower of Babel, and the song I'm addicted to...

at 07/29/10 5:50PM

Something I found. Gives a whole new meaning to "The LORD confused the language."

　

　

----

Use Your Words

Some findings on how language can affect thinking:

-Russian speakers, who have more words for light and dark blues, are better able to visually discriminate shades of blue.

-Some indigenous tribes say north, south, east and west, rather than left and right, and as a consequence have great spatial orientation.

-The Piraha, whose language eschews number words in favor of terms like few and many, are not able to keep track of exact quantities.

-In one study, Spanish and Japanese speakers couldn't remember the agents of accidental events as adeptly as English speakers could. Why? In Spanish and Japanese, the agent of causality is dropped: "The vase broke itself," rather than "John broke the vase."

---

　

　

Also, I am completely addicted to this song. Must have listened to it eight hundred times at work today. Please excuse the video, although...it is somewhat endearing, seeing as I love teenage boys and just got back from a roadtrip...

　

　

edit | delete i love the nuances of language and the awesome ways that it interacts with people's understanding of the world. though i constantly then feel like i'm missing out since i only know one language fluently anymore by chooselove at 07/29/10 7:30PM x I like that language stuff-- I remember learning about how Eskimos have tons more words for snow than we do. Names for it at all different snowinesses! hahah. The words we think changes the way we think. I think that's so cool!

by krazykrizn at 08/01/10 11:21PM x which came first, the chicken or the egg? it's amazing how culture and environment shape our words and how words shape our environment. by elmaravillo at 08/02/10 10:49PM x

I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset

at 07/23/10 7:16AM

I watched the sunrise this morning. Pretty sure that will never get old... :)

Looking forward to being stuck in a car with my sister for ten hours...

---

Mormons came to our door last night. They were really, really sweet.

But...as Mr. Pickup would say, we ate their lunch. (Priscilla, Stephanie, and I.)

----

They couldn't give us any reasons to study the book of Mormon, since we already study the bible.

One of the guys even quoted a beautiful passage from the book of Mormon, and I said "Wow, that was beautiful. But your realize that's basically already written in the bible."

I learned something I didn't know, that the Mormons believe that there are a sort of "12 apostles" on the earth today and they have a Christ-like figure too? Crazy stuff...

Anyway, we agreed to go to one of their studies if they go to one of ours. :)

I'm really glad they came to our door. Sometimes I need "a project" like that to motivate me to study more. I shouldn't need "a project" but sadly, "projects" and trials are what can motivate me the most spiritually.

If that's what it takes, then so be it.

Glory to God!

　

　

edit | delete Paul and I studied with a couple of Mormons every week for about a month. We even got them to visit our service one Sunday night! They were really nice guys. It was really interesting to learn more about their beliefs, and we read a lot of their material just to gain more insight into where they're coming from. After 4 weeks of studying with them, they came by our house and said that their mission supervisor had told them they needed to quit coming to our house, b/c it was obvious that we weren't going to be swayed. But they told us that they had enjoyed talking with us and thanked us for being nicer and more willing to listen than most Christians are.

It's great to get opportunities to plant seeds, isn't it? :) by apbooklover04 at 07/23/10 9:25AM x One of the most interesting, yet saddest, places we visited was Salt Lake City. There were so many things to admire, but they were just SO WRONG! I was moved to tears several times by their earnestness and dedication to false doctrine. I'm glad I went, but I never want to go back. by themother at 07/23/10 10:58AM x One of my best friends in high school was a mormon. I had studies with him which didn't get us anywhere, but he's the nicest guy you'll ever meet. by jifennerh at 07/23/10 11:48AM x Sunrises and Skyline are hard to beat. by wilbur at 07/26/10 10:06PM x Leah, I just LOVE reading your blogs. Seriously. EVERY time I stop by I am edified, challenged, and often rebuked. I thank God for that and you. So be it. by heidiw at 07/29/10 9:48AM x

Skyline chili, in retrospect

at 07/20/10 4:54PM

　

The Skyline Chili restaurarant off of US Highway 19 was somewhat hidden. You had to really be looking for it in order to notice it.

It was in a tacky, blue roofed strip mall with yellow block lettering. If I had never heard about Skyline Chili, I might have never stepped foot in there, unless I was feeling particularly unstimulated, adventurous, and...fearless.

The inside of the restaurant was spacious. I loved the walls. A framed Cincinnati skyline at night greeted me as I looked to my left. Numerous sports jerseys, sport pennants, and Cincinnati memoriablia cluttered the walls.

I loved that someone loved a city enough to try to duplicate the feel of that city in a completely different region of the United States.

Forget Rome, Italy and Paris, France. Give me Hackettstown, NJ!

and...Cincinnati, Ohio!

The t-shirts the crew members wore were so endearing. Pop-art and chili stains and varying bright colors. Quirky characters sporting beards and thick-framed eyeglasses were passionate about the food and the over-all Skyline Chili experience of us newbies.

They offered us a sample.

It was not what I was expecting at all.

I was expecting something chunkier and spicier.

Needless to say, the finely ground meat and sweet/savory sauce had me intrigued enough to dive into a regular size Four-Way with onions.

It kind of tasted like Indian food. Maybe they use curry in the sauce?

There were definitely hints of cinnamon and chocolate in there. (I was somewhat prepared for that surprise taste sensation, thank you very much, Google.)

It was such an intriguing sensory experience. Every bite got progressively better. The fancy shredded cheddar cheese piled on top was a nice touch, adding a nice consistency to the entire dish. It also tasted fabulous with a little hot sauce.

There was something extremely comforting about it. It tasted familiar, and yet dramatically different from any other chili I've ever tasted. (and I've sampled a wide variety at the annual Chili cook-offs in Valrico every summer.)

I could completely empathize with homesick 'Natis who were missing their Skyline Chili.

It made me wish I was in Cincinnati on a cold winter’s night, right in front of the skyline lights, devouring that chili just to warm up.

So I'd have to say, that they've won themselves another fan.

　

Good thing I have friends in Clearwater!

　

　

　

edit | delete I love chili! I also enjoyed reading your Skyline experience...it made me hungry...for chili! by momw at 07/20/10 6:06PM x I LOVE Skyline! When I was at FC, those of us from Cincinnati would have to venture to Skyline sometimes to get our fix. You should come here and then you can stay with me and Ben and then you can have real skyline that isnt shipped from up here! It does have chocolate in it! I went to school with the creator of the chili's grandson. Very wealthy family. by rachelliz at 07/20/10 7:42PM x Nice. glad you like it ;p by click at 07/20/10 9:58PM x I love the way you wrote this -- almost you persuade me to try some! I've heard about Cincinnati-style chili before -- but -- chocolate??? Have you ever considered writing a food column? by themother at 07/21/10 5:33PM x

Skyline Chili?

at 07/19/10 1:33PM

We're going to Skyline Chili in Clearwater tonight.

I've heard a lot about this Skyline Chili.

　

What's the best thing on the menu? edit | delete honestly? I'm not a fan. I always get a salad to avoid the actual chili... the stuff they're so famous for... but don't let me ruin it for ya. Try it out. by click at 07/19/10 3:15PM x thanks, Miriam. :) by leahhallnoats at 07/20/10 3:35PM x

　

confidential

at 07/07/10 8:31AM

There is something so satisfying about tearing into confidential mail with a knife-like letter opener.

　

　

Having the complete legal authority to do it?

Even better.

　

I love posting at work... edit | delete "Enquiring minds want to know...." by themother at 07/08/10 12:42PM x Love, love, love your profile picture. Makes me want to go write in my diary while sitting on one of those delicious beds and staring out the window. by laurar209 at 07/09/10 10:28AM x Thanks, Laura. It's a treehouse!!! It really is a treehouse!!! by leahhallnoats at 07/13/10 12:20AM x

one last thing about the strength that comes from being vulnerable...

at 07/02/10 12:40PM

People who are vulnerable before God and others have absolutely nothing to hide.

Fear loses its power over the vulnerable individual.

This gives boundless courage to live without so many of life's soul-crippling limitations.

---

Still chewing on it...

edit | delete You make me think and I really appreciate that. by anna6689 at 07/02/10 4:39PM x You have such a beautiful mind. I thank God for that. Really. by heidiw at 07/03/10 4:01PM x

on a lighter note...

at 06/30/10 10:21AM

I ran into a lady that I don’t know at work, but I smiled and was polite to her.

I said, "Hi, how are you today."

She said, "Marvelous" with an interesting fake accent.

Then I said something along the lines of "Marvelous…I like that word."

Then, she proceeded to tell me that she was quoting Billy Holiday, but that he actually stole it from someone else even earlier than him, someone even more famous, from the 1920's or 30's.

This is all taking place as we’re walking towards the bathroom...

Anyway, she’s still talking to me...as I walk into my stall.

I don’t know how you all feel about this, but I kind of don’t like talking when I’m…you know, doing my thing, if you will.

I know some people, especially family members, might feel completely fine yakking it up while they proceed to number 1, number 2, or whatever number.

But I have always appreciated privacy. With my family members, best friends, everyone…but especially with people I don’t know at all!

As if that weren’t uncomfortable enough, she’s yakking it up while I’m peeing, and then the girl in the stall on the other side starts PUKING HER GUTS OUT.

I mean, this was some serious puking.

I could not wait to wash my hands and get out of there!

　

　

　

　

　

edit | delete At AirTran, we had a guy that had a cordless phone for work, and he would answer it while "in the process". I always wondered who was the most uncomfortable - me, or the person he had on the line who suddenly realized where the conversation was taking place... by jlmanager at 06/30/10 12:30PM x Is there another Billie Holiday that's a guy from the 20's/30's? by aubrey_leigh at 06/30/10 2:48PM x Billy Crystal used to impersonate Fernando Lamas saying, "Marvelous" in a weird accent. Perhaps that's it. by kodiakmaster at 06/30/10 7:03PM x There are some strange people out there. by the_mom at 07/01/10 7:41PM x

the strength that comes from being vulnerable

at 06/29/10 10:06AM

I have always loved the story of the Velveteen Rabbit. When I was small, I sensed a deep and profound kind of magic radiating from the pages of the short story.

I never completely understood the concept as a child, but when I re-read it as an adult I gained a fresh and ingrained understanding of the metaphor contained within it.

It moved me deeply and has since become one of my favorite stories of all time.

I did a little research on the author, Margery Williams, and didn’t find anything about her religious beliefs.

I would be as bold as to guess that she was a Christian.

One of the reasons I became a Christian is because even at the young age of eleven years old, I was already a chronic liar.

It took years to fully overcome. I remember making a real effort to further refine the process by being sometimes more honest than necessary.

Honesty demands a pinch of pain, a cup of humility, and a bucket of vulnerability.

I’ve found that nothing hurts me more than when someone I love isn’t 100% honest and open with me.

I’m not saying it’s easy. Telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth has been, at least for me, one of the most single difficult tasks to undergo.

But I try to do it anyway.

I think men especially struggle with this. God designed them to be strong, and anyone who has ever read a book on relationships knows how much men hate being perceived as weak.

But sometimes I don’t think they realize the strength that comes from being vulnerable.

They know, at least on a subconscious level, how much they are drawn to the vulnerability of a woman.

What I don’t think many of them know is how much a woman is drawn to the vulnerability of a man.

Vulnerability is honest.

Vulnerability is truthful.

Vulnerability is…hot.

---

Women highly value honest and open communication. Trust me on this. You can Google it.

They also have that womanly sense when they know something is off.

A woman can certainly be deceived (hello, Eve!), but if she truly pays attention, God has given her the sense to know when a piece of crucial information is not being disclosed to her.

Men and women are commanded to humble themselves in the sight of the Lord.

There are so many passages that talk about the concept of how we need to put off the old man and his ways and to put off the old man and all lying. ALL lying.

Love is to be genuine. Love is to be without hypocrisy.

I can think of people in my life, who when I desperately needed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth from them, have refused to honor me by disclosing the whole truth.

Nothing hurts me more.

People can be so fake, inconsistent, and secretive.

And I need to remember that I have been the same way with God.

How much it must hurt Him!

I cannot, you cannot, and we cannot draw close to God if we are lying to God, lying to ourselves, and lying to those around us, even in the smallest of ways.

Let us become more vulnerable, more honest, and more real.

Let us become more like our Savior.

God, help us!

edit | delete Oh, Leah, what a great writer you are! You are so good at distilling sound thoughts into a personal and compelling piece. I especially love your words: Honesty requires a pinch of pain, a cup of humility, and a bucket of vulnerability. The only thing I would add is that it also requires love -- to say what needs to be said and to say it in a loving manner. You have really touched my heart today! by themother at 06/29/10 12:15PM x thanks Aunt Cherry, but glory to God! Not being fake and being truly honest are two things that I have struggled with and that I'm seeing my loved ones struggle with as well. We all need God's help! by leahhallnoats at 06/29/10 12:40PM x "Even so, there are times when we lose our way and tell people what they want to hear instead of what is true, twist the truth slightly, or tell only half of it if it fits our agendas. We end up playing subtle games." - Brenda Waggoner from The Myth of the Submissive Christian Woman. Great book. i don't condone all of the life-choices she made, but there is still a lot of wisdom to be found here if you need a good read! by leahhallnoats at 06/29/10 12:46PM x Good post as always,. by jlmanager at 06/29/10 7:42PM x

"faint but audible...like the sound of wind over a microphone"

at 06/23/10 10:57AM

^that's from a poem I've been working on. Bah! I love words!

----

So, the reason I was able to wear shorts and flip-flops to work is simply because we had a special summer party/cook-out day, and they actually let us dress like that!

I've NEVER been allowed to do that at any place I have ever worked.

It was so much fun!

---

Life has been busy, which could be good, but could also be bad.

---

I've found it to be good at times, and bad at other times.

----

Good, because certain busy-ness can bring much joy to others as well as to oneself.

----

Bad, because certain busy-ness can distract from desperately needed one-on-one time with God.

---

I'm certain this is a common problem... a constant problem...

...sure to be remedied in heaven.

oh heaven. oh home that I've never been to but somehow know so well...

---

I was reading MSN at work yesterday and it was all about famous last meals and famous last words.

Extremely morbid, naturally, but extremely good.

Need I mention how much better it is to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting? I didn't think so...

---

Anyway, I read Mother's Teresa's last words, which I don't actually remember...something along the lines of "Take me, Jesus..." or something like that...

But, I stumbled upon something far more fascinating under "Famous Quotes from Mother Teresa" and I found one that I can absolutely and intimately understand.

　

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

---

Let that sink in...

---

It made me want to research her life on Wikipedia, which I of course proceeded to do.

Basically, I'm amazed by her.

I'm amazed by all the good, the bad, and the controversy.

"They" say everyone is full of contradictions.

And, oh my word, I love the word "contradiction."

"They" also say...that perfect contradictions are what irony is made of.

But...who are "they" anyway?

"They" have got to know something...don't "they?"

Do we hate "them?"

Or love "them?"

Or listen to "them?"

I sure don't know...

---

I want to live in a tree...

　

　

　

　

　

edit | delete But you'd get wet when it rained. :) Glad you enjoyed flip-flop day! by praguer at 06/23/10 3:03PM x I wouldn't get wet! See my profile pic? That's a treehouse! Isn't it beautiful? I want to live THERE! Okay. Off to go grow up now... by leahhallnoats at 06/23/10 4:58PM x

I'm at work...

at 06/17/10 8:28AM

...and I'm wearing shorts and flip-flops!

　

I'm giddy. It's the little things, you know? edit | delete ????? by themother at 06/18/10 9:48PM x

from the manila folders in my mind: an ode to overheads

at 05/06/10 2:12PM

If my mind were to be compared to a filing cabinet, it would be cluttered and tightly packed.

I can’t help but think of my dad’s filing cabinet, back in his home office.

Manila folders stuffed tight with white sheets of paper…with random bent corners sticking out just begging… to paper-cut-you-open…

It was always so firmly packed that it severely hurt my fingers to graze the folder jungle because of all the pressure and sharp edges mashing my knuckles…

Anyway, I don’t know where in the filing cabinet of my mind this came from…

…or who, exactly, pulled the file out…

but I was just thinking…about my dad.

-------------

Specifically, I had this memory of my dad preaching and using an overhead projector.

Yep, you read that right…an overhead projector…

Remember those?

And then I started thinking about overhead projectors and how much I miss them...

I miss the low hum and dusty light.

I miss the clear plastic-y sheets that made cool noises when you bent them.

I miss the slide show presentations of gospel work in foreign countries, where, for whatever reason, the latest technology is not an "imperative" implementation into solid bible teaching.

I’ll never forget the first time I saw my dad using Powerpoint, as opposed to the trusty and noble overhead projector that I’ve love so much.

I think it was my sophomore year at FC…

I nearly cried.

I’ve said all that to say this: if you or someone you love is still using an overhead projector…embrace the implementation. Don’t foolishly long for expensive and modern technologies! Be thankful for your simple and frugal piece of machinery!

The overhead projector has become an invaluable relic. A work of art, if you will, at least to me.

It has become what snail mail has become to email, what payphones have become to cell phones, and what record players have become to iPods…timeless classics that need not be forgotten by our younger, more flippant generations.

And so, next time you see an overhead projector, pause for a moment. Appreciate what is almost lost, and remember…for everyone…

　

http://www.absoluteastronomy.com/topics/Overhead_projector

--

I think I have reached a new level of nerdiness…

edit | delete I miss it too in some ways. I was amazed how Dad could put so much on a slide. He would have "flip" pages and make them colorful. When he first learned how to use Powerpoint though, he said, "I've been waiting for this all my life." Now he doesn't have to "flip" because he can just push a button.

Do not negate the importance of using the overhead projector to trace big pictures! by theaunt at 05/06/10 3:43PM x you make a very valid point! by leahhallnoats at 05/06/10 4:14PM x I never imagined my stuffed file cabinets or old projector would provoke such nostalgia! I'm remembering sheet sermons now but doubt you would know what I'm talking about. by gsh2 at 05/07/10 9:35AM x BTW I miss you. I saw your picture in the New Jersey Camp video! by theaunt at 05/07/10 11:47PM x Ah -- I was just thinking about sheet sermons when I read your dad's comment! And -- one of Nene's favorite stories is about the time your granddaddy was preaching with an overhead projector and a bug got trapped under the plastic sheet. Just about the time it would struggle out the edge and onto the top -- whap! Down would come another plastic sheet! Dad couldn't figure out what was so funny about his sermon! Nene says she could never get him to look at the screen! But I appreciate your "Ode to Overheads"! :) by themother at 05/08/10 5:48PM x Sheet sermons, overheads..... my favorite is the chalkboard or black board.

And my dad's files used to be exactly the same way. Now they belong to my brother in law. by hanban at 05/10/10 1:46PM x ha i remember you're dads crazy messy office. by ashlee at 05/12/10 3:36PM x oh Aunt Cherry, I so wish I could've been an eyewitness to that whole "trapped bug" incident! sounds pretty priceless... :) by leahhallnoats at 05/14/10 10:13AM x Used one the other day in the Wednesday night kids class. We had them working on a crossword puzzle that we put on an overhead and projected onto a whiteboard, which we then filled in. I had to get a good layer of dust off of it before we could use it. Next you'll have me thinking about chalkboards... by jlmanager at 05/14/10 12:05PM x You can't "write as you go" with Powerpoint. That's what I like about overheads. . . . writing on the overhead as you teach. I had one teacher that actually wrote on the glass. We had to take notes fast before he erased the glass again! by praguer at 05/17/10 4:18PM x

stream of consciousness

at 04/29/10 6:05PM

New converts. New Jersey. Men.

Aches and pulls

for everywhere

and everything.

Rocks and rain and scars and mud.

Salt and hot grease.

Dry.

Warmth.

Guatemala.

Broken Spanish. Kids.

Endless energy.

Animals, plants, rice, food.

Simplicity.

Mirrors, Hallways, Darkness, Grief.

Headaches. Tears. Eyeliner smeared.

Skin creased

into premature wrinkles.

Pears. Soft and sweet.

Extra attention.

Gas and airplanes.

Danger.

…people who have done the exact same thing

every day for twenty years…

More hugs.

More meaningful conversations.

More energetic arguing.

More playful tension.

More music.

Much more music.

More singing.

More making people smile.

More water.

More walking.

More breezes. Warm, cool, and cold.

More believing.

More gazing.

More honesty.

More bravery.

More exposure.

More photographs.

More pictures.

Picture that.

--------

This is what I write when it's slow at work...

　

-----

speaking of work, I love these verses.

　

　

"...that our God may brighten our eyes and grant us a little reviving in our slavery. For we are slaves. Yet our God has not forsaken us in our slavery, but has extended to us his steadfast love..."

　

relevant, right?

　

　

　

edit | delete I hope to be here, since it's required for me to graduate, ha. by sr15min at 04/29/10 9:00PM x okay good! by leahhallnoats at 05/01/10 1:36PM x What version is that, Leah? And what is the reference? I'm stumped! by themother at 05/01/10 6:49PM x I like your profile picture! :) by missy_my at 05/03/10 6:16PM x hey, Aunt Cherry. That is from Ezra 9:8b&9A.

:) by leahhallnoats at 05/06/10 2:07PM x

on being single

at 04/02/10 11:02AM

I’m 25. I’ve never been in a serious relationship. (Mostly, because I’m picky. Also, because I have some serious issues…)

I have, however, had some of the most fulfilling friendships with men…best friendships…

…and loved so deeply that the power of it absolutely terrifies me.

We are supposed to fear God/Love. He is more powerful than we sometimes want to recognize.

----------

Sometimes I think that losing some of the people I’ve lost…

…has felt like nothing less than a soul amputation.

And maybe you think that’s melodramatic. And maybe it is…

But then maybe you just haven’t been that blessed yet.

But you probably will, because God is good, and God IS Love.

And Love is pretty hard to escape.

Love is IMPOSSIBLE to escape.

--------

That being said, marriage is a sacrifice. You are essentially saying: "I choose to love you the most out of any other person on this earth…until one of us dies."

It’s something that I still have a hard time understanding. I’ve really only loved one person enough to want to marry him.

and I’m still amazed at how easy it was. I didn’t feel like I’d be giving up anything should I choose to marry him. (and I wanted to marry him.)

He made it so much easier for me to love God, to love EVERYONE.

But because of sin, because it wasn’t God’s plan, because Satan had something to do with it…because of something much more simple that I’m not willing to admit…

… I’m still alone, and …he’s not.

-------------------

　

I just wish that more married people would tell you how hard it is to love someone.

I feel like no one tells you how many people you WILL love, and how much it’s going to hurt to have to give so much of that love up.

I don’t feel like you’re with the "right person" if you FEEL like you’re giving something up, either….

What kind of love is it if you have to give it up?

Do you really love the person you’re with if you feel the pain of giving someones/somethings up?

Better yet, why do you have to?

Is there still someone out there that I can be with who would allow me to live my life in the best way for God, so that I didn’t "feel" like I was giving anything to up?

Every time I even think about getting married, all I can think about is the sacrifice. Maybe it’s because I haven’t met "the right person," and by the way, I really hate that expression "the right person" because it makes it sound like there is only one person, and I guess really there is only one person once you make the choice, unless someone dies.

(Have I mentioned that I’m so glad that there is no marriage in heaven, save the Bride and the Ultimate Groom?)

---------------

I love being single because there’s so much freedom.

I can reach out to the broken-hearted and lonely in ways that a married person never could, because bottom line is that they don’t understand what it’s like, at least not in the present-tense.

I can get to know whoever I want, encourage them, grow with them and from them. I can love more than one person "the easy way," at least, before we have to work out differences, live together, get sick of each other, etc. (But even that stuff makes love deeper somehow…)

I can make my own decisions and the only Person I have to answer to is God.

------------

No one is taking me for granted…

…but no one is loving me either.

I don’t feel like I’m the most important person in the world to anyone, and the bottom line is that I’m not, unless I choose to get married.

-------------

　

　

That being said, Paul was single. I LOVE that Paul was single. He deeply loved SO many people. I sometimes wonder if his thorn in the flesh was the burden of being alone. But He always had God, and God’s grace was sufficient for him.

I think it’s so amazing how much the Holy Spirit used a single man to write so much brilliance about marriage. I wonder if Paul’s married friends ever taunted him saying: "…that’s easy for you to say…you don’t know what it’s like!"

God will always be our greatest love. Sometimes when I think about getting married someday, I think about how much I’ll want to have my husband’s advice/input about things.

How can I even do that without praying about it first?

How can I lean on someone so much other than God?

Better yet, how can I trust someone enough?

I know that I’ll always love God more than any man…but if God’s love really is enough than why do I still want a man so much? and NOT JUST ANY MAN.

I guess God made me that way…

You can’t really love until You’ve loved Him…

1 John 4:19

　

　

　

　

edit | delete Excellent post. And I like your blog picture. :) by jlmanager at 04/02/10 7:00PM x Leah, you always give me so much to think about. I wish I was as eloquent with my writing as you are, but I am thankful for the talent that God gave you:)

"We are supposed to fear God/Love. He is more powerful than we sometimes want to recognize."-how true, how true.

I don't think I have ever loved anyone to the point of marriage. I've liked people so much that it hurt, but love? I don't know. I was talking with a friend of mine a couple of days ago, and he said that his mom told him that there were a few times in her marriage that the only reason she and her husband stayed together was because of the vow they made to God. This woman is a Christian, and she and her husband have been married for over 30 years; but I wish more people were as open about marriage as she was. The idea of marriage scares me; it's definitely not something to take lightly. But, when we make the decision to enter into a relationship with God, we are choosing to love Him, giving up those we have loved before, making a vow to Him, and marrying Him. I think sometimes we take that relationship to lightly. I know I do, and I continue to do it. Why do we make such a big deal out of finding someone to marry in this life and give little or no thought to marrying the Creator for eternity? by dixiechick at 04/02/10 11:55PM x Didn't mean for it to be that long:) by dixiechick at 04/02/10 11:55PM x i concur, leah.

about sacrificing stuff, giving stuff up...i don't know how to word it well, except to say that i concur. by chooselove at 04/03/10 12:09PM x You're thinking straight, Leah, and perhaps some day someone will come along who will make the sacrifice worthwhile for you. In the meantime, learning to be content in the role in which you are currently placed will serve you well whatever may happen. And you can be sure that "all things WILL work together" for your good, because it is evident that you do love the Lord. And I love you. by themother at 04/03/10 4:52PM x Good thoughts - and love the picture. Is that the smell of burning biscuits? ;) by jenn at 04/03/10 4:55PM x In the meantime, I believe the pray for you is, "God, you know what plans you have for me. If there is marriage in those plans, if there is a companion for me that will help me get to heaven, please keep him safe until it is our time to be together." by the_mom at 04/04/10 11:19AM x ^and "please help me to be the person who would attract such a man." As for marriage, sacrifice, etc., I agree that being single gives you great freedom. I loved that freedom to go and do whatever I wanted. But as you say, I eventually wanted someone to be with, as a companion. Someone to share myself with completely and lean on. I wasn't in a hurry, and no one should be. It's a huge commitment and shouldn't be rushed. I don't believe there's only one "right person" for everyone. But I know there are a lot of "wrong people!" So enjoy your time of singleness :) and keep your eyes out for that special guy who will help you on your walk to Heaven. And sacrifices . . . . yeah, there are lots, I suppose. But I think they pale in comparison to the benefits obtained from doing whatever it takes to be a "suitable helper" for the person you love. R & I sometimes joke that we're "stuck with each other," but we wouldn't have it any other way! :)

If I may recommend a book, read "Created to be His Help Meet" or "Preparing to be His Help Meet," by Debi Pearl. (I think those are the correct titles.) I've read the first one, and I don't agree with everything she says, but she makes some very good points. The second book sounds good for single ladies. I haven't read it yet (may not get around to it for a while), but I think you might benefit from it. Just a thought! by praguer at 04/09/10 10:35AM x amen! by leahhallnoats at 04/14/10 10:14AM x and Sister Tam, you were probably the coolest single lady on the face of the planet. I always wanted to be like you! by leahhallnoats at 04/14/10 10:16AM x I'm so glad I got on Pleo tonite and saw this post! We should chat about this. :) Miss you! Love you! Praying for you! by belle at 04/25/10 11:57PM x

if it's not real, you can't hold it in your hand

at 03/27/10 12:38AM

Reputation means nothing to me.

I want to know who you are...right now.

completely stripped of everything external.

who are you then?

who are you...really?

--------

man, I get so deep, dark, and emo on my pleonast these days.

-------

The days are warm and yellow

　

and I love Tuesdays with Katie. edit | delete I really appreciate those thoughts! It's so important to just keep it real! God ALWAYS knows who we really are at every given moment! by momw at 03/27/10 1:08AM x emo leah. i thought that was normal leah? ;) by chooselove at 03/27/10 1:36AM x but if it's true you can see it with your eyes... even in the dark.

I LOVE THAT ALBUM. by age_six_racer at 03/29/10 3:20AM x

Blogging on pleonast will never get old for me

at 03/13/10 12:56AM

Picking up Laura from the airport at 1:15ish this morning.

She's been in London.

I LOVE London.

and Ireland.

and guys from London and Ireland.

and accents.

and the band, The Script.

and that song, Break Even.

---------

Since I've decided to stay in Florida...

(never thought I would actually do that. Who knew? Well, God, obviously!)

but anyway, since I've decided to stay in Florida, my new favorite song is "Deep South" by Cartel.

I blare it.

In my car.

The most natural place to blare music.

(Neenee would be so proud. oh wait...)

and it's amazing.

Except I wish the words were

"Go and get my 'thoughts,' bring 'em to the deep south, somewhere they can thaw out"

instead of...

"Go and get my 'bones,' bring 'em to the deep south, ditto ditto ditto"

but I guess "bones" has more of an image...

and a death-like connotation...

--------------------

Florida is FINALLY acting like Florida again. Warmth. Rain.

I LOVE Florida in March.

I love unexpected airport adventures!

and gas stations.

and coffee.

and gas station coffee.

especially Quick Chek...

even their decaf is good.

who EVEN has good decaf coffee?

----

turns out, I have to go.

To the airport, like...now.

and to heaven, like...as soon as possible.

(hopefully not in a tragic car accident though, but you know...)

　

--------

I miss Dorothy Gore so much.

I've only had a handful of people I'm close to pass away, and none of them were in my day-to-day life like she was.

The pain is so strange.

--------

　

　

　

edit | delete i saw on a coffee window once in old hyde park "drinking decaf coffee is like kissing your sister"

haha! by chooselove at 03/14/10 8:18PM x

My dad really is amazing

at 02/26/10 11:19PM

I know I've said that my dad is amazing, and implied that my dad is amazing before, but it so true, and I am so thankful for him and the way he helps me grow closer to my REAL DAD: GOD!

----

This is a song about forgiveness. I love it, because it is such the HUMAN way to forgive, not the godly way.

Pete says,

"I am on your side. It has taken me a long time. I am on your side. I just want to tell you off."

Kind of funny...

...but for anyone who has had to forgive someone who has never asked for forgiveness...

...or for anyone trying to forgive someone who doesn't understand the depths to which they hurt you, I'm sure you'll "get" this song...

I sometimes think about how God forgives us even we hurt Him without knowing exactly how we've hurt Him, or to what depths we have hurt Him.

It must take a lot out of Him...if that's possible...

　

　

Matthew 6:14-15

edit | delete Loved this post. Made me think. Have a great day :) p.s. I like Pete Yorn too! by krazykrizn at 02/27/10 8:10AM x I love this song. by megan at 02/27/10 8:17PM x Like the picture of you and NeNe -- and you're right -- your dad IS amazing. by themother at 03/05/10 9:20PM x

I've been up since four!

at 01/24/10 7:35AM

I think about this a lot...

If you have a relatively easy life, full of blessings and minimal sufferings, doesn't it either mean that...

A) God is pleased with you and is blessing you for your good behavior and loyal service to Him

or

B) God thinks you are weak and that you can't bear too many temptations or trials?

If that ain't a big 'ole slice of peanut butter humble pie, I don't know what is...

---------------------------------

Pride vs. Humility

Being Judgmental vs. Empathy

--------------------------------

I just got done reading a book I purchased for 50% off at the Walden Books at the University Mall. The store is going out of business. Hit it up if you're in the area...

but anyway, it's called the Year of Living like Jesus by Ed Dobson.

and I kind of loved it, mostly because it was open-minded and thought-provoking.

I mean, the guy is kind of a fruit-cake.

He is what Debi Pearl would call a visionary man, the type of guy who tries crazy things and tackles huge crazy projects because "he has a dream."

I feel sorry for his poor wife. (He barely talks about her. Which in the journal-like format of the book is somewhat disturbing to me.)

(*Sidenote* I read "Created to be His Helpmeet" to sort of counter all of the feminist...how should I put this...literature...that I was exposed to in the TWO feminist classes I took at USF. It terrified me and made me never want to get married. Not really. but sort of. I digress...)

Anyway, Ed Dobson seems very religiously mixed up, but he really seems to try. In his year of living like Jesus he listens to and/or reads the gospels (and only the gospels, not the whole bible, which is significant) on a weekly basis, dapples in Jewish practices (Jesus did!), and also somehow gets Catholicism tied up in there.

and the whole thing is just kind of fascinating...

I want to read "The Year of Living Biblically" by A.J. Jacobs next. Jacobs doesn't seem as reverent or as knowledgeable about the Bible as Dobson is, but it's just so so interesting to me and I just can't help myself.

-----------------------------

　

Ed Dobson makes much more sense when he is more heavily steeped in the word then when talking to religious leaders...

-----------------------------------------

Galatians chapter 6 is so so good.

------------------------------

I'm still reading Ezekiel. Charity thinks chapter 16 is gross, but I think the imagery is so cool. I love how God looks at the pathedic little baby with the ambilical cord still hanging out and says "Live!"

I think the gross part is the part about feces earlier in the book, and God is like "okay, you can use cow feces instead of human feces..."

but that may just be me...

---------------------------------

I don't want to give a "real" update on my life, because I'm extremely paranoid.

I will say, however, that post-graduation finds me driving past USF and looking it at with a longing nostalgia.

I miss it and (some) of the students and (some) of the professors there.

... and just sitting in class chewing on ideas and arguing with stupid (and some extremely witty and intelligent!) people.

---------------------------------

I'm so extremely thankful for Ed Harrel's Restoration History class. I love him, the class itself, the people in the class (young and old, so great!) and everything we've been learning.

Beth Raymer is my hero for taking it as a non-credit course with me.

-----------------

Really want to learn more about the Greek Orthodox church. Seems to appeal to extremely intelligent young people...what's the deal?

I love simple, pure-hearted people and a message that can reach both those and those of a higher intellect.

---------------------

What's so special about us except that God sent His Son to die for us?

-----------------

Nothing, really.

-------

The month of February is going to be insane...

edit | delete That Dobson book sounds interesting. "Created to Be His Help Meet" is definitely a perfect counter-balance to a feminist class, and it has some good ideas. But I also think it goes too far to the extreme. Books like that are what give people horrible misconceptions about submission. Mrs. Pearl pretty much believes in being a doormat. She even says that if you're husband is going the wrong way or gets lost while driving, that you shouldn't correct him or tell him which way to go. She says that you should never confront your husband about anything he's done, even blatant sin. All that to say, I can see why you might finish the book feeling the way you did. by apbooklover04 at 01/24/10 4:15PM x no, i said i LIKE chapter 16 and parts of the rest of the book are kind of gross! by snowwhite at 01/24/10 11:43PM x Ooooh, jealous that you get to take Ed's class. When you started mentioned Dobson's book I was getting him mixed up with Jacobs. I remember watching Jacobs getting interviewed on one of the morning news shows and wanting to reach through my TV... by jlmanager at 01/24/10 11:50PM x your's is the only long post that I read. if you wrote a book...i would buy it. seriously. by chekit at 01/25/10 12:43AM x We are going to try to get together Monday nite before lectures. Try to pencil us in your busy schedule. by rosie at 01/25/10 8:37AM x your mom said you were coming up... but i dont remember when... so let me know and we will plan fun things to do. =]

by ashlee at 01/26/10 4:25PM x I've thought about that so many times too! I mean, when things go so smoothly for me, that it must mean I'm weak and can't handle too many trials. But, at the same time, I'm so happy that it's not been a difficult life for me! by millychloe at 02/01/10 8:42PM x So, where are you now? I've totally lost track of you. Glad you're enjoying EH's class. I'm sure it's great!

I think Greek Orthodox is what R's grandmother is. Not sure why it appeals to "intelligent" people. Hmmmm . . . . by praguer at 02/10/10 9:21AM x Ezekiel 16. Changed. My. Life. Even if it is a little gross...but then, sin is rarely pretty. by heidiw at 02/12/10 11:17PM x I love your pic up there!!!! :) by momw at 02/20/10 9:16AM x

Confessions of a College Graduate (long, and don't say I didn't warn ya)

at 12/17/09 1:27PM *

- I barely made it

- I wouldn’t have made it, were it not for a merciful God, a whole lotta merciful professors, a crying shoulder or two, and a whole lotta prayers

- one of my favorite professors, Dr. William Morris, died of a heart attack in his home while watching the USF football game against Wofford. I'm glad they won that day...

- Dr. William Morris was a really good friend of another favorite professor, Dr. Rosalie Baum

- I was in the same graduation ceremony as former-USF quarterback Matt Groethe, and that's pretty cool.

- I want to go to grad school in the northeast, but not for another ten years

- I want to eat Swiss cheese and Swiss chocolate in Switzerland on top of a Swiss mountain

- …I am still writing thank you notes from my birthday and graduation…

- I am applying for a position as a reading teacher here in Florida before my life is a blank slate in May!

- I have realized that I am a flighty, commitment-phob. I want to go everywhere, try everything, and date every diverse, amazing guy I’ve ever met without ever having to break-up or get married…which is proving difficult, but which is also why having a handful of guy friends and occasionally going on casual dates without "being in a relationship" is so wonderful...

- I have a crush on Alexander Scourby’s voice, specifically reading the KJV, more specifically the book of Ezekiel

- I am reading Billy Collin’s latest, "Ballistics," and boy, do I love the word "ballistics"

- I am so glad I learned about Nellie Bly, Christina Rossetti, Anne Bradstreet, and other amazing women writers and non-writers alike.

- Rosalie Baum, one of my all-time favorite professors of my college career, has convinced me that Benjamin Franklin was a scumbag, an accomplished scumbag, yes, but still a scumbag who oddly enough reminds me of someone I used to know...

- I might go to the year-end studies with Jessica Gill…and that’s exciting!

- …so much chocolate…

- I need to work out, drink water, and eat some vegetables…

- I am moving out of this apartment soon. I hate moving!

- I am so immensely blessed beyond what I deserve. It is kind of over-whelming.

　

　

---------

　

Now, for your reading pleasure, I present to you my college career, by the numbers…

11…apartmentmates

(Audrey Cleveland Boring, Katie Brewer, Sommer Klein, Lauren Lovelady Bingham, Charity Gibson, Alison Konrad, Emily Ferenzce, Lauren Smith, Ashlee Redd, Sam Stark, and Cassie Churchill)

10…collections of poetry/books on writing poetry and fiction

9…USF chocolates from Aunt Holly

8…bibles

(tan (and lost forever) NASB, brown travel NKJV( a gift from lectures freshman year), black fake bonded leather ESV (a favorite), blue group- study NIV from Dad (such a sweet surprise!), Big Blue Study NASB (my baby) , red NKJV for studying with Daniel, the purple travel ESV from Sam, and my most recent love, the KJV on Audio CD from graduation! (Thank you, friends and family!)

7…shoulder dislocations; painful, expensive, humbling, blessings!

6.5…years of school

5…different jobs

(FC Library, Hallmark, Rooms to Go, Northgate Lincoln Mercury, Skecher’s)

4…different apartments

(Park Avenue, Sand Pebble Riverchase, The House, Marisa Court Riverchase)

3…digital cameras, congregations, and schools

(Digital cameras: hp 4.0 mega-pixel from Dad, Olympus 8.0 mega-pixel from Dad, and 10.0 megapixel Fujifilm from Dad )

(Congregations: Antioch, Washington, and Valrico…)

(Schools: Florida College, Warren County Community College, and the University of South Florida…)

2…states, concussions, cars, laptops, classes on feminism, and broken hearts

(States: Florida, New Jersey)

(Concussions: project graduation, volleyball with Jared Dickey)

(Cars: 1992 Blue/Green Oldsmobile Achieva from Granddaddy and Neenee

2002 Red Chevy Prism from Dad with an "I love Taco Bell" bumper sticker from Mom)

(Laptops: one gateway with a $600 off coupon from graduation, the rest supplied by Mom and Dad, and one Compaq with saved money from work that's still in good shape!)

(Feminism classes: one with Robin Boylorn and Brian Messerli,

one ridiculous online one where I blasted abortion on the discussion board and won!)

(Broken hearts: we won’t go into those… ha!)

and

1…thankful, humbled heart.

Thank you, Lord!!

　

That’s a whole lot of numbers!!!!

edit | delete I read it all! Very sweet :) I hope you do get to travel everywhere and see everything! Congratulations on your graduation. by krazykrizn at 12/17/09 1:56PM x :) I just love you more than you know. by anna6689 at 12/17/09 2:59PM x How many cell phones? I'm also interested that you went through 3 cameras with your dad being the gracious giver! by theaunt at 12/17/09 3:23PM x Reminds me of what David Owen said in a chapel talk at FC a few years ago. "Some folks graduate summa cum laude, some magna cum laude, some cum laude, and some, like him, graduate 'Thank you laude.'" Cute. Congratulations. by kodiakmaster at 12/17/09 4:16PM x Enjoyed reading this -- I can see how you earned your degree in "Creative Writing." However did you get all the numbers to come out right? Sure was glad we got to share in your celebration! by themother at 12/18/09 10:26PM x I remember the concussion from playing volleyball. I loved that Oldsmobile; thank you for all of the times you let me borrow it when we were at FC:)

Congratulations, girlie! by dixiechick at 12/19/09 12:59AM x Congratulations!!

Wow ... I remember that ^^ concussion too ... I was scared for you! by aprilstarr at 12/19/09 2:14PM x Glad you had a good graduation. Sorry that we weren't able to come. Good luck on the reading teacher app! by jlmanager at 12/21/09 8:03PM x Leah! So happy for you on your graduation! Sounds like you have many fun times! I think of you often and miss ya girl! P.S. I surely hope that someone has told you that after your shoulder becomes dislocated more than once you pretty much need surgery to keep it from becoming dislocated again. Bummer, I know but as an xray tech I've seen it soo many times. Very painful! Love ya! by rachelliz at 12/23/09 10:15PM x We missed you this weekend. Hope you stayed busy enough to make it worthwhile! by themother at 12/28/09 11:45PM x i remember the concussion by Jared well... ha

i topped you in the number of roomies.... i've had 12 thoughout college. =] by ashlee at 12/30/09 3:25PM x

　

Did you know that June is the happiest month of the year?

I love you, June. You've always been so good to me...

---

Here are some passages I've been meditating on lately:

Matthew 12:46-50, "He was still speaking to the crowds when suddenly His mother and brothers were standing outside wanting to speak to Him. 47 Someone told Him, "Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to You." 48 But He replied to the one who told Him, "Who is My mother and who are My brothers?" 49 And stretching out His hand toward His disciples, He said, "Here are My mother and My brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven, that person is My brother and sister and mother."

Redefining family. What, oh what, does it truly mean?

---

Also, Luke 7:47

"Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little."

This verse has always confused me. Why would someone who SINS so much LOVE so much?

But I look at people who have "easy" lives because they don’t sin as much, and it seems true.

(I use quotes around easy because it could be due to my own misconceptions or lack of awareness. The people who seem to have the easiest lives often have the most difficult of pasts! Oh the joy that God can bring to those with difficulties!)

Those who have sinned more, made more mistakes, and messed up their lives, do, somehow, seem to love more deeply than those who have not.

Is it because of the depth of the well of forgiveness that they are now able to drink from?

Is it because they appreciate God's blessings of obedience, given their full awareness of what it is like to live without those blessings?

Or does God provide a gift of sorts to the most wretched of sinners?

A gift of abundant love that those who haven't "sinned much" will never know?

Sometimes I wonder...

---

I'm also reminded of the parable of the vineyard workers in Matthew 20:1-16.

I'm sure those workers who put in a mere one hour were extremely, and I do mean EXTREMELY, grateful.

---

Blessings as of lately:

-my friend and co-worker collapsed at work last Thursday morning. She was young, married, full of life. (She also LOVED Jimmy Eat World as much as me!)

She stopped breathing for ten minutes.

Yeah.

It was beyond scary.

Prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed.

A few days ago she was talking and laughing with her family in the ICU. She is expected to make a full recovery. Praise God!

-relief from anxiety attacks. This also took a lot of prayer. I never, in a million years, thought this would be something I would struggle with. I FINALLY feel like I've got it under control. Praise God!

-working with the two and three year olds for Vacation Bible School.

The first night I MIGHT have been talking about birth control...

(Only if you're not going to love/discipline your kids!)

Now, my heart is a melted puddle of goo for those little ones.

I'm hoping to adopt another Jordan.

(Jordan is this little girl who I taught when she was super little, and even today at age 6, she has never stopped adoring me. She is such a precious gift!)

In other news, I feel like I'm too busy. I come home every night and maybe have a half an hour to shower/eat/ready myself before i book it out the door.

I haven't been getting home until 10:30 at the earliest.

It's good/bad.

Do you feel me?

---

I leave for New Jersey on Friday afternoon.

I love New Jersey in late June/early July!

Actually, I just love New Jersey in general...

---

I stole this from Megan Wiley Ciampa's Blogger blog.

I'm kind of in love with this quote:

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are… Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect Tomorrow. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in my pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return." - Mary Jean Iron

Here's to the precious "normal" days of June...

edit | delete Great thoughts! Favorite part = you + new jersey + Friday = awesome! by momw at 06/22/11 11:48AM x

On Going Forward

at 06/10/11 11:21AM

I have no idea where the expression "going forward" came from, in reference to "going forward" during the invitation song at a church service or immediately following it.

I imagine it was coined as preachers, teachers, and spiritual leaders invited those whose hearts were being pricked by the gospel to "come forward" to be baptized, or to request the prayers of the congregation.

Members probably coined it.

I can just hear them:

"Oh, look! So and so is going forward. Let’s pray for him!"

Or something like that…

---

Going forward has always seemed somewhat strange to me, not for those wanting to be baptized, but for those who are already Christians.

A variety of reactions to the situation would surface, depending on my age and spiritual maturity level.

The reactions would range, quite embarrassingly from:

"Oh yeah. She NEEDED to go forward. It’s about time. Let’s see if she lives up to this…"

to "Why is HE going forward? He’s a spiritual beast!"

to "Well, good night. We ALL struggle. The whole congregation should be sitting up there confessing their sins!"

to "Wow. That message touched me as well."

to "Talk about feeling guilty! I need to be going forward more than SHE does!"

to "I had no idea this person had any problems whatsoever. I really need to get to know him better and talk to him more."

to "Huh. I have no idea what to make of this…"

Well, I can now view this whole "going forward" thing from a different perspective.

Because for the first time in my Christian walk, I "went forward" after a Sunday night singing service.

---

I won’t get into to the specifics of why I did it.

I had almost done it months ago, but chickened out due to it "not being that big of a deal."

I mean, people were falling away and sick and dying and suffering!

No one even knew about or was being affected by my sins. (or so I thought)

I could keep it between God and me…(or so I thought)

I had been struggling for a really long time with some things. I would go back and forth in my mostly mental and emotional struggles.

But then my struggles turned physical.

And of course, all along, spiritual.

They were affecting every part of me, even though people did not notice (or so I thought.)

---

Enter (providential?) panic attacks.

Nightmares.

Lessons on earth-shattering bible passages.

And a simple song service, where someone encouraged us to really focus on the words of the song.

I started crying towards the end.

I remember thinking, "I wonder if I should go forward and just ask for the prayers of the congregation? No, I don’t want to draw that much attention to myself. No, it’s not that big of a deal. No, other people are going through far worse things than this."

Enter an invitation about the fountain of God.

Enter the same invitation song that was sung the night of my baptism.

That did it.

I grabbed a box of tissues and walked to the front and sat down crying.

It was everything you’d think it’d be for the person doing it.

A little scary, a little awkward, a little shameful.

I told the elder who came to talk to me what needed to be said.

There were prayers.

There were looks of sympathy.

Or probably, more accurately, there were looks of empathy.

People stood in line to hug me and tell me that they would be praying for me.

It was kind of awkward, but mostly comforting.

Naturally, the people who are closest to me cried with me and hugged me the tightest.

People told me that they had felt the same things and struggled with the same things.

I talked about it a little more.

I didn’t like the person I was becoming.

It’s so hard when you feel like the same awful thing is happening over and over again.

I felt so connected to the WOMEN in my congregation.

I know men will probably never understand how two women can feel so much and cry so much together.

But God gave me such a gift in my fellow "super-emotional" Christian sisters.

---

Days after I went forward, I literally felt the power of God.

I felt like I was riding on a wave of prayers.

Conversations that I never dreamed would take place occurred.

Personal prayers were answered.

The prayers I DIDN"T EVEN KNOW I NEEDED were answered.

I mercifully received some closure in some of things I had been struggling with.

I received beautiful cards from my brethren, letting me know they were thinking and praying for me.

And the funny thing is, I already knew it. :)

But still, they were a beautiful, tangible reminder. :)

---

So, I said all that to say this:

You don’t have to "go forward" if you’re struggling.

---

But I have to tell you this, from personal experience.

"Going forward" certainly helped me "go forward" in my own life.

And maybe THAT’S where they got the expression.

So, if you ever feel like you need to "go forward," then, well...

　

　

　

　

　

　

I highly recommend it.

edit | delete Great thoughts. HUGS by curlie at 06/10/11 12:14PM x These are wonderful thoughts from a tender heart and easily broken spirit. Thanks. by gsh2 at 06/10/11 4:48PM x I'm also struck by the strength given to you by other women in the congregation. I think strong, loving and empathetic women are a key to any congregation's strength. by gsh2 at 06/10/11 4:52PM x *hugs* You have a beautiful heart. I'll be praying too. Love the image of "riding on waves of prayer"... isn't that a wonderful blessing God has given us? The strength we can draw from prayers of our brethren on our behalf is something we all need. by heatheronthehill at 06/11/11 9:51AM x Leah, this post really touched me. I have had the same thoughts when others "went forward" and I have needed to go myself twice (perhaps more) and, as you were, I was incredibly blessed by the love and support I received each time. I think that this is what is meant by "confess your faults one to another and pray for one another" -- either publicly or privately. We fall down on this, I'm afraid, because we fear to make ourselves vulnerable. When we make ourselves vulnerable to the Lord and to His will, though, it is always a blessing to us and to others -- I'm sure others were blessed by your example of humility and perhaps some will receive the courage to follow and be blessed as you were. Love you! by themother at 06/11/11 8:31PM x praying for you my dear friend

by the_mom at 06/18/11 4:05PM x

The blood of Christ

at 06/09/11 10:22AM

It was getting gross.

Tears, snot, grimacing, audible whimpers.

I felt like people were looking at me.

"I just don't understand the second death. I mean, what's the real difference between me and that non-Christian that I love so deeply? A few missed prayers? A difficult trial or two? It makes me feel so sad that there are SO many lost..."

"It IS sad. It's a tragedy. The greatest tragedy..."

"I just feel like I understand better now, you know? I mean, I almost gave up on God. It was the closest thing to Hell I've ever known. To me, that IS Hell. Feeling such a separation from God.

*More crying* Remind me, what is it that makes Christians so different from non-Christians?"

"The blood of Christ.

That's it.

That's all.

The blood of Christ."

The blood of Christ...

　

edit | delete

Can I please do this every day?

So, I have now served my first term as a juror.

And I absolutely loved it.

It was tense.

It was interesting.

It was invigorating.

Oddly enough, we, the jury, unanimously voted the defendant as not-guilty.

The evidence, or lack thereof, among other things, made it clear.

I was elected as the foreman, so that was pretty cool.

---

One of the defense attorneys looked exactly like a bald Keanu Reeves.

This did not sway my decision.

---

I promise.

edit | delete What was the defendant not guilty of? by theaunt at 08/23/11 5:00PM x Yes, once it's over you can speak of it! by apbooklover04 at 08/23/11 5:41PM x

　

jury duty

at 08/22/11 5:00PM

I felt like one of those cows in the Temple Grandin movie; there was a lack of communication as to what would happen to me (I being the ignorant cow who was unfamiliar with legal speak), a distinct feeling that I was number rather than a person, long lines, long wait times, and that dreadful feeling of being sized up for various sensitivities and weaknesses.

I absolutely HATE that I can't talk about the case.

As you may already know from reading this blog, I REALLY like to talk, both with the spoken word and with the written word.

---

The silence is almost torture.

---

When it was my turn to be questioned (to see if I would qualify as a juror or not,) I may or may not have been rather...firm. I may or may not have implied that I have no tolerance for lying and that I will not be manipulated or intimated.

The question was asked of the group of jurors, "Does anyone have to deal with manipulative people?" Or something...

(Oh, don't ask me exactly what I said...)

Right after that, they picked me.

I like being picked!

It is SO unlike gym class in elementary school.

Dodge ball.

I'd really like to know who invented it...

...if only I had the upper body strength to nail them...

...if only...

---

　

The defendent smiled at me when I walked back into the courtroom, which spoke to the part of me that wanted to scream "guilty!"

However, don't worry, I know that he is innocent until proven guilty, that the burden of proof lies with the state of Florida, and that the decision I make must be based on evidence and evidence alone.

---

It's kind of fun.

I'm planning on wearing my black power suit tomorrow.

Don't you smile at me! edit | delete whoa! I was totally ignorant of your impending week. I never get picked. Danny, however, was once a foreman of his jury. by theaunt at 08/22/11 6:33PM x Being on a jury is definitely an interesting (and even fun) experience. And yes, it's torture to not be able to talk about it. My case involved sexual molestation. by apbooklover04 at 08/22/11 8:36PM x I have never been on a jury...never want to be... by momw at 08/23/11 9:01AM x I was called to be on a grand jury once. They had plenty of people by the time I arrived (at the last second, of course), so I have never served. I wasn't disappointed. Hope you have fun! by praguer at 08/23/11 12:30PM x

God made trees

at 08/18/11 8:56AM

Isn't this pretty?

Now I just need to figure out how to embed photos within a blog entry...

Oh, hi Leah.

Welcome to 2011...

*sigh* edit | delete Leah, we took a picture out in Washington that looked like a "rainbow" tree. The tree had all kinds of colors in the bark. Love you! by themother at 08/18/11 8:42PM x I assume you have read the poem "Trees" by Joyce Kilmer? Your blog title reminded me of it. by themother at 08/18/11 8:42PM x Hello! Hope to see you Saturday! Hope we can get it together to get there by Saturday!! by theaunt at 08/19/11 12:12AM x Hey Leah. Get yourself a Flickr or Photobucket account (or some other photo hosting account). When you upload images, they will provide you with a number of links for posting to Facebook, Twitter, etc., including one for HTML. Just copy that and paste it wherever you want your photo to go, and you're done.

It's easy:

　

One thing to keep in mind. When you type after your picture, you might need to add two paragraph breaks [two Enter's] after the HTML code because for some reason it seems to absorb one and otherwise your following text sits right next to the picture's edge, like this. by troutlikethefish at 08/22/11 7:03AM x

08/10/11 10:15AM

Pap passed away early this morning.

Please keep my family in your prayers.

Thank you!

edit | delete *hugs* Praying, Leah. by heatheronthehill at 08/10/11 10:39AM x We love you Leah. by theaunt at 08/10/11 10:45AM x I'm sorry. I am praying for you all! by momw at 08/10/11 11:29AM x (hug) by jlmanager at 08/10/11 12:05PM x You've got prayers! Lots of them. by heidiw at 08/10/11 6:26PM x

08/05/11 3:10PM

"People usually fail when they are on the verge of success.

So give as much care to the end as to the beginning."

– Lao-Tzu

　

　

If you're reading this, please pray for my family if you wouldn't mind.

My Pap, Herman Cleveland, has been suffering from Parkinson's and Dementia for the past four years now. He had some blood vessel (that I can't remember the name of) burst in his brain on Wednesday, and he is currently unconscious and not going to come out of it.

He could die in the next minute, or stay like this for weeks.

Please pray.

Thank you! edit | delete Oh no! Leah, I had no idea! Praying for your entire family. *hugs* by heatheronthehill at 08/05/11 3:37PM x HUGS and prayers by curlie at 08/05/11 4:19PM x I will pray for all of you by momw at 08/06/11 3:48PM x

on Luke 7:47; and on how I love the "bad" kids

at 08/03/11 8:51AM

This quarter I'm currently helping to teach the 5 and 6 year olds about the Psalms.

It is all so complex in its simplicity.

---

The six year olds understand so much more than the five year olds. It's amazing what a difference a year can make!

---

My kids are pretty well-behaved, but a few of them have their "moments."

Mateo, in particular, used to groan and whine and drag his feet about doing anything.

It was frustrating, to say the least.

But then, he decided to behave.

He got used to the routine, and he behaves most of the time now!

He is one of my favorite kids. I never know what to expect from him, but I now know all the good that he is capable of and I hold him to that standard.

When he behaves, it makes me feel happier than when any other kid behaves.

I just love him.

There's a sweetness about him that is just irrestible to me.

I love picking on him and praising him and reprimanding him when he tests the waters of rebellion again.

---

Sunday night, another little boy I used to teach, Colin Veyon, was sitting a few pews in front of me, with his little girlfriend, Rachel, and her family.

Something emboldened him to stand up in the pew, turn completely around, look straight at me, and smile that mischievous smile.

He SO knows better that!

I hissed his name and put on my death stare until he sat back down.

After services, his three-year old self barreled toward me and he wrapped his arms around me in the sweetest hug.

　

...I completely melted.

---

I have to wonder how God views his most rebellious sinners. Is this how He sees us and loves us?

Is this what Luke 7:47 is talking about?

quote love

at 08/02/11 8:55AM

"There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls."

- Howard Thurman edit | delete

Short sentences, sporatic thoughts.

at 07/29/11 4:58PM

I just found out that the Mercury brand of vehicles is being phased out as of this year, 2011.

This makes me feel sad.

Mercury owners are really cute and endearing.

(I should know, I worked at their dealership for over 2 years.)

My former employer, Northgate Lincoln Mercury, had to change their name to "Parks Lincoln of Tampa."

It sounds so...cold...and corporate...

Did I mentoin that it is SO sad? :(

---

Today is National Lasagna Day.

My mom makes the best lasagna.

She stopped making it soon after she discovered Stouffer's Frozen Lasagnas.

I'm glad she gave me the recipe.

It is so good.

Nothing weird in it, and it's never chewy.

I hate chewy lasagna...

　

---

Every time I visit Henderson, I end up having a somewhat awkward conversation about Facebook with someone my Dad's age.

It is a different person every time.

And it is Oh-So-Weird.

But kind of funny/sweet...

Last night, Ronald Drumm asked me how my car was doing.

He knew from Facebook.

I asked him, "Are you Facebook stalking me?"

He's nice. :)

---

I was chosen out of my entire (though it is small) department to get a 5% raise at work!

It is such a blessing.

But I'm supposed to keep it a secret!

(From my department. Not from pleonast...)

---

I love the Dickeys...

---

I love giving guidance to people in their early twenties.

They are so cute.

I hope I steer them right!

---

I love it when guys who have a crush on me pray about it.

---

Not that I can tell or anything...

　

---

I still love you, pleonast.

I love how your community is small and lurking.

I love how you've grown up with me, and how you've helped me to grow up.

---

I love that I'm still the same.

But that I've changed...

---

I'm like cheese...(fill in the blank.)

---

True or false?

A food should not be eaten if it cannot be made better with chocolate or cheese.

I'd say true...

---

I'm going to prepare a delicious recipe tonight to share with my brethren.

I love making stuff.

Stuff.

How's that for a saavy word choice?

And doesn't the word "saavy" sound like the word "savory"?

It's saavy to use the word "savory" in a sentence, especially if it all involves food...

I love the way "all" and "involve" sound together in a sentence.

But I can't remember what that type of slant rhyme? is called...

---

I love food...

I try not to get fat...

---

I feel like I'm rebelling against every English teacher I've ever had.

Speaking of English teachers, something made me want to google my favorite high school English teacher.

She wrote a book!

She is so cool.

I have a picture of me and her together.

I was 18 and she was 28.

She's 36 now.

She looks exactly the same,

but with contacts instead of Lisa Loeb butterfly glasses.

I miss those.

They were cute.

---

I want to sing more.

I think Aaron Clayton hates me.

Not really.

But kind of...

---

I'm not even sure if anyone still reads this thing, but I love it so much.

I still need to go gold...

Private comments are so much fun!

---

I love this uncoventional life.

---

Are Christians even SUPPOSED to have conventional lives?

---

Chew on that for a while...

---

　

"Instead, share in suffering for the gospel, relying on the power of God,

who has saved us and called us with a holy calling,

not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace,

which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began."

　

2 Timothy 1:8b-9

　

edit | delete I love pleonast too. I just wish I could come up with interesting topics other than what is going on in my life. I love your randomness! I also love gold so I can write privately! I have never thought about the cheese or chocolate question....it is something I will have to ponder! There is one dish that comes to mind that I can't imagine with either. It is sad that Mercury is phasing out. I've seen that happen in my lifetime, but never with a car I am currently using! I had someone with small children ask me for advice. I felt so old. Which is worse in feeling old, being asked advice or knowing the answer? I was shocked when the answer came to me so easily. Yikes! Sometimes my homemade lasagna is chewy but it's because the noodles didn't cook properly. Danny likes half beef/half sausage combo. I don't think I made it this past winter. It is definitely not a summer project. The house gets so hot. Interesting that Lasagna Day is in the middle of summer! It should be a winter holiday! Off to hear Buddy Payne. I think i covered most of your topics. Please keep writing on pleo. I feel I get to know people much better on here. The lurkers are friendlies! Happy Lord's Day! :) by theaunt at 07/31/11 8:24AM x AH! Leah. I really wish our homes were more geographically near, because we would hang out. Pretty sure about that. Sometimes I get the distinct impression (when I remember to read your blog, that is) that we are somehow sharing part of the same brain, because I think alot of the same things you do. And it's beautiful. I love you! Stay strong, my sister! by heidiw at 07/31/11 4:26PM x I love your sporadic, disjointed thoughts. I find myself smiling and even laughing one minute and then thinking soberly the next! That's just like you! Mostly laughing but with sober pauses here and there! by gsh2 at 08/01/11 8:40AM x aw, I love that I make you laugh, Dad. :) by leahhallnoats at 08/01/11 9:07AM x I just had one of those jaw-dropping moments in which I was amazed to learn that you were praying for/about me. I'm now super curious as to how I could have made it into your prayer time. :) I'm really thankful for it, though! I can definitely use that sort of encouragement right now! :) Thank you! by heidiw at 08/01/11 5:44PM x Heidi, I honestly can't remember! Although I definitely lurk on your blog from time-to-time and am encouraged by it! Perhaps the Holy Spirit was interceding for us! In some ways it is frustrating that we don't really know exactly how God works in our lives, sometimes it's just really humbling/powerful/wonderful that He does. I am so glad that He does through His word and through the power of prayer. :) by leahhallnoats at 08/02/11 9:04AM x *to consider that He does. by leahhallnoats at 08/02/11 9:05AM x

one year ago today...

at 07/22/11 4:26PM

My favorite Mormon friends Elder Savage and Elder Abbott knocked on our apartment door, beginning my journey with studying with Mormons.

I don't know if any of my regular blog readers remember, but I loved it SO much.

It may or may not have been a slight obsession...

----

I'm still emailing with one of the members that agreed to visit church with me and who "admitted" that he "felt the Spirit there."

He usually takes about two months to respond, and at this point the conversation has become so...complex? that two of his "friends" in Utah who also "care about me" are a part of the email discussion with large gaps of time in between.

Pray for him and his family, and for the Utah lurkers who are now part of the discussion.

Liz never contacted me, but who knows what may have happened between then and now. Please pray!

Elder Abbott still has another year to go in his mission. He is someone I have a lot of hope for because of his obvious frustrations and sheer stubborness. Pray for him too.

A year later, and I very much still love and pray for my Mormons! (Though sadly, not as much since I don't see them every day anymore.)

I miss them... edit | delete I think you've become somewhat of an expert on Mormonism.

by gsh2 at 07/25/11 10:33PM x

T minus Tallahassee

at 07/19/11 1:29PM

You know, I have no idea what the phrase "T-minus" even means. I think it has something to do with time (maybe military time?) but I'm not really sure.

It just sounded cool to say "T minus Tallahassee" because of the alliteration of the "T's." I love letter repetion and word play. I don't understand how you could NOT love it...

---

I didn't have play practice this Saturday, and I knew it would probably be the only Saturday until after Labor Day that I didn't have play practice , so I quite randomly hopped into my little red 2002 Chevy Prism and took off for Tallahassee to visit Katie Kelley this weekend.

(You know, in case you didn't get a chance to stalk me on facebook...)

I'd been meaning to do it ever since January but things kept coming up for either her or me. As spontaneous or (irresponsible?) as it was, I decided if I didn't do it this past weekend, I probably never would.

---

I got stuck in the first really bad traffic jam of my life. There was a nasty, nasty accident and traffic was backed up for four miles. Our cars didn't move an inch for a solid twenty minutes. If I didn't have to use the bathroom, it would have been kind of fun. Really, though...

I called people on my cell phone and watched "Meet the Robinson's" on my IPOD while waiting...I love that movie!

---

I arrived in Tallahassee around 11:40 on Friday evening. Both Katie and Mary greeted me wearing handkerchiefs in their hair looking very student-like.

I love their apartment. It is very open and spacious. Also, they have a poarch and this absolutely gorgeous tree that I quickly developed a crush on...

---

Katie was working on one of her big final projects where she had mapped out an innovative health care facility. It looked so tedious it kind of made me want to die. Not really. But kind of...

Katie is insanely talented!

---

It was really good to sleep in, catch up with Mary, and catch up with Katie while she continued to work on said tedious project. I love chatting with her about spiritual things because she is so zealous and yet open-minded, and yet cautious as well. A good mix if I do say so myself...

I was talking one of my friend's ears off the other night, and he asked me something that stopped me in my tracks. I was talking about a spiritual decision I had made a while ago, and he said, "So is that what you go by? Your conscience?" Because I had let my decision be swayed pretty heavily by my conscience in the end.

So, I decided to study about it, because I didn't know how to answer him. My conclusion after studying is that you most definitely can go by your conscience, but only when combined with the word of God.

Try this:

1. Go to biblegateway.com

2. Choose the version that matches your favorite book version that you're using right now.

3. Get out a pen

4. Type the word "conscience" into the key word search.

5. Prepare to be educated, humbled, and amazed!

I shared my findings with Katie.

She appreciated my findings.

I love her.

---

When Katie was done with one of her projects, we went out to Chipotle. Then, she took us to the cutest little market I've ever seen in my life, appropriately dubbed "Fresh Market" where we each got GIANT extremely aesthetically-pleasing cupcakes to enjoy during the final Harry Potter movie!

It was THE best cupcake I've ever had IN MY LIFE. I couldn't finish it, but it was amazing. I felt really fat and happy afterwards...now, mostly just fat. AHHHH.

After the movie we came back home and went to bed.

---

I loved visiting with the brethren in Thomasville, GA. It is a tiny, cute, and friendly congregation. Had an enjoyable lunch at Granddaddy's BBQ for lunch with the Wickersheim's.

(I still can't pronounce their name correctly.)

Katie really loves that family and so do I! Coulter and Lauren are awesome. Their girls could not possibly get any cuter. And it was good.

---

Got back in time to be late to Sunday night services. I was wiped. But it was good.

---

Yesterday I was in such a post-trip funk it was SO not even funny. I love travelling and my travelling is pretty much done for the summer. Sad day. Sad day, indeed.

---

What do YOU do for post-trip funks?

---

Also, isn't the phrase "post-trip funk" incredibly fun to say?

It sounds like the name of a rock awesome music album or something...

　

　

　

edit | delete I always thought "Debauchery" would be a good name for a punk rock band, but I don't tell this to everyone. What an awesome trip! I did a few of those while still in college and though worn out, I was refreshed mentally. by theaunt at 07/19/11 5:12PM x Did you meet anyone named Bassett while in T'ville? They're good friends of my family. I haven't been there in years.

My only suggestion for the post-trip funk is to plan another trip. Maybe to Prague? And I like that term too! :)

Now I want a cupcake. A really good one. by praguer at 07/21/11 9:37AM x We live in Dothan, you were oh so close to us!!

by krazykrizn at 07/21/11 2:35PM x Robert will have a car! We felt he will need it. The credit for debauchery goes to Buddy Payne. He was the preacher at Temple Terrace while I was there five years. For a while he went on a little kick where he used the word "debauchery" about every week. He would raise his hand every time and make a motion which amused us friends. He is so awesome! Someday I will show you the debauchery wave. ) by theaunt at 07/21/11 9:31PM x I deleted your Buddy Payne comment only because it wasn't private! I am excited that he is spending Sunday, July 30th here and preaching three times! Yay! He was the preacher when I was single, the one while I dated, the one when I married and the one when I was expecting Robert. I remember the sermon he preached just before Robert was born was way tooooooo long. I remember staring at him and thinking that if he could read minds, he would stop. BTW he cannot read minds. I was dying and we were on the second row! But now I remember it fondly. by theaunt at 07/22/11 8:45AM x Love your trip reports. You ought to be a travel writer. We're here at Leadership camp in Alabama with grandaddy, aunt Cherry & John, John David and a bunch of fantastic people. by gsh2 at 07/25/11 10:34PM x

falling in love again

at 07/11/11 1:32PM

Seth McDonald started this bible reading group on facebook that I joined, and I have loved it so much so far for several reasons.

One reason is that we are flying through the New Testament.

I love reading about the life of Jesus. He fully embodies what it means to be in the world, but not of the world.

One of the things that I love about the "human" Jesus was His ability to be a part of the culture he lived in. He worked in this world, spoke in parables that this world understood, and sat and ate with tax-collectors and sinners.

And yet…he lived in such a holy, radical way.

He was unexpectedly outspoken at times, and unexpectedly silent at others.

He frequently went without a lot of sleep at night for staying up praying, and yet fell asleep on boats in the middle of nasty storms.

He often withdrew to be by Himself because he knew what was in man.

That really blows my mind.

He knew what was in man, and felt the need to withdraw from man.

And yet sometimes when He was so desperately seeking solitude and prayer, he would spontaneously be filled with love and compassion for the masses of people seeking His help that He would reach out and heal countless of them.

I’d imagine that many were ungrateful of who He was on earth.

All they knew was that He could feed them, surprise them, challenge them, and heal them.

When these people got what they wanted, I’m sure many of them left Him without worshipping Him or marveling at Who had literally walked into their presence, physically touched them, or knew the number of hairs on heads, even as the heads rushed passed Him in greedy haste.

I could’ve been one of the hasty, greedy ones, rushing past Him, and truthfully…I am.

---

I don’t know about you, but one of the most frustrating things about my relationship with God is that He is not a physical being.

I have His mind (1 Corinthians 2:16), His Spirit (1 John 4:13), and I am a part of the body of His church (1 Corinthians 12), but I just want to be able to hug Him, as Mary did after finding Him risen from the dead.

And yet Jesus told her to stop embracing Him.

Because He is so much more than the physical body that He had while on earth.

He is so much bigger than a meager human body can contain, and His actions as an extraordinary human being show that.

---

Oh to be like Him!

edit | delete What is interesting to me too is his relationships with those close. Though he would withdraw sometimes, sometimes he would want them to be with him. I think he had need for companionship. He wanted Peter, James and John nearby on several occasions. He loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. He asked the disciples to stay close by in the Garden of Gethsemane. Perhaps that helps us understand God's desire to be in a relationship with us.

Glad you are having a good study. Sometimes at quick study helps you to get a better overall vision. by theaunt at 07/11/11 2:08PM x Good point, Aunt Sara. How amazing it would have been to be considered one of Jesus close friends while He was on this earth. How amazing to be one of His closest friends especially now! :) by leahhallnoats at 07/12/11 9:32AM x Stamp thine own image deep on my heart! by momw at 07/12/11 1:22PM x This... encouraged me to read my Bible today. About Jesus. Thanks--glory to God!

And, O To Be Like Thee = close to my all-time favorite hymn. by rundrummerrun at 07/13/11 2:18PM x Sounds like a good study. I always like your thoughts and especially some of the phrases you use. by gsh2 at 07/13/11 9:43PM x Thanks, Dad. :) by leahhallnoats at 07/14/11 9:17AM x Ah, well, that was our plan, but it looks like God had other plans for us! We'll be staying here for at least another school year, I think. by hanban at 07/18/11 10:32AM x

above palm trees, so straight and tall

at 07/05/11 8:52AM *

Mom and I got up got up at 5am yesterday and read our bibles for an hour. Then we talked for an hour. Then she made breakfast for us and we ate, and that took about an hour.

I was at the airport all afternoon and all night, and the only place I really wanted to be was at New Jersey camp.

It used to be so strange to get back out into the real world after a week of camp. Every stranger would resemble someone from camp, and there was always disappointment when it wasn't someone from camp who you were blessed enough to run into at the airport.

But when it truly happened? Oh, the magic!

---

Will I ever fall out of love with New Jersey camp?

No, no I will not.

---

I miss huggy little kids and singing hymns to God under the stars which He made...

---

On a much...different note, a guy in YELLOW PANTS plopped himself down right next to me at the Charlotte airport.

Naturally, I turned to him and said, "....nice pants..."

To which he cheerfully replied, "Why, thank you."

Any guy who would wear yellow pants would be receptive to that kind of compliment, you know?

Oh.

and of course I got a picture...

---

Also, I saw fireworks from the plane last night. They looked really short and unimpressive compared to the red expanse of the sky...

That would be so cool to see the fireworks from the plane!! I love the Charlotte airport. It's a good airport, but I love it because it means that when I'm there, I'm near people that I love and I get to see them soon, or I'm about to go on an exciting adventure.

I miss you! by trefe_something at 07/05/11 9:45AM I thought I saw Juliet the camp nurse at Wal-mart tonight! It was so nice having you around for a few days. You always bring bright rays of sunshine with you when you come here! by heatheronthehill at 07/05/11 9:20PM I'm glad you got to spend that special time with your mom...she misses you. Nj camp misses you! And me? Well, I just think you are something really special ;) by momw at 07/05/11 11:21PM It was nice to see you. I sure hope we see you again in August. We will give you a call, or come look for us! It won't be long. by theaunt at 07/07/11 10:10AM It was so awesome seeing you at New Jersey camp last Sunday! :) by missy_my at 07/11/11 10:14AM I want to share your fun adventures, Leah! :) by hannahrunswithendurance at 07/11/11 10:57AM Would have loved to have had you all week at camp. Maybe next year. Thanks for all the help you were in getting ready! by gsh2 at 07/13/11 8:42PM

click.

at 06/30/11 3:44AM

I love when God does that!

(Through His word. Or His providence. Or His guiding Holy Spirit. Whatever you want to call it...) Me too!

Yay! I got to hug you last night! :D by heatheronthehill at 06/30/11 6:39AM

stolen

at 06/23/11 8:08AM

So, I'm a little blog happy lately. Shoot me.

---

Today, I found my old roomie's (Alison Konrad Greiving's) blog on the blogger network. It made me miss her big time. I was perusing blogs SHE follows and found something I loved and decided to steal. (It's okay as long as I give link credit, right? It's all so confusing to me...)

Anyway, here it is:

7 Ways to Stay Un-offended. This comes from the LIFE study from Church of the Highlands, written by Tricia Gunn.

　

1.) Take the lowest seat.

Consider everyone more important than yourself. Put the needs of others first before out own needs. Strive to please God, not yourself or others. Be the servant and don't expect anyone to pay attention to you.

　

2.) Always remain grateful for anything positive at all.

Gratefulness does something to our hearts. It keeps us contented and living in freedom.

　

3.) Be a giver and be surprised when anybody gives you anything or says something nice to you. Your attitude should be, "I'm going to give my life away. I'm going to be like Jesus. I'm a giver."

　

4.) Give others their freedom.

Don't control them. People need freedom to make their own decisions. Sometimes they make good ones, sometimes they make bad ones. Don't expect anything from them. Forgive them if they hurt you.

　

5.) Make decisions that promote life in others.

When someone offends you, decide to do something nice for them.

　

6.) Trust God to bring justice when an offense comes.

None of us really wants true justice or what we really deserve - we'd all rather have grace!

　

7.) Find refreshing in prayer, Bible study, and fellowship.

stolen from http://playing-grown-up.blogspot.com/

　

Very biblical and very helpful to me. :) I like this a LOT! by heatheronthehill at 06/25/11 7:05AM

When He allowed His little humans to invent photography?

The awe, beauty, and wonder that was opened up.

The re-discovery of all that God has created.

The freezing of time and the ability to live outside it, the ability to look into a moment, to feel its emotions, remember its joy.

Check out this little photo blog.

It's one of my favorites.

Enjoy! edit | delete

I think I'm getting sick. I do NOT want to be sick during my favorite month!

(It's October. Tell me you noticed that it's October! How could you not?)

Anyway, here's part I to the blog series.

Part I

To be able to be close to a woman, you must first know how be open to her.

Let’s say you’re in a restaurant – a sushi bar – and there are two women sitting next to where you and your friend are sitting. What most guys will do in this situation is spend the whole night trying to figure out what to say to the woman he finds attractive and how to get into a conversation with her.

Once he does get into that conversation with her, he smothers her. You know, he won’t make it casual and fun.

The key to being open with a woman is understanding that you need to give a woman the best 15 to 45 seconds of you . . . and then walk away.

So let’s break down this scene even more, which my client and I happened to be in by the way.

First 30 seconds

He and I were sitting in a sushi bar next to two women who were there enjoying a girls’ night out. So we opened them with casual conversation. We talked about food and about what they were ordering . . . for 30 seconds and that was it.

During that 30 seconds you speak with energy, conviction and confidence by saying something like "Hey that looks good!" or

"Can I have a bite of that?" (Note from Leah: I would be a little creeped out if a random guy asked me if he could have a bite of my food. Just saying…)

or "What are you getting?" Speak with a confident tone in your voice, not a whiny one.

So what you do is talk to her, then you ignore her. You basically turn around and continue talking to your friend. By doing that, you are building trust. You are building confidence in yourself, because if you can do it for 30 seconds now you will be able to do it for 60 seconds the next time.

Not only that – and this is really the key thing – but by the second and third time you talk to her you have become a familiar face. So then, all of a sudden, you’re not a stranger anymore. She will become very familiar and things with her will become very playful.

(Note from Leah: Some guys do this thing where they ignore you after you’ve been out and had a great time together.

While this is completely acceptable if you are trying to figure out how you feel about the girl, or multiple girls, or other things going on in your life,

it is NOT acceptable as a TACTIC to make the girl "wonder what’s going on" or as an attempt to make the girl feel insecure and want to chase after you to see what’s going on.

First of all, if you are being manipulative in this way, MOST girls are going to smell it like she smells your lack of showers.

Second of all, it only works with insecure girls. So, if you want an insecure girl chasing after you, then by all means, go for it...)

But back to the man blog…

Women like things to be playful. That’s what happened that night. When our order arrived, one of the women asked us "What is that?" We said "It’s Yellowtail." They said "Wow, that looks good!" At that point you can offer them a bite of your Yellowtail.

So by investing only 75¢ for an extra piece of Yellowtail for them, you get the opportunity to talk to them a little bit more about food while keeping things playful and very fun. Maybe you find out a little more about them by asking how many times they have been to that restaurant, or whatever might start the conversation again.

Stay Playful

What happens next – and it’s not important what you say but HOW you say it – is that things stay very playful. They will get something to eat next, and it becomes like a game. Every time they have a new plate of food, you say to them "What are you eating now? What is that?"

It’s now the third time you are talking to them, and what happens psychologically is that as you have these repeated little conversations they become more familiar and you become less nervous. You start seeing them as much less intimidating and you stop being intimidated by them. You start being able to communicate better with them, because you built up your communication with them in little bursts and each conversation got longer and longer.

What you talk about also gets more and more interesting every time you do it. Now you stop talking about food, and start finding out more interesting things about them. We found out, for example, that the women were there celebrating a birthday. Then you stop talking to them again.

It was on the fourth time we talked to them that things really started to heat up. We started talking to them about image, what we did for a living, what they did for a living, where we all were from, and about relationships.

Build Rapport/Connection

This is where things started getting deeper. This is where all the pertinent parts of a conversation that I always talk about come into play: the power of he talk / she talk, the power of asking the right personal questions, and how to get deep inside a woman.

This is really a simple kind of approach, and you haven’t done what most guys do when they go in to approach a woman. What most guys do is spend two hours trying to figure out what to say, instead of going in for the small conversations and walking away.

Every time you use small doses when initiating conversation with a woman, you are able to get more comfortable with her with each conversation. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable she will be. It becomes a very energy-driven thing, because if you go in all nervous then she’s going to be all nervous. If you go in comfortable, then she’s going to get comfortable.

That is why I always suggest, especially in a restaurant or in a coffee shop where women will be sitting down, to go in for conversation in small doses. It gives you the ability to really shine.

This is what happened that night with my client. By the fourth or fifth conversation, he was so comfortable that I was sitting there texting on my BlackBerry while he was comfortably talking to the women about his son.

They really enjoyed the conversation as well. They even mentioned how we were different from every other guy because we listened to them.

---

Note from Leah: Was this helpful? I know so many guys who are downright terrified of talking to pretty girls. It's really sad, especiallys since a lot of them are really good guys.

Try it out and let me know how it goes for ya!

Okay, you don't have to.

I realize it might be kind of embarassing...

but it would still be awesome... edit | delete I agree with you there. Oh btw, I'm used to my name being misspelled, so don't worry about it. I've had all kinds of weird spellings of my name :P by daddysgirl at 10/05/11 1:44AM x

　

introduction to dating tips for guys

at 10/03/11 12:05PM

I love men.

I always have, even when I was little.

I love how they think, act, and respond to the world in entirely different ways than I do.

I love their strengths, their vulnerabilities, and all of their oddities.

They fascinate me, make me feel beautiful, powerful, and feminine. They especially make me feel feminine, because they are anything but feminine, and I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

I've known several good, single, attractive Christian men who have the same exact struggles that good, single, Christian women have when it comes to the opposite sex.

The problems:

1. A great deal of good, single, Christian PEOPLE have no idea what they are doing when it comes to dating.

2. These same good, single, Christian PEOPLE get noticed by good, single, extremely attractive NON-Christian PEOPLE who DO know what they are doing when it comes to dating.

The Christian realizes just how attractive the people they date COULD be, but again, the attraction to Christians is limited due to a lack of experience or selection.

---

I found a blog written by a non-Christian that has such good advice for men.

I like him because he is respectful of women, seeks diligently to understand them, and seeks to help a brother out.

And, as I've already made clear, I love my brothers, clueless as they may be.

So, why don't I just date my clueless brothers? Because a huge part of attraction for women is having someone COMPETENT to take the lead in a dating relationship.

And if you know ME at all, you know I've never been one to settle...

---

So, I decided to edit his posts, make them more applicable/appropriate for Christian men, and to share them with you in a series. In a word document, all the content I edited came out to about 29 pages. (we had a few slow times at work, ha) and I would really like to share this information with you.

Since I'm a single girl, why in the world would I want to dole out this advice, knowing it could help a guy get a girl other than me?

It's simple.

A. I'm way more secure in myself than I used to be. If a guy doesn't pick me, I KNOW it is SO his loss!

(or our personalities would be disastrous together. either way...)

B. I love my brothers! And we desperately need more competent, manly men out there who understand, respect, and appreciate women!

C. I might want YOU to read it, because you might be a fantastic guy lurker who is someone who just needs a little help before he is absolutely perfect for me!

Or not.

I'll let you decide...

---

If you’re a girl, you should know that I personally found these articles extremely helpful in understanding men and why they behave the way they do as well. Don’t not read because of your gender!

---

Keep in mind, I did not write these, I only edited them for content. They are written from a guy's perspective, and no women were harmed in the publishing of these blogs.

---

If I missed something inappropriate, please let me know, and please forgive me!

Now, stay tuned until my next blog post to educate yourselves.

And enjoy.

Tell all your friends.

Or not.

I dare you to move

at 09/29/11 9:51AM *

This morning, the air feels absolutely perfect. The sky enveloped me as I stepped outside; with gradual glows, smears of clouds, and hues of color.

Lately, my heart refuses to stay inside of me.

It jumps out, lands gently on my head, and then melts and flows out from the rest of me.

---

We’re moving tonight.

---

Last night, the four of us sat on the soft carpet divvying up kitchen items, cleaning products, and freezer goods.

It’s funny how tangible objects can remind us of intangible memories.

- The over-zealous, over-flowing ice maker that was such an annoyance, but that gave us so many laughs.

- The frozen shrimp, reminding us of our Thanksgiving together WITH our crazy shrimp cocktail appetizers and WITHOUT our crazy wonderful families, as we became our OWN crazy wonderful family…

- The mysterious frozen meat that was brick hard, strange in color, and that stopped our progress for at least 20 minutes of giggling…

---

This morning, and quite deliciously, it is CofFREE day at your local 7-11, which means that from 7am until 11am, you can obtain a free medium coffee in celebration of National Coffee Day.

Or, if you’d like, you can hit up your local McDonalds or Krispy Kreme.

---

As I slowly swig my chocolate raspberry blend from 7-11, I am filled with gratitude, and dare I say it?

Love.

---

As I’m moving once again, I can’t help thinking about my last big move and everything that has happened since.

---

A long friendship ended.

---

I would be lying if I told you it didn’t feel like a soul amputation, but it was needed.

I have space, room to breathe, I’ve grown, and I’ve finally stopped listening to anything that tears me down as a person.

---

I am a person!

---

I deserve love and respect, if for no other reason then that God knew me before I was born, gave me the opportunity to come to earth, experience the utmost joy and pain, and marvel at who He is, so that I may praise Him all the more.

---

And every time I wake up and remember to taste of His goodness again, what can I do but praise Him?

How can I ever repay Him?

What words could ever do Him justice?

---

Another friendship ended in physical death, but I know that one is far from over.

He was such a blessing to me in his life, and he’s been such a blessing to me in his death.

With his sudden death came a new gratitude for the smallest and most marvelous things.

---

I never thought so much or so gratefully about the air flowing in and out of my lungs.

I never thought so much about my beating heart that I can feel and hear and marvel at.

I never thought so much about the blood that flows inside of me.

I never thought so much about the blood that was poured out for me.

---

I learned about forgiveness.

And what a long, glorious lesson!

---

I learned about the pain I’ve caused others out of my own ignorance and stubbornness.

I learned about the pain that can feel like sheer pleasure when you truly let it go and let God.

Let Him heal you.

---

And God DOES heal you.

When you allow Him to, He takes the person you were, and makes you into something far better.

"So I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, working away at the wheel. But the jar that he was making from the clay became flawed in the potter's hand, so he made it into another jar, as it seemed right for him to do." Jeremiah 18:3&4

---

Significantly, I stopped being afraid of people.

I learned how to get to know and, even love, exceptional people.

---

I did something that intrigued and scared me so much, and it ended up being a precious experience that although I don’t know if I’ll do it again, I will likely remember and cherish forever.

---

I gained seven pounds and then lost five.

I broke out like I’ve never broken out before.

---

I fought.

I broke DOWN.

I let my guard down.

And I laughed more than I have in a while.

---

I learned from a movie, and from life; that there is good and bad in everyone and that the only thing that matters is the good, and that you should fight for it with everything you have inside of you.

I learned that if there is anything in this world worth fighting for, it is the GOOD.

---

My Pap died.

---

I told my first lie, for the first time, in years.

---

I learned the true meaning of the word remorse.

---

This boy, who I met when I was thirteen and who fought for me harder than anyone has ever fought for me for 5 long years, had an older brother just die.

He was struck. And he was gone.

He was killed in a hit-and-run, and I didn’t find out about it until five months after the fact.

---

I had an opportunity to contact and hear from this now-man just a little bit; about things that I had been longing to talk to him about since he made me fall for him so many years ago.

---

I had prayed so hard for him at the ripe old age of sixteen.

I prayed that some day he would understand why I could never be with him.

I prayed that someday, I would be able to talk to him openly and honestly about God.

I prayed that someday, his stopped up ears would be open wide to listen.

Ten years later, I saw my prayers being answered.

There are no words.

---

To say that God is good always seemed so over-simplistic to me.

Honestly, it sometimes seemed hard to believe.

And it always seemed never quite enough.

To sum it all up.

---

But it does.

---

God is good.

---

And I can’t wait until this fleshly body stops separating me from HIM.

And I can’t wait to be with Him forever.

In the truest, most glorious sense

and with you.

One year ago today edit | delete Have fun moving! We won't call till this period of stress is over. I love your posts. I think when I first read them that they seem fascinating but completely disjointed, but then I look again and there is that common thread running close to the surface of your trust in God and reliance on him. You don't know how happy that makes us. by gsh2 at 09/29/11 2:53PM x ^Amen! by momw at 09/29/11 3:26PM x I really don't know what to say other than wow and Amen! by daddysgirl at 09/29/11 4:20PM x I agree with your dad! Email me with your new address, please! by themother at 09/30/11 10:11PM x

How involved is God in your life?

at 09/13/11 2:51PM

Some people believe that God is intimately involved in our lives.

Some people believe that God is more of a "hands-off, trust-and-obey-kind of God."

I could be wrong, but it seems to me that people who have very involved parents believe that God is very involved in their lives. (we won't get into the "hows" just now.)

It seems that the people who had parents who were less involved with their children's lives feel like God is less involved in their lives. (again, we're not getting into the "hows.")

For the purposes of this particular blog post, I'm not going to get into what I believe, because I want to hear what YOU believe and why.

For every point you make, please have a scripture reference or example ready to back you up.

Thank you! edit | delete If prayer yields no reaction from God, why pray? The fact that God wants us to pray is the #1 reason I believe He is active today in our lives. by curlie at 09/13/11 7:46PM x Many of the miracles were done in response to problems in daily lives (I guess the one that leaps to my mind is Elisha and the axe head - 2 Kings 6 -- in fact, many of the miracles Elisha did were because of small, everyday situations!). But I think my main reason would be that Jesus was God in the flesh, and He cared about the daily lives of people. by themother at 09/14/11 12:02PM x

love, control, and free will

at 09/10/11 2:17PM

To you, love means controlling someone else.

To me, love means giving someone choices, and letting he or she make his or her own decisions. edit | delete What love means to you seems to me to be God's love.

A quote from a recent sermon by Mr. Klein on how our definition of love is typically much different than God's definition of love: "God loved the birds and He made trees. Man loved the birds and he made cages." by anna6689 at 09/10/11 2:36PM x So -- have you done anything about your wisdom teeth yet? by themother at 09/10/11 6:14PM x LOVE the quote, Anna! and I love you. by leahhallnoats at 09/12/11 8:59AM x Yeah - what's up with the teeth? by praguer at 09/12/11 10:37AM x I put up a few of the pictures we took at the play on Facebook. I hope you don't mind. :) by theaunt at 09/12/11 3:26PM x Leah, I had to have my wisdom teeth done by the oral surgeon too, because the local anesthetic wouldn't cut it (no pun intended!). Hang in there! Enjoyed the pictures Sara posted! by themother at 09/12/11 10:10PM x

I feel icky...

at 08/31/11 4:09PM

So, I went to the dentist, exactly a week ago, and they told me I need to get 3 out of 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled.

I've been procrastinating in making an appointment.

Today, exactly a week later, I feel icky.

I googled my symptoms, and they are "wisdom teeth symptoms."

I read that recovery depends on the individual.

Going to the dentist freaks me out SO bad.

I freaked out just from going to my check-up.

All this talk of headaches, soreness, roots, blood, and gauge is completely freaking me out.

Icky, icky, icky, icky, icky!

---

and yes. I know. I have the maturity of a 12-year-old....

---

I don't if it's better to get it done before or after the play this weekend.

UG!

　

edit | delete After! Trust me! You'll be glad you did it, but it takes a little time to heal. I was actually at Cracker Barrel the evening I had three removed. I ordered soft veggies and it was so good. Meanwhile my dentist was trying to call me to check on me according to protocol and couldn't get me. He panicked and called my mom who was my emergency contact. He couldn't believe I had driven to Cracker Barrel to eat. He doesn't understand the lure it has on us Halls! My mouth was sore and a little swollen for a few days, but so worth it. Wait. by theaunt at 09/01/11 6:55AM x Depends on how much anesthetic they use -- but unless you are really, REALLY sick, you'd probably do better at this point to wait till after the play! (It's supposed to be "Break a leg!" not "pull a tooth!") Hope you feel better! by themother at 09/01/11 11:24PM x Yeah... I'd say wait til after the play. You already know you'll be cracking up the whole time... so why would you need drugs to further intensify the hilarity, right? I say, "GO SOBER!" ;)

Seriously though, so sorry you're in pain... I've yet to have any trouble with mine, so I dread the day when extraction is eminent for me, too!! So remember, 1. Play first; 2. Deal with pain later. OH, and 3. I miss you, too!!!!!!!!!!! by jesspico at 09/02/11 12:06AM x First - chill out, my friend! It's not that bad, and you'll be completely knocked out, so you won't feel anything. I'd suggest getting all 4 of them out at one time, though. That way you won't have to go back. My sister got 2 of hers out, then the other two later. I got all 4 at once. Definitely the better choice!

I have no idea about the timing in relation to the play. Just do what feels right. :) Hope you fell better soon! by praguer at 09/02/11 8:30AM x Hey Leah! I got mine out a few weeks before I came down here. I was nervous about it too, but everything turned out fine. =) I didn't have any pain really. When you get them done just make sure you stay on top of your meds, give yourself a day or two to stay in bed, and you should be back to normal after that. =) by gemma at 09/02/11 5:51PM x You were fantastic in the play! I was constantly cracking up. I miss the crab people. :( by thepoeticmadman at 09/08/11 8:32PM x Thanks so much, Jared! :) I miss the crab people too... by leahhallnoats at 09/09/11 9:12AM x

Wonder why women have "Walls" or why they ignore your advances? It’s because she knows you’re creepy long before you open your mouth.

But why do women develop this empathy and acute awareness?

Because you’re a pervert who touched himself growing up.

Just kidding, but not just kidding.

Try this experiment if you dare: take your closest female friends out for dinner (it’s okay to take your sisters if you have no female friends… I won’t judge) and ask them what it was like growing up as a girl.

Ask them to explain some of the scary things they’ve encountered from older men when they hit puberty.

I’ve done this myself and I was filled with rage against men, but I grew an appreciation for women and their sensitivities.

Almost all women will experience dramatic social changes when they hit puberty and when they start to develop their "womanly figures." I’ve heard stories about how awkward one friend of mine felt when she was only 14 when her dad’s male friends would come over and have beers and stare at her awkwardly, possessively, and with deep sexual intent.

Think about how disturbing this would be as a young boy. Ever have a creepy uncle look at you weird? Think about it.

She's been dealing with creepy guys for years ... respect that.

(Note from Leah: Okay, I hate this section because it makes me feel uncomfortable, but sadly, it’s a needed section, especially for Christian guys. I’m going to talk to you, in particular, about hugging.

Now, I love hugging. Physical touch is my primary love language. And I think it’s completely fine for a guy and a girl to hug.

But man, I just have to say this, because the only guys who have hugged me like this have been CHRISTIAN guys.

Maybe it’s because Non-Christian guys already have their…uh… "needs" being met, I don’t know, but here is a creepy thing that Christian guys do sometimes.

A guy will be hugging me. Which is great! I love hugs.

But, apparently, it uh…feels more pleasant to him than he was expecting. So naturally, he goes in for a second hug!

Except, it’s not really a hug. It’s more of uh…chest press. Let me just say, I know exactly what you’re doing.

And I’m sorry, but it’s completely creepy. It also makes me lose respect for you.

(any other girls want to shout an "amen?")

If we (or you and any girl) used to hug, and suddenly she turns them into awkward side hugs, light taps on the shoulder, or avoids you altogether, then it’s probably because she has become wary of your creepy "chest presses" and is avoiding them. In general, they don’t feel good to us. They feel, well, creepy.

If you’ve been guilty of the "chest press" before, it’s okay. Just try not to do it again.

But seriously, though...)

Back to the guy blog…

When I had this discussion with many of the women I’ve dated I was also horrified at how many rape stories I would hear. Not only do almost all women have a story where they were victimized in one way or another, but every girl who was telling me their story seemed to have a peaceful detachment from it. I found that I became very upset to hear their stories, while they seemed to have a quiet acceptance of the whole thing, as if it was simply just a part of life. (Note from Leah: Sadly, this is true in the Christian community as well.)

Being the victims of attacks and unwelcome sexual aggression seemed almost an acceptable part of their past. This makes me angry when I think about it. Mostly because I have sisters, nieces, and a mom.

If you sit with a girl and listen to her stories you’ll grow a deeper understanding as to why women seemed so "intuitive" about men. They need to be.

Consider how many strange men they encounter through out their lives.

I'm glad I'm not a girl sometimes...

Realize this: you’re big, she’s small. She knows this and puts herself into a very vulnerable situation when going on a date with you.

Stop taking her vulnerability for granted.

Why does this matter?

Well if you ever expect a woman to open up to you and become physically and emotionally vulnerable she will need to have a level of trust with you that most guys don’t even think about. The fear she has deep in her body is based upon real life experience, as well as artifacts from her prehistoric brain.

The cave-woman who survived and reproduced learned which dudes to avoid and which dudes to trust. If she didn’t she wouldn’t survive to have kids, who had kids, who had you.

When I first started dating this never even occurred to me.

Mostly because I was so self absorbed with my own fears and desires that it didn’t occur to me that her fears would be so different than mine.

When you approach a woman for the first time, and she doesn’t know you, she has very real defense mechanisms that will help her keep safe from the likes of you. You need to be very aware of this so that you can act accordingly AND so that you don’t take offense.

If you’re acting creepy, slimy, or questionable in some way, shape, or form, she’ll filter you out as being unsafe or "questionable."

She's cold and closed-off because of creepy guys... don't be offended.

Here are ways you might be acting creepy (when you first meet her)

(Note from Leah: Ug. Not JUST when you first meet her. I’ve had so many men do these things. In church, even. Married men, even. Even, when I’m wearing completely modest, slightly big clothes. Let me just say, ew ew ew ew ew ew, EW! Please stop. Please. Please, please, please please please!! This can cause a single woman to want to hide and never come back out! Trust me…):

　

• Staring from across a room but not approaching.

• Asking uncalibrated questions

• Inappropriate jokes.

• Laughing too loud, and too often.

• Uncomfortable body language like shifting around, chewing your finger nails, or any bizarre postures.

• Uncomfortably close body language.

• Over bearing eye contact with no smiling.

• No teeth smiles are kind of creepy.

• Any smile where the eyes don’t also smile. (Fake Smiles)

• Touching inappropriately – such as suddenly touching her for the first time 30 minutes into your conversation. This also includes touching her too often, and in her erogenous zones without invitation

• Bragging.

• Giving too many compliments, especially about her physical features.

• Overly sexual body language, comments, or behavior.

• Acting awkward in any way.

• Inventing and discussing future plans together.

• Trying to win her affections by buying her and her friends coffee, or any outwardly obvious flaunting of money.

Here are ways you might be acting creepy (on the first date. Says Leah, or other scenarios!):

• Disclosing too much information. Keep private matters private at first.

• Smothering her with interest before a real relationship has been given an opportunity to develop: this includes love letters, too many emails, phone calls, displays of affection, etc.

• Acting possessive or overly protective. She’s not yours, don’t act like she is.

• Dropping by unexpectedly and uninvited.

• Showing a lack of emotional control (Outbursts of anger, fear, or sadness.)

• Showering her with gifts and expensive meals.

• Hitting on her friends, or other girls in front of her.

There are many physical, emotional and financial risks that women take when dating that you should consider. Women have real reasons to be very selective about the men they date and eventually marry. Don’t be offended. Don’t be jaded. And don’t be creepy.

Be understanding, sincere, honest, and fun.

Being FUN will overrule her feelings of fear every time.

~ Robby

edit | delete Oh it's true, it's true. I think he has a good perspective on how women deal with life after puberty. Although if one of my guy friends had taken me out for dinner and asked to explain how I felt about it...well, that's a little weird.

However, I will stick up for my bros and say that a lot of girls don't seem to understand the power of touch. I don't think I even understood it for a long time. Girls will give guys massages, play with their hair, hang on them, hug them, hold hands with them.... Guys are not your girlfriends. Okay - end rant.

Have you read the Stuff Christians Like blog? He talks about the Side Hug. When I was a teacher, I *ALWAYS* used the side hug with male students. by jenn at 10/12/11 12:47PM x Are you coming Thanksgiving? You know that Jenn and Ben and Will are going to be here. We will celebrate on Friday instead of Thursday to avoid in-law conflicts. by theaunt at 10/12/11 5:51PM x Jenn, I totally agree with you (about girls not understanding the power of touch.) It's been difficult for me, especially, since my love language is physical touch and a lot of times I don't mean anything when I sometimes mindlessly get "touchy feely" with a guy, and they sometimes take it the wrong way. Lesson learned. at least I hope... by leahhallnoats at 10/13/11 8:22AM x

always dependent

at 10/12/11 9:13AM

Last night at the USF bible study, we were studying 2 Corinthians Chapter 8. This whole chapter is talking about the generiousity of the saints in spite of their poverty and their willingness to give themselves first to God, and then to their brethren.

Paul is testing the genuineness of the love of the Corinthians by asking them to be just as graceful in their giving.

Verse 15 is especially interesting to me, as it references Exodus 16:18, where the Israelites are in the wilderness and quite literally dependent upon God for food.

Why would this reference be including in this chapter on generiousity and giving?

I thought of this after that question was asked.

No matter what our financial situation, whether we are giving out of our poverty or out of our abundance, we are always just as dependent on God to provide for our needs as the Israelites were dependent on God for their manna.

We are not to be greedy, we are just to work for what we need and to trust that it wil be enough, and that God will take care of us. This is true no matter if we are making a lot of money or just enough to scrape by.

It is a really important lesson for me to learn. I used to think it was especially cool when I was just starting to work full time at the age of 20 and just starting to pay to share an apartment.

It's just as true today, and I know it will always be true. Not only am I dependent on God for my most basic needs, but I am dependent on God for absolutely everything!

and I wouldn't have it any other way...

Like a bullet

at 10/07/11 9:19AM

You know, lately I’ve been feeling so honestly, deeply, and completely content.

I’m reminded of that semi-dumb/semi-addictive song "Dog Days Are Over," specifically that line where the singer is like "Happiness hit her like a bullet…something something (incomprehensible)."

Like a bullet, this happiness has been kind of sudden, and truly deep, and I owe it all to God.

I’m grateful.

---

Hannah Roy is in town and I got to see her last night! I love her so much. She is pure gold, that one.

---

I love avocados so much. They are delicious. They make amazing guacamole. (Is there a way to make guacamole without avocados?) This thing I have with avocados might be a slight obsession. Did you know that avocados have three times the amount of potassium that bananas have? It’s true. You can Google it.

---

Justin is still working his magic here on earth. Last night his friend Matt got in touch with me (because I’ve been trying desperately to see where I could get those "God’s Word is the Way – In memory of Justin Inversso" Live Strong-type wrist bands) and Matt told me he could hook me up. The proceeds are going to the family to help with expenses. How cool is that?

Matt and I have never met.

Matt is currently a student at USF, and he asked me if we could meet somewhere on campus. I told him the only time I’m on campus anymore is for the USF bible studies, so naturally I invited him to join us. I have no idea what this kid, Matt, believes, but I’m hoping it will turn into a good opportunity. It’s so amazing to me that we have this connection through Justin. I have a feeling Justin would approve of our bible studying and meeting. I can almost see him smiling that beautiful smile down on us.

I still miss him.

---

On a much shallower note, are you ready for Part IIIB Thinking Vs. Feeling?

Ready or not, here it is. And, dude. These are getting kind of long…

　

Part 3b: Thinking vs. Feeling

　

Many of us think it’s important to convince women that we’re powerful, rich, beautiful, clever, and funny. This is a mistake that will lead you, and her, to disappointment.

Understand this one thing and you will always do better with women than all your male friends put together…

It’s not what she thinks about you… it’s how she FEELS about you.

This is monumental in making progress with women.

Let me just give you an example how this principle applies in real life.

Make her FEEL something!

Have you ever gone grocery shopping while hungry?

If so you’ve noticed how hard it is to only buy those items on your list… for some reason you end up buying extra peanut butter, pancake syrup and Hot Pockets.

Why? Because our emotions dictate everything. Your hunger will win over your logical mind.

She’s like this too.

If you want to walk away with her phone number then you best understand how to change her mood from bored to excited.

I met this beautiful brunette through Facebook and this was our second phone conversation… we chatted for a few minutes before I invited her to join me for coffee the next night at one of my favorite coffee shops:

Brandy: "Um, I’m not sure if I’m ready to meet you yet…. I guess I just want to get to know you a little more first, know what I mean?"

Me: "Ha ha, oh man did I tell you that my mom is a Claymate? Do you even know what that is!? Oh man. .. bla bla bla…" I started immediately into a story about how crazy my mom is for Clay Aiken. The story is brief and has a few funny punch lines. When I was done Brandy was laughing hysterically.

Brandy: "Oh man, that’s so funny and crazy! I think I love your mom now!"

Me: "I know, isn’t she the best and the worst ever? Anyways I kinda have to run, so how does 7pm sound? I’ll show up early, so when you get there I’ll be the creepy guy making awkward eye contact with every pretty brunette who walks in. Actually, can you wear something totally fancy like your bright puffy prom dress?"

Brandy: "Hahaha. Actually it’s green if you can believe it! Oh man, I haven’t thought of that dress is years! Anyways, sure 7 sounds good."

In this example I did two things. I ignored her decline to my invite and went directly into a story that I knew would make her laugh and would make her feel good. And the more she was feeling good when chatting with me the more likely she was to comply with my date request.

Sometimes women are just in a bad mood and when you call them you catch them at a bad time. It’s a mistake to try to logically convince her into doing anything she doesn’t feel like doing. Therefore it’ll go a long way if you make an effort to simply change her mood instead of trying to (unsuccessfully) change her mind.

This is a concept that will not only get you that first date, but will help keep your relationship strong in the long run. Always remember that it’s her mood that you want to influence, not her mind.

Here’s another example

You met a girl at a gospel meeting the night before, you had a great time afterwards, and you exchanged numbers. Three days later you finally get around to calling her. What do you say when you call? What’s important to remember?

Be FUN the next day too.

First of all, don’t wait three days. Why? Because she’s already met 6 other guys who are also fun and cool and within 3 days she’s long forgotten about you.

Plus, when you met her at the gospel meeting, it was for spiritual encouragement, not to meet guys. When you call her 3 days later she might have just finished cleaning her cat litter box and might be ticked off at her mom. Her mood is way different, so you can’t just start in with, "Hey, let’s grab coffee."

Why? Because if her mood is bad then her reaction to your requests will be bad.

She might have forgotten about you ...

Instead you need to re-establish how fun talking with you is. You need to remind her body how it feels to laugh, be playful, and have fun. So your job when you call her is to have 3 easy to remember banter lines, and story lines to toss at her in order to pick up her spirits. Think of this like memorizing funny jokes that you will share with her when you finally start talking.

So rule of thumb:

1) Call her the NEXT day so she can remember you.

2) Be fun. Tell her two quick stories that are funny, and that make her remember how fun you are. Possibly make them stories about the night before, and that happened after you saw her last.

3) Assume she remembers you, and that you’ve been best friends for life.

Try something like this:

Robby: "Hey Sam, it’s Robby. Or, I believe you were calling me Tiny Ears last night."

Samantha: "Ha, oh hey Tiny… wait, should I speak up or can you hear me okay?"

Robby: "My ears are small but so is my ego. You know what’s funny!? I got home last night and laughed hysterically when I looked at my terrible hair in the mirror! "

Samantha: "What? Why?"

Robby: "My hair was a mess and all I could think was ‘does this girl have absolutely no standards!? She’s crazy for giving a guy like me her number. Ha!"

Samantha: "Ha! I thought your hair was pretty cute actually."

Robby: "Well fair enough then. I was actually just chatting with my buddy, who’s meeting me in about 5 minutes…I’m at Chapters downtown waiting for him when I thought of you… and he was telling me about this sweet little cupcake place on Jasper Ave. Are you free to grab dessert with me sometime around 6pm this week?"

Samantha: "Oh I love cupcakes… sure, that’d be sweeeeeet. Ha! Oh man, that was lame. How about Wednesday?"

Notice how Robby focuses on being fun, and leading the conversation towards the date, without calling it a date? (Note from Leah: Robby is right on. For some reason, dates that aren’t called dates make me feel much more comfortable when I’m out with a guy. It takes the pressure off, or something…)

My last example

Here are two examples of how men might try to engage a woman’s attention:

She's alone... so talk to her!

Steve: "Hi there, I saw you sitting here and I thought I should come over and introduce myself. My name’s Steve."

Clair: "Oh, um, hi Steve, I’m Clair."

Steve: "Um, well I’m sorry to bother you, I’m guessing you’re not single eh? Hahaha…"

Clair: "Um, ya, actually I’m not…"

Steve: "Haha, I figured you wouldn’t be. Well you’re very beautiful! Well I just wanted to come say hi, but I’ll leave you alone now. It was nice meeting you Clair."

Clair: "Oh thank you. It was nice meeting you too Steve."

(Note from Leah. OH MAN, CAN I RELATE TO THIS ONE! When a guy strikes up a conversation with me that is similar to this one, the only thing it accomplishes it to make me feel super uncomfortable, even if the guy is really good looking!

Yes, it’s true, we love being told that we’re beautiful, (especially when our hair is messed up and we are not wearing any makeup and we feel like junk) but our comfort level with you as well as TIMING is everything if you’re going to be brave enough to drop that one.

This kind of conversation makes us feel cheap (hi, you don’t even know me that well and you’re telling me I’m beautiful? Hmm, wonder how many times you’ve used that line.) Also, if we’re dressed up, clearly we’re trying to look decent, so it’s like you’re complimenting our "getting ready" efforts, which is weird. Or, if we’re not dressed up, it’s like, what do we say to that? "Um…thanks. I have great looking parents?"

Get to know us and our quirks and rare talents, and compliment us on that. And later! Good grief, guys. Really?)

Sorry for the rant. Back to the blog…

　

Notice how this conversation was boring, went no where, and how Steve engaged her from a negative mindset? He thought his chatting with her was "a bother," and he assumed defeat immediately because he assumed she had a boyfriend. In a scenario like this she may or may not have had a boyfriend, but since it was so awkward Clair could have just as easily lied to get rid of the nervous tension.

Be brave, plenty of women really DO go places alone.

Here’s another scenario:

Robby: "Hi there, I saw you sitting here and I thought I should come over and introduce myself. My name’s Robby."

Clair: "Oh, um, hi Robby, I’m Clair."

Robby: "Actually I came over here because I think you’re totally cute and I needed to find out if you’re as shy as you look."

Clair: "Haha, thanks, I guess. Wait, I look shy?! Hahaha"

Robby: "Well you’re sitting alone, so I figured you were either waiting for a friend, contemplating which shoes to buy next, or you were simply too shy to come over and say hi to me."

Robby nudges her with his elbow in a playful manner.

(Note from Leah: Eh…I would be careful with this one. Depending on my mood, I would be kind of irked about his presumption that I had a shoe fetish or his presumption that I wanted to come over and talk to him. I might just stick to the "needed to find out if you’re as shy as you look" line. That one is nice, safe, and cute.)

Most women are not going to simply become attracted just because you had the guts to approach her. She wants to get to know your personality first.

Bring out a funny story that will bring her out of her head, and into the moment. And at no time did Robby ask her if she was single, nor did he put in on the "spot" by asking her out without first getting to know her a little. This conversation might grow longer, especially if she joined him and his buddy for dinner. Even if Clair didn’t join him for dinner he could still go up and talk to her and her friend later in the evening. He’s left himself many more opportunities to make a date with Clair.

This process of influencing a woman emotions is the core reason some men find it very easy to meet and attract women, and some men struggle. When women go out to meet men they might tell you they’re looking to meet a guy who does X and Y and who meets her long list of criteria, but in reality it’s the man who most effects her feelings and emotions that will win her attention, attraction, and eventual affection.

Do not underestimate how important this concept is. It’s not only fundamental – it’s the foundation of attraction building. Her emotions almost always dictate her decision making. Don’t waste time connecting with her mind until you’ve connected with her emotional body.

Final Thoughts

Have you ever seen a fat guy who simply can’t lose weight? Why? Because his feelings tell him to eat. Even though his brain tells him "no" his emotions will often ruin his diet. Everyone has this struggle, including women.

She's like a fat guy ... make her hungry first.

You see, it doesn’t matter what her "preference" for men is, it will always come down to how you make her feel.

If women only dated men with six-packs and thick bank accounts most men would be single. But I’ve been to the mall and I’ve seen the types of men women are dating. Trust me when I say ANY GUY can get a girlfriend. I don’t care who you are or what you look like.

If you can learn how to make a girl FEEL something, then you will easily win your way into her heart.

How many Hollywood movies are based on this very premise? The main female lead HATES the male lead, but somewhere in the middle that HATE gets switched to LOVE and everyone ends up married. Why? Because it’s not about what she thinks about you, it’s how she feels.

What’s worse than a girl hating you? A girl feeling indifferent. If she feels nothing for you then you could never exist and she wouldn’t even care. At least if she hates you she’s feeling something!

Learn this truth.

~ Robby

　

edit | delete Glad for the peace and contentment the Lord is giving. Also hope you like your new apartment. We're in Houston. Get back home Thursday night. by gsh2 at 10/10/11 10:58PM x

　

　

Part IIIa: Thinking vs. Feeling

at 10/06/11 9:01AM

So, I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of sick of posting this stuff.

I'd rather write about the magical orange October light, or how much I love my friends, or how relieved I am to finally be settling into our beautiful condo, or about how mind-blowing it is to listen to 2 Corinthians on your IPOD as you fall asleep at night, or about how much I love Atlanta and would love to live there next.

but, for your benefit, I'll finish. If nothing else, you can read it later.

Or something...

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While You’re Thinking, She’s Busy Feeling

Go read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" written by John Grey.

Does it seem lazy when I suggest you read someone else’s book? Perhaps but I never said I wasn’t lazy.

At first you might say, "But that’s a relationship book and I’m more concerned with dating!"

You make a strong argument, but since I’m the boss I can say what ever I want. So heed my advice.

In Grey’s book he goes into great detail explaining the differences in how men and women perceive the world around them. He goes into magnificent details about how men try to fix things and spend much of their time in their own heads, while women are all about expressing themselves. He explains the common ways men and women can miscommunicate which only leads a healthy relationship into the stinkers.

Basically women are very emotional creatures. If this is news to you then you haven’t been paying attention. Shame on you!

I don’t think you’re going to find a guy who disagrees with this. And even though you may actually understand this as a "concept," you may still have trouble seeing the world as women do.

For example, if you’re a dude and your buddy comes up to you and asks you how your date went last night you’ll likely say something like this:

"Oh it went pretty good I think. She was wearing this super dress and spiked heels! I thought she seemed pretty into me. I think I’ll see her again."

Now let’s say you’re a girl and your best friend calls you up and asks you how your date went last night; you might say something like this:

"Oh hey Nancy! Ya, I went out with Kevin last night. I was so nervous at first, but when he picked me up he made me laugh so hard! So I totally felt more comfortable once we got to the restaurant. It wasn’t very crowded there so I felt kind of in the spot light, but he was charming so I relaxed after a few minutes. He kept looking at my hair which made me feel like I had something in it… that was awkward, but then I went to the bathroom and it looked fine so who knows what that was about… Oh and I loved how great he was with our waiter… he was new and nervous and Kevin made a bunch of jokes which made our waiter so much more calm.. I felt that was really decent of him. At the end of the night I felt pretty good about him and I was felt like he was pretty into me too, so I hope I see him again!"

Now, can you spot the differences in these to points of view?

Notice how the guy says "I think" a lot and the woman says "I feel" a lot. This is VERY important to notice.

Notice how long the woman’s response was compared to the man’s?

In reality two girls discussing a date could eat up hours of dissection and discussion. (Read anything by David Deida if you want to fully understand the power of Masculine Vs. Feminine.) The major difference I’m trying to point out is that as men we tend to speak in terms of how we think and we evaluate things, while women describes things in the form of their emotions and how the events made them feel.

This is a very significant difference that most men have trouble appreciating.

Have you ever been asked something like "So how do you feel about me?" except in your man-brain you hear "So what do you think about me?"

Can You See The Difference?

You’re likely to respond with something like "Oh, I think you’re real smart" when what she really wants to hear "Oh, I feel you’re real smart.."

She wants to know how you feel about her because that’s how she interprets the world around her – in terms of her emotional body. Where as most men see the world much more literally. Men tend to be very "rational", and women tend to be more "interpretive." This is one reason women make amazing artists and musicians. They naturally have a way of feeling the world in a way most men don’t.

A guy might say, "It’s a bright sunny day," pointing out the specifics of the moment while a woman might say, "today feels so warm and amazing outside!" because she relates things to her emotions. This difference is tremendous when it comes to appreciating how women see the world around them, and more importantly for this blog, how they interpret their encounters with us men.

Take time through out your life to connect with your feelings, instead of being the detached robot you prefer to be. When it comes to connecting with women this will be your greatest skill! (Note from Leah: preach it!) Without a real understanding of your own emotions you’ll never be able to easily create rapport with that ONE special girl you’re so desperately trying to catch.

Remember: having emotions is okay. Spilling them all over everyone you meet isn’t. Being a man doesn’t mean being emotionless, it simply means having composure in the face of difficult emotions.

　

Why does this even matter?

If the fastest way to woo a woman follows a specific flow (Attraction, Rapport, and Intimacy) but how we communicate dictates the success of each stage.

In the attraction stage we communicate like animals – it’s mostly subtle body language, vocal tonality, and our expressiveness… it has very little to do with the words that come out of our mouths. From this her body will either respond positively or negatively. Eventually these feelings will filter into her brain and she’ll form some type of impression of you. From there she’s either interested or not.

If she is interested she’ll immediately want to start building rapport. Rapport is about sharing our similarities and differences. This is where we explore each other’s boundaries and expectations. This can happen within the first 10 minutes of meeting someone. The attraction stage can set off her need to build rapport very quickly. It happens this same way for us guys. How many guys do you see trying to buy that hot girl a drink? Buying her a drink is their clumsy way of trying to build rapport. Except she hasn’t shown any attraction towards them yet so this is a useless tactic.

But here’s where it get’s interesting… when in the rapport stage (which continues for the extent of your relationship) she will be trying to communicate with you through her feelings while you’ll be trying to communicate to her through your thoughts and ideas. Usually.

Your job, if you want to keep that beautiful woman, is to truly understand your own feelings and not just your thoughts. Thinking is great, but feeling is important too. The problem with us guys is that we’ve grown up scared of our feelings and we’re given no tools as to how to use/describe/share them. And when we finally do try to express ourselves we’re bumbling fools.

But try to imagine how powerful a man you would be with the women you choose to date when you’re able to finally communicate with them on a level playing field. Emotions to emotions, or, heart to heart.

A great book to read to get you headed in the right direction is called, "The Four Agreements," by Don Ruiz. He’ll open your mind up to the crazy conflicts we have inside our own heads.

~ Robby

　

edit | delete

Part II: Understanding women

at 10/05/11 8:51AM

For a variety of reasons, I feel so excited to share this next section with you, my readers! (all two of you. ahem...)

Reason 1. It really helped me understand how men perceive women. and wow. Bless their hearts!

Reason 2. It really helped me understand my feminine self. Which of course, is a very beneficial thing to understand...

Reason 3. It is kind of hilarious.

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But before I move on to the next section, I'm really feeling a need to give you a disclaimer from Part I, since Part I was written by a man, and as much as he knows, he does not COMPLETELY understand women.

My disclaimer to Part 1 is this: While engaging in playful "mini conversations" is extremely effective and fun, it is imperative, and I do repeat, IMPERATIVE that you are not ABRUPT in your exits and entrances into those conversations.

I may or may not have had guys try the "mini conversation" technique with me before, and I can tell you right now that several of those guys, probably because of nerves or something, would just...leave...like way too quickly to be natural.

I remember one particular instance when I was about to ask the guy a question and all of the sudden he just awkwardly disappeared. Instead of leaving me feeling intrigued and wanting to see more of him, his abrupt exit left me feeling frustrated and kind of annoyed.

Then, when he came back, it felt intrusive and overwhelming.

So, here's some advice from a woman: exit and enter when it feels NATURAL to do so. A good time to exit would be when there is a natural pause in the conversation. Maybe you've seen a small smile on her face and she looks down at her food, or at her friend, or out the window, or at the menu. That means it's okay to leave.

When you re-enter the conversation, look for similar pauses. If there's some kind of quiet pause, quietly walk over and start talking to her again. (Maybe this is just because lately I'm drawn to more quiet guys, I don't know. Any other girls want to comment on this?)

If anything feels forced or nervous, to you, the guy, then it is going to feel EVEN MORE forced or nervous to me, the girl. Robby, our blogger friend, was right on when he said that so much of attraction is about energy. You always want her to feel a comfortable, playful, happy energy.

*End of disclaimer*

Now, on to Part II: Understanding Women.

Women are illogical. (Note from Leah: Bahahahaha!)

This was what I used to think. Their actions, reactions, and motivations had always eluded me.

I’d see attractive women dating unattractive guys or pretty girls with "rig pigs." Everywhere I looked I could find smart women dating dimwitted muscle heads, or women chasing cocky men. I’ve had many female friends go back to exboyfriend’s who cheated and I’ve met amazingly passionate married women who refused to leave their abusive relationships. It seemed so very illogical.

I can still remember thinking:

- If I like a girl I’ll tell her.

- If I like a girl I’ll treat her with kitten gloves, consideration, and mindfulness.

- If I like a girl I’ll bring her gifts, buy her dinners, and shower her with compliments.

- If I lose weight and dress well then women will like me.

- If she just understood how much I like her she’d finally see how great I am! I should just tell her!

And yet girls would avoid me, reject my advances, or don’t call me back.

My accumulation of female insights have come from my mom, my sisters, and the endless movies and television I’ve watched. They told me that:

- women want the nice guy over the super jock.

- women don’t want to play games.

- women like compliments.

- women should be put on pedestals, praised and adored.

- women are precious and sensitive, and should be handled with kitten gloves.

- men need to work and earn a highly attractive woman’s attention and affection.

Yet what they were SAYING and what they were DOING seemed to be complete opposites.

Very confusing.

This led me to make some very wrong assumptions: If a girl says she wants something, and I provide her with it, then in return she’ll want me. I kinda figured that was how attraction worked. This made sense. It seemed logical. The more she liked me as a person, the more she’d be attracted to me as a man.

I was wrong.

Finally I’ve learned that the problem isn’t with the logic.

My LOGIC wasn’t wrong – women really DO like compliments, nice guys, and being put on pedestals. But what women WANT and what women are ATTRACTED to are two very different things.

One of the problems is that we men think we’re being logical.

We pride ourselves in it. We love puzzles, we love fixing things, and we love completing a project. You can almost smell our pride whenever we’ve solved a riddle, provided a solution, or come up with our own insight about the world. This is one of our greatest gifts.

So when our logic starts to fail us, like when women are rejecting us for being too nice, we can become terribly frustrated, deflated, and depressed. I know because I’ve experienced these feelings intimately for years.

Our mistake is that when we meet an attractive woman we try to attract her using LOGIC. Either we think we can CONVINCE her to like us or we do LOGICAL things like giving her gifts, bragging about our accomplishments, talking about our successful careers, showing off our abilities to make money, showering her with compliments, or telling her how we feel about her. Yet despite our best efforts she’ll always grow more distant, disinterested, and ultimately repulsed. This seems ILLOGICAL because ultimately our assumptions about what attraction is are wrong.

What adds to our frustration is seeing other guys getting the girls. Other guys who aren’t nice, who don’t listen, who don’t compliment, and who don’t seem to have anything going for them at all.

The truth.

Women aren’t puzzles, they’re people.

This is what I’ve discovered: The confusing actions women take and the seemingly illogical dating decisions they make have NOTHING to do with what women PREFER and everything to do with how they FEEL.

Logically women PREFER beefy men with a million dollars in the bank and who are endlessly showering her with gifts, attention and praise but obviously if that’s the only thing women were attracted to then most women would be single.

Instead I challenge you to see the truth.

A woman doesn’t date a chump because he’s GREAT LOOKING (or because she’s insane) she dates him because of the way he makes her FEEL.

(Note from Leah: Oh, Robby. Preach it!)

While we are busy in our own heads THINKING, women are in their own emotional bodies FEELING.

Before I continue to generalize too much I should mention that women think just as much as any guy, and men have just as many feelings as any woman – but in a very general sense men and women operate within their heads and bodies differently. Men tend to spend more time developing their logic processes, while women tend to have a better mastery of their emotional processes.

It’s the world of the Feminine and the Masculine.

Ultimately women are JUST like men but they listen more closely to their feelings. Instead of worrying about what a woman THINKS you should be paying attention to how she FEELS. If you can make a woman FEEL something then you’re already heading in a direction that most men aren’t.

The next step is to help her FEEL good things and to associate those feelings with you.

The problem is that when you’re spending your time trying hard to woo a woman, buying her gifts, or generally exposing how desperate you are for her attention, you’re having very little effect on her emotional body.

If she feels nothing then you’re just another dude trying to impress her. And if she’s particularly attractive she’ll have developed a life-long system of avoiding dudes exactly like you.

Attraction isn’t a choice. (I learned that phrase from dating Guru, David DeAngelo) Women don’t CHOOSE to feel the way they do. This concept is often misunderstood, especially by very smart guys, so pay close attention.

When a woman isn’t attracted to you there is NOTHING you can do or say to her that will change that. AND if a woman IS attracted to you then there is nothing her friends or family can say or that will change that. She doesn’t CHOOSE to feel the way she feels.

This is powerful.

Women aren’t men. They don’t act and behave based on the same things we do.

The sad truth is, the more you try to use LOGIC to figure out how to "get the girl" the more you’re likely to act in a way that will scare her away.

Women may appear illogical, complicated, and impossibly chaotic, but I’m here to tell you that there IS reason behind the madness. Women ARE logical, it’s just that they have different fears and expectations than we do. We guys think that women are like us – if they see someone who’s physically beautiful we assume that they’ll automatically be attracted to them like we are. This really isn’t the case. Perhaps this is why there is so much porn for men, but very little for women. Men are so completely visual that it’s hard for us to understand what really attracts women.

A woman falls for a man’s personality and eventually loves his appearance, while a man falls for a woman’s appearance and eventually loves her personality.

Let’s wrap this up.

I love MINDSETS, which are basically a type of belief system, so here are some that you should consider when trying to attract a woman:

OLD MINDSET: It’s very important that you don’t do anything to make her dislike you. If you say something stupid, or if you say something wrong, she’ll automatically become disinterested in you.

NEW MINDSET: Women don’t need to like you to be attracted to you. It doesn’t matter what she thinks about you, only how she feels about you. Her feelings have such an influential force over her decision making that it almost doesn’t matter what she’s thinking, only how she’s feeling. This is specific to dating. Obviously in the long term she’s going to have to like you if she’s going to stick around.

OLD MINDSET: Women only want to date rich guys. Women only want to date men with six-packs and rippling muscles.

NEW MINDSET: What women prefer and what women respond to are VERY different things. She may prefer a man who’s rich, ripped, or gifted, but she’ll date any guy that she trusts and is attracted to (rich or poor, thin or fat.) I’ll talk about what women are ATTRACTED to in another post.

OLD MINSET: Men need to convince a woman to like him. The dating process is for her to decide if he’s good enough.

NEW MINDSET: Men and women use dating as a tool to discover each other’s passions, charms, histories, and possible romantic connections. The guy needs to challenge her just as much as she needs to challenge him. Dating is like playing tennis together on the same side of the net, instead of against each other on opposite sides of the net.

OLD MINDSET: A woman will only be attracted to you if you pass her qualifications – almost like a checklist. It’s your job to discover her list, and to make sure you match it.

NEW MINDSET: Attraction isn’t a choice. Women have no choice who they’re attracted to, just like we have no choice who we’re attracted to.

OLD MINDSET: I should pay close attention to what women say they want so that I know how I should act and behave.

NEW MINDSET: I act and behave according to my own path and moral structure. Besides it’s more important to understand what women ACTUALLY respond to as opposed to what they say they want.

I hope this gets you started in a more positive direction, while letting go of the old logic you may have been tripping over until now. Remember, it’s not important for women to make sense, it only matters what they respond to. As we begin to explore what attraction REALLY is and what women RESPOND to, we’ll come to appreciate women for who they are, instead of being frustrated for who they’re not.

In my ongoing challenge to both understand the beautiful women of this world AND to help educate my fellow man I’ve started this series...

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So, what do you all think? As a woman, I think it's great advice!

Or should I say, I FEEL like it's great advice! ;)

　

edit | delete I'm interested to read the rest of them! Thanks for taking the time to edit and post these! I also love the "Note's from Leah". :)

by trefe_something at 10/06/11 10:41PM x I'm enjoying reading these! by daddysgirl at 10/09/11 10:41PM x

Talk about awkward! (Love you, Dad.) ;)

Honestly though, I feel like some of it could even help married men understand women better. I mean, if it could help a woman understand herself better, than I'm sure it could help a man. Just saying...

So I was praying this morning, and I was struggling a bit. All this stuff I've been editing and reproducing on my blog really is not that important.

It really and truly isn't.

The most single most important Person or Topic is God.

And I just couldn't stop marvelling at Him this morning.

And then, as if my meditations weren't enough (of course they weren't!) there was THE most amazing sunrise this morning. It started out all red and fiery and then gradually got golden and blue and green and cloudy and glowy and gray in all different portions of the enormous sky. And I can't help but think that the sun is a symbol (if not a dim one) of God's light. We are in such darkness without Him.

Yet, He is FAITHFUL and THERE for us, EVERY SINGLE DAY, even though sometimes our dark stormy clouds of sins and stubborness make Him more difficult to see while on this earth.

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There's a portion in the series where Robby talks about masculine and feminine energies, and about how every man and woman has a mixture of both energies. I found that portion especially fascinating, because he states that the most expressive form of masculinity is DYING. The most expressive form of feminine energy? GIVING LIFE. And I couldn't help but marvel at God yet again because God does BOTH for measly little us.

Just as men and women are somewhat incomplete without each other, both are INCOMPLETE without GOD. Of course, Robby unfortunately doesn't have this insight. But we do. And thank God!

　

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Part 6: Her fear of social judgment

Besides the obvious physical dangers that women face there is another, very misunderstood fear, that you should consider; the fear of social judgment, rejection or embarrassment.

This is no joke.

I think you (yes you specifically) lack an appreciation for a woman’s fear of social judgment just like she has a lack of appreciation for the sensitivity of your visual nature.

Fears are based upon a deep animal instinct grown from millennia of genetic pruning and fine tuning.

(Note from Leah: eh…or God gave them to us for our own protection. But, you know that…)

Women instinctively fear the loss of Social Status.

(A Long Note from Leah: This is important. Women highly value their relationships with other women. Just think of how excited and high-pitched their voices get when they run into their friends. Think of how often you see a guy out alone as compared with a girl out alone. Notice: You see WAY more guys out alone than you see girls out alone. That’s because in general, women prefer to be out with other people.

Also realize this: a girl might like you, but if she knows her sister or best friend is pretty interested in you, she might avoid you like the plague. Most high quality girls care enough about their friends not to jump into things with a guy if they know it will compromise a friendship. VERY high quality girls will not jump into things if they truly care about other women in general. If she knows someone likes you, and she doesn’t seem to care who she hurts? She may not be that high quality. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…

This doesn’t mean you’ll never get to be with said girl. This just means that you need to catch her alone, or without her sister or best friend. It also means that you’ll need to give her time to figure out if she likes you enough to "have the talk" with her sister or best friend, which means YOU will have needed to make it obvious that you are interested in HER and NOT her sister or best friend, and that you will give her sister or best friend whatever space or grieving time they may need. Sound melodramatic or like a lot of work? It is. But if you like the girl enough, you’ll do it, I’m sure. Ha. I may or may not be thinking of specific situations, here. Oh dear…)

So what exactly do they fear?

Back in the caveman days social status was EVERYTHING. If you became an outcast you were dead. It was that simple. Even today we have this DEEP fear – both men and women.

But women are different then men. Where we men tend to grow up with a disconnect to our feelings we’re able to ignore some of the social judgments that women aren’t.

Each judgment is meant to lower her perceived social value. Yet we men don’t have these same judgments, and so we tend to suffer far less inner scrutiny for our social behaviors.

For some reason we judge women differently, and they know it.

Take time to understand a woman’s fear of social judgment and you will learn ways to make your interactions with her fun, exciting, memorable, and attractive.

Otherwise you risk stomping all over her feelings without realizing it. That’s a poor way to pick up chicks, dude.

It’s all about calibration

I went through high school misunderstanding what social calibration meant, which is why I was mostly single.

Don’t walk in my footsteps. Seriously. No seriously. Or I’ll kill you.

Calibration means knowing what is appropriate in certain situations, and what isn’t. We have names for guys with no social calibration: creepy, geeky, nerdy, and awkward.

He's not calibrated.

Watch other guys

The best way to learn calibration is to watch other guys who are GREAT with women, and who are GREAT with everyone! A man who can hold a group of people captive through his words can be a great mentor. Find one and pay attention. Learn. Copy. Mimic. What ever it takes.

Watch their moves and body language.

Practice

Notice how jocks in high school do well with women? It’s not just because they’re fit. It’s also because they spend their youth interacting with hundreds of people through events and parties.

Each time you interact with someone it’s like doing a rep at the gym. Guys with a huge bench press are guys who do a lot of bench press at the gym.

Talking to people are your reps. The world is your gym.

So hit the streets and talk to people, every day, all day. Not just the hot chicks…

(Note from Leah: You can learn a lot from the women to whom you are not attracted! I always appreciate guys who talk to awkward or less-than-gorgeous women. My dad was one of those men who paid attention to the women that normally got overlooked, and I absolutely adore him! Just make sure you make it clear you’re not interested. You can do this tactfully by talking up a guy you know might be interested in her or just by letting her know that you just want to be friends. Depending on who she is, she still may not get it, and fall all over you because she’s not used to getting attention (I may or may not have fallen into this category before. *cough*), but other girls will deeply appreciate your kindness to her. )

…or the waitress you really like. Talk to every person you meet through out your day. This way you will slowly learn calibration and social skills.

Learn from the experts.

Read books. And LEARN social calibration. This is so easy, and so assessable, that I’m amazed more men don’t do this. Instead most men end up being awkward, ignorant, and lonely.

Get out of your comfort zone and do some learning.

~ Robby

　

edit | delete Robert seems perfectly happy. I wouldn't worry about him. I can see how Friday might be a tough day to get off...especially in banking on the biggest shopping day of the year. by theaunt at 10/13/11 3:31PM x Saw your note on Sara's blog that you "might" make it for Thanksgiving? Do hope so -- you know Ben, Jenn, and Will are planning to be here! And you need to send me your new address -- TeaAndBook@aol.com by themother at 10/13/11 10:56PM x Loved your description of the sunrise! by themother at 10/13/11 10:56PM x

　

　

So, my roommate Charlotte may or may not be a huge fan of Twilight. *Ahem* Judge not that you not be judged, as I always like to say. Or something...

Anyway, she recently loaned me a copy of "The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner: An Eclipse Novella (Twilight Saga)"

I wanted to read it, because...well, what can I say? I happen to love the Twilight series; as gooey, stereo-typical, poorly written, and mainstream as it may be. Call it a guilty pleasure. Call it an escape from reality. Call it a way to connect with star-struck teenagers with very little taste.

Call it what you will. I am owning my stupid fandom. Team Jacob all the way, etc. (You know you love my t-shirt...)

Anyway, this little novella was fascinating to me.

(I may or may not be easily fascinated. Shut up. You're just jealous at how easily amused I am...)

Why was this little book fascinating to me? Well, as I was reading it, I noticed a lot of Mormon vocabulary sprinkled throughout the book. The evil vampires being referred to as "gods," and other little hints here and there. And around pg. 86 I finally understood...the whole thing is a metaphor for the Mormon religion! The newbie vampires could be missionaries or new converts. The Cullen family represents the good, honest Mormons. And the evil vampires such as the Volturi or Victoria? They represent the higher ups in the church who attempt to manipulate and control those lower down the ladder.

Stephanie's introduction to her novella is really what did it for me. She talks about perspectives, about how they change, and about how no characters' stories or perspectives are insignificant. It really made sense to me, and I'm hoping I can somehow use it to help some of my Mormon friends for whom I have hope. I really do love my good, honest Mormons...

Megan Dvorak asked me to study with some missionaries who knocked on her door a couple of weeks ago since she heard rumor that I might know a lot about the religion. I suppose I do...

It was a really informative and good bible study, and a really frustrating and really sad study as well. We can only hope and pray that we at least inspired the young missionaries to think...

Now, onto the second-to-last post in this ridiculously LONG series...

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Part 7: Why Women Do stupid things

The unconscious mind has been labeled the "zombie within" by some scientists either as a joke, or to help imply its mindlessness. These same scientists have discovered that as much as 90% of our decisions are being handled by parts of our brains that are totally unconscious or outside of our awareness. (Note from Leah: eh...liberal estimation. how convenient to only be accountable for 10% of our actions!)

Most parts of our human functions take place unconsciously, like our heart beat and our breathing. While at the same time, if we focus, our conscious mind can interrupt this process and affect it for better or worse. But on its deepest levels our unconscious mind will take over when it concerns our overall health and well being (it’s impossible to hold your breath to death through shear will for example.)

I propose that our emotional and physical attraction to each other is driven by these same unconscious decisions. And I don’t mean just instinctually, because not bodily response is born from instincts. Many of our decisions and reactions require complicated pattern recognition but which happen far beyond our focused thoughts. Our beliefs, driven from years of domestication from our parents, peers, and mentors, affect our behaviors deeply.

Ask any pro athlete what it’s like to be in "the zone" and they’ll describe their performances as mindless, almost as if they’re out of their own bodies and simply at the will of their purpose driving them to win.

I’m going to refer to a woman’s unconscious decision making as her Inner Zombie. It’s mindless and uncontrollable, and that’s actually to our advantage.

She’s not alone; we dudes have our own zombies.

Testosterone Kills

And as a man you might often like to think that your decision making is perfectly within your rational brain, but experience should have taught you otherwise.

Why did I wet my bed when I was 13? Why did I punch that guy in the face when he insulted my ego? Why did I vomit when I saw my buddy vomit? Why do I overeat when I’m on a diet? Why did I call that girl three times when I know it’s only going to creep her out?

Unfortunately this Zombie Within makes many decisions for us and refuses to ask for our approval.

A man found himself as frustrated as I was trying to "figure out" why woman make such bad decisions.

But why?

Why do some women stay in painful and often abusive relationships?

Why do some women date jerks while the nice guys are stuck at home alone and frustrated?

Why are some great girls dating some not great guys?

When I was single and jaded I asked these types of questions all the time.

The reason I wasn’t finding an answer to my angry questions was because these questions pre-assumed that women were actually "choosing" to be attracted to the men they dated. The reality is that women DON’T control who they’re attracted to.

This is the same truth for men.

Blame her Inner Zombie.

She might be crazy, but we don't care.

Her Inner Zombie takes over when she feels things she likes or dislikes.

Does she know the guy she’s dating is a jerk?

Most likely.

Most women are not stupid.

Most women are actually amazingly intelligent. But that doesn’t mean she’s always going to make SMART choices. She may understand intellectually that her boyfriend is a jerk, but if she stays with him it’s because she FEELS that it’ll be worth it in the end. Perhaps she’s decided she can change him, or that his other positive qualities outshine his negative. But what’s really happening is that her Zombie Within is having a great influence over her decisions by driving her emotions to "stay" instead of "to leave."

There’s a pay off her logical mind isn’t noticing. Maybe she’s getting the attention she’s desperately seeking. Maybe she’s more comfortable with a man who’s domineering like her Dad was.. it’s comfortable. Maybe she’s too ashamed of the social attention a break up might bring her. Maybe her self esteem secretly convinces her that she deserves what ever punishment her boyfriend gives her.

Her logical brain is losing it’s battle against her unconscious belief system. It’s this Inner Zombie of hers that’s driving her to make this poor decision.

Attraction Triggers

If you push a woman’s Attraction Triggers you’ll awaken her Inner Zombie which will then flood her blood with pleasure filled hormones, thereby anchoring you in her mind as very pleasurable.

Women will go through amazing struggles to be with men they are attracted to, even if the man is an abusive jerk. Women will stay in terrible marriages and ignore the advice from all of their girlfriends simply because they "feel" this guy’s right for them.

.

I’ve already said this before but it bears repeating: women want men who can bring them great emotions.

If you know how to bring a woman pleasurable emotions, she’ll become addicted to you like a drug addict. You can do this by learning to communicate with her Zombie Within.

When you communicate with her emotions you’re REALLY communicating with her Inner Zombie. It’s her unconscious mind and emotional body that will trigger her to chase you. (Note from Leah: I WILL NOT chase you. At least I hope I'll never get to that point...oh dear...)

This is why I give guys the advice to NEVER waste time trying to convince a woman with their words and logic.

Telling a girl you "really like her" is nice but it won’t flip her attraction switches. You need to have impact.

Mixed Messages

One of the best ways to communicate with a woman’s unconscious mind is to tease her. That’s really what flirting is all about.

We do this to be elusive and fun. By presenting her brain with a puzzle we’re able to sink into her thoughts. She’ll end up asking herself, "Wait, does he like me or does he dislike me? He’s fun, but I can’t tell if he’s into me too. Why isn’t he into me?"

It can be very playful and fun!

Remember: women have pretty much mastered this process.

They will act super excited to talk to you again, but then won’t return your phone call for three days.

(Note from Leah: This section is absolute GENIUS, so pay attention. I love being playfully made fun of as exemplified below!)

Girls are great at sending Mixed Messages

The reality is that women LOVE attention, but only from guys they’re already attracted to. So don’t be creepy if she hasn’t yet invited you to be.

Types of Mixed Messages that are attractive when said with a wink and a smile:

• "Wow, you have the most beautiful eyes! Well… maybe just the left one."

• "You’re cute! Don’t say anything, or you might mess it up!"

• "You have the most beautiful smile! Out of ALL the smiles I’ve seen today you’re easily number 4. I’m going to call you number 4 now."

• "You’re pretty sarcastic … and some people might think you’re mean because they don’t get it, but I’m sarcastic too. That’s why we could never hang out together. We’d just end up having a blast making fun of everyone but our Karma would be devastating!"

~ Robby

edit | delete So then who are the werewolves if the vampires = Mormon? by theaunt at 10/14/11 11:19AM x I'm not sure, but I think they are Evangelical Chrisitians. Jacob (Werewolf) is constantly telling Bella, "You have choices. You don't have to choose this (vampire) life." by leahhallnoats at 10/14/11 12:01PM x To be honest, I have considered there might be something to it. Interesting though that the wolves aren't wrong just different. by theaunt at 10/14/11 1:05PM x I really don't see it except in that little volume "second life of Bree Tanner." She got brave with that one... by leahhallnoats at 10/15/11 3:43PM x But I don't want to read more.... by theaunt at 10/15/11 7:38PM x

I really wanted to make pumpkin soup this October.

You may be asking yourself, why did you want to make pumpkin soup this October, Leah?

And I would tell you, it's because I found a really amazing pumpkin soup recipe last October, and I let the month pass me by before I ever made it.

Now, sure. You could make a pumpkin soup recipe in a month other than October.

But I really wanted to have a celebratory "October" pumpkin soup, because that's how much I love October, and sampling pumpkin-flavored things in October.

I had mentioned the idea to Hayley.

Do you know what she did?

She went and found her own pumpkin soup recipe, bought the ingredients, and then invited me over to come and make it with her, because I inspired her.

So we made Pumpkin Soup with Curry last night.

It was savory.

It was delicious.

It was perfect; sitting out on her poarch in the cool air that smelled like fire, slurping our pumpkin soup and wondering why it is, exactly, that October cannot last forever...?

or be longer than 31 days, at least.

---

Here's some fun thought questions for you:

how do YOU, personally, try to apply the in-the-world-but-not-of-the-world-lifestyle?

What do you do to integrate yourself in a holy way?

What do you do to seperate yourself from the world and where do you draw the lines?

Are you doing enough to shine a light on the world and to be show LOVE and GOD to the lost?

Are you doing enough to make it clear that you are a citizen of another world and that you serve something and Someone greater than Mammon?

I'm just curious, and admittedly, struggling with the balance.

Pilot asked "What is truth?"

If he had been listening all along, he would have heard Jesus say,

Thy word is truth.

Sometimes the answers come way before the questions... edit | delete

would you like to hear the song I'm currently obsessed with?

at 10/19/11 7:17AM

You would?

Oh, goody! :)

I love this song.

I feel there's definitely some spiritual metaphors in it.

edit | delete okay, so the cartoon is slightly creepy and melodramatic. but the song is great. and the ending is cute... by leahhallnoats at 10/19/11 7:22AM x Won't play on my iPad! :( by theaunt at 10/19/11 10:51AM x

　

　

nostalgia and Halloween costumes

at 10/17/11 2:20PM

You know, when you start posting every day, it kind of becomes addictive.

Suddenly, every random thought that pops into your head seems post-worthy, worthy of being typed out and shared and remembered for when you're 38, burnt out, and in need of refreshment as to who exactly you used to be as a bright and shiny 26-year-old.

(or bright, shiny, and zitty, as the case may be. oh dear...)

(Lately I'm really hooked on the phrase "oh dear." It sounds kind of southern. Kind of tired. Kind of cute in a really weird way. You know? You do, don't you?)

I love reading my blogs from when I was a bright and shiny 20 year old. I love everything I've learned since then, and I love what I can remember from my younger, more optimistic (more naive?) self.

---

She was a good girl.

And she made it through just fine.

---

anyway, our gospel meeting with Monte Hampton of Somewhere-in-North-Carolina has been so good so far, and we've only had a day of it. Quite simply, we read Scripture and marvel at God. A.k.a. best thing to do EVER!

You have till Wednesday. Make the drive. Do it!

---

I have two (three, if you count work) Halloween parties to attend.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN.

I love October.

I love hay rides, feeling absolutely terrified, full and huge yellow harvest moons, jack-o-lanterns, candy apples, dressing up, scaring little kids, comforting scared little kids, flirting with cute guys at Halloween parties, having cute guys flirt with you at Halloween parties, creepy/comforting Halloween music and sounds (reminds me of all those years trick-or-treating on the Dolan's street, the haunted houses, the special treat bags they used to make up just for us. I miss Tom and Judy so much sometimes!), and you know, just everything about it.

Fall harvest festival.

The last year we all went trick-or-treating together.

We were ages 11-15 (I was 13.)

It was freezing cold outside.

We went as all the characters of the Wizard of Oz.

I was the witch.

Tara was the Cowardly Lion.

Colby was the Tin Man.

Jeremy was the Scarecrow, maybe?

Sarah was Dorothy, with that red hair.

I don't remember what Ashlee or Sarah D. or Emily went as.

I don't think Lauren or Shannon went...

Does anyone have pictures?

It was seriously so cold, we swore we were going to go as Eskimos the next year.

There was a wicked awesome sunset.

I didn't want the night to end...

---

Wow. Memory Lane. How did that happen?

---

Let's look at the Florida years:

2005 - Snow white. With my Jersey girls. awesome.

2006 - Vampiress. Old banquet dress. Red black lipstick. Lots of blood.

2007 - I was going to be a mime, but it ended up being more of a white faced, long-purple-wig-with-bangs freak. But, oh...it was fun.

2008 - Ladybug. Fun year!

2009 - Honey Bee. :)

2010 - Butterfly :)

2011 - ?

I'm thinking either a simple costume as a Black Widow to continue with my insect theme, or be a cowgirl and have an excuse to wear my adorable cowgirl hat that I got last spring. It's seriously so cute and I don't get to wear it enough.

I found my black red lipstick from 2006 when we were moving this last time, and I kind of really want to wear it again. Even if I'm a cowgirl.

I could be like a Goth Cowgirl or something.

Hey, it's Halloween. I can be what I want to be right?

That’s another thing I love about Halloween. The chance to explore a different aspect of yourself. To be someone else. Just for a night.

As Switchfoot would say, "This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"

I'm working on it.

As always...

edit | delete And today is all you'll ever have.

Good stuff. :) by rundrummerrun at 10/18/11 4:33PM x I SOOOO miss Halloween! You girls were great help for "my" parties. (It was more of a group effort, after all!)

You could be a Christmas tree. I love that costume, personally. A cowgirl is good, too. Sorry, I can't go for the spider. (I'm shivering just thinking of it.) Dressing up is so much fun! Hope you have a great time at your parties. (But not too much flirting, eh?) by praguer at 10/18/11 5:13PM x

a Saturday post?

at 10/15/11 4:04PM

I never post on Saturdays! Except today...

I went to my first Turbo kickboxing class @ 9am this morning.

There were four of us. All women. Varying fitness levels. Huge beautiful studio painted with warm earth tones surrounded by mirrors.

Had a very Spanish/Salsa-y feel to it.

The workout?

Oh baby.

Oh baby baby baby baby baby!

I love to dance.

In case you didn't know...

---

This is the last section! and my most favorite. wee!

Read up.

---

Part 8: I said in my haste, all WOMEN are liars…

Do women have double standards? Do they test us with lies? Hopefully I can resolve some of their most confusing behaviors..

I Feel So Confused…

Sometimes women seem to contradict themselves… almost like they’re lying:

She says, "I really like you… it’s just that I’m not really ready for a relationship right now" and then she immediately starts dating that blond hunk at the sports bar.

· She falls crying into your friendly arms to complain about her cheating boyfriend but then ends up going back to him the next weekend.

· Things are going well in the relationship, you’re giving her everything she wants, but for some reason it seems to only make her more upset and angry. She get’s upset when you say, "I don’t care where we eat, you decide."

Women are a fun conundrum of complexity and emotions. We love to hate them and we hate to love them. To wrap up this mini-series on women I’m concluding with some of the strangest parts of their behaviors and mindsets…

Why is she crazy?_Reasons She’s Not a Walking Contradiction_The Mysteries Of The Feminine

Read anything by David Deida and you’ll quickly learn powerful insights about the masculine and the feminine.

All men and women can express masculine energy and feminine energy. But overall most women naturally express feminine energy and most guys express masculine energy.

The feminine energy is about passion, creativity, dramatic expression, nurturing and loving. This energy wants to be filled up with never-ending emotions and feelings of love. Most feminine people seek long conversations because they enjoy the ever flowing process of talking and sharing.

The masculine energy is about making order out of chaos, puzzle solving, bringing things to conclusion. This energy is about emptying out, feeling void and quiet. We masculine people want silence and peace and so we hurry to finish the conversation.

The ultimate feminine expression is giving life (being a mother for example.) The ultimate masculine expression is death (violent sports help illustrate this.)

Masculine Vs. Feminine Scale

These two energies are like the opposites on a magnet – north and south. And the more opposite your energy is to hers, the more attracted you’ll both naturally feel. But because we express ourselves so differently (the masculine and the feminine) we often find ourselves very confused with the opposite energy (or opposite sex.)

While we guys want to sit quietly and watch a sport’s show she might want to sing and dance and interact.

We guys often want silence while she wants to talk.

It’s simply two different energies.

If she’s very feminine then she’s very much like the weather. Ever changing and hard to predict.

She’s influenced by all the hot and cold fronts all around her.

The more feminine she is, the more she’s influenced by the things around her and by others in her life. Why? Because the feminine enjoys this constant flux and flow of emotions.

While the masculine prefers structure and order

._Here’s how it applies…

When you say "Do you want to join me for dinner Thursday night?" she’s might actually hear "Do you feel like joining me for dinner Thursday night?" And perhaps in that very moment she’s feeling happy and content and really DOES feel like joining you for dinner on Thursday night. But come Thursday she may no longer feel like joining you. So when she cancels and says "No I don’t feel like joining you tonight" she’s being honest because she really doesn’t feel like it – in that moment.

She was being honest when she first said, "yes" but she was also being honest on Thursday when she says, "no thanks." Does this make her a liar? No. This just makes her a slave to her emotions.

I know some guys like this too, so I’m not actually pointing fingers at all women, I’m just hoping to provide some insight into scenarios like this.

There can be any number of reasons someone flakes out on us. Something that is especially true with women you’ve just started to date, or have just met, is that they really don’t know you yet.

It takes many, many years to learn about someone, and so if she’s canceling out on a date it’s not because she’s rejecting you.

She doesn’t even know you.

It’s because of her own reasons.

These are reasons you’re going to have to accept as being unknowable.

Should you get upset about this?

No.

Do you get upset when the weather is sunny on one day and then rainy on the next day?

Of course not, because the weather is uncontrollable and is made up of so many variables that it’s almost impossible to predict.

This is the same as the emotional well being of a feminine woman in any given moment.

And if she’s making decisions based upon how she feels then you’re almost at the mercy of her emotional state.

Learn to improve her emotional state and you’ll learn how to help her to ALWAYS say "YES!" to your requests.

Don’t take her "no thanks" as a final answer until you’ve made an effort to first improve her emotional state.

Make her laugh, make her smile, and try again.

Persistence is a part of being a man who get’s what he wants._

She Tests You To Trust You

It’s called a test for a reason.

It’s her being moody, rude, or purposely antagonistic.

It took me years before I knew this was even happening, and once I did I had no idea how to deal with it.

Thankfully I can save you some grief…

Why does she do it?

She wants to know if your house is made of straw or stone.

She will test you simply because she doesn’t think you’re paying attention, being authentic, or bringing your true masculine self to the interaction.

Almost like a child who screams to get his mom’s attention, she will sometimes scream to find out what you’re made of.

She wants to know if you will freak out and prove to her that you’re not a man, or she wants to know if you’re stand up for yourself and that you’re a mountain that she can’t move.

If you’re insecure, easily manipulated, or you become angry and frustrated, then she knows that your house is made of straw.

And your straw house will not keep her safe in times of real trouble.

But if you are non-reactive to the hurricane that is her emotional state, then she will FEEL that your house is made of stone, and that she can trust you to keep a cool head in times of trouble.

Is your inner game weak like straw or strong like brick?

Here’s the perfect example of a guy who "doesn’t get it" and who’s house is built of straw:

Guy: "Hey ladies, my name is Steve. I just HAD to come over here to meet you!"

Lady 1: "We’re not out to get picked up tonight pal, so leave us alone!"

Guy: "Man, sorry for bothering you. I didn’t know you were such witches!"

(Note from Leah: I’ve had this happen many times. Sometimes I’m out with a friend after a really bad week and we’ll be talking about something serious when some idiot decides to hit on one or both of us. Then, as if hitting on us at such an ill-timed moment isn’t bad enough, they insult us for getting angry, calling us names that rhyme with witches. Really, guys? Really?)

In this first scenario the guy is reacting to the negative energy these two women were already feeling.

Here is the same interaction, except he’s more present and nonreactive to their mood:

Guy: "Hey guys, my name’s Steve."

Lady 1: "We’re not out to get picked up tonight pal, so leave us alone!"

Guy: "Wow, finally a woman who’s actually honest. That’s kinda powerful. Don’t feel bad. Pound it!" (puts his fist out to be bumped.)

You see, being upset with a woman simply because she’s not into you is NOT how a "real man" reacts. And women naturally desire "real men."

So when you don’t react to her bad behavior, it helps teach her that you’re an unmoving mountain that she can lean on in times of stress.

(Note from Leah: THIS SECTION IS REALLY IMPORTANT. Women LOVE these qualities in a man! Don’t underestimate their importance!)

The two easiest ways to "pass" her tests, at any stage of your relationship:

1) Be a leader. Make decisions without seeking her permission. Drive the buss. If she has an opinion she’ll let you know, but she’ll become frustrated with you if you’re ALWAYS asking her first…. "But sweet heart, where do YOU want to eat dinner tonight? What movie do YOU want to see?" Handling her with kitten gloves and constantly seeking her approval will make her grouchy very quickly. Instead you should just LEAD.

2) Escalate. If you’ve had three dates and you still haven’t created some kind of emotional connection with her, then she’s gonna move on quick. Trust me, women don’t get upset when you take things to the next level (ie: including her in other areas of your life,) they get upset when you don’t.

3) Don’t take things personally. If you react to the world like everything everyone else is doing is some type of slight towards you, then you’re just being a sissy.

You are not a unique snowflake and you are not that important. When other people are slamming you it’s because they’re mad, not because you matter.

It’s not personal.

Every bad thing people do to hurt others has nothing to do with others, and has EVERYTHING to do with themselves.

She’s Just Not That Into You

I know this is hard to believe but sometimes a woman really doesn’t want you around. The Wall helps prevent her from talking to you. Either she’s not into you (so she’s rude in a way that makes you go away) or she’s insecure and rejects you before you can reject her.

(Note from Leah: Oh dear. I've definitely done that...)

And sometimes the easiest way to get rid of a dude is to be a jerk to him.

It’s not mature, but it works.

If you’re interacting with a woman and you’re battling her mood, let her go.

Don’t hold on to your frustration, just let it go.

Maybe in 30 minutes she’ll relax and when she does she’ll realize you handled yourself with cool calm confidence. (Note from Leah: Love guys who can do this!) Besides, why chase a girl who’s not interested? It’s annoying for her, and emasculating for you. (Note from Leah: Yes, it is annoying…)_

Final Thoughts:

As crazy as women are, I feel they’re worth studying. Not only to lessen our frustrations with their decision making process, but to improve the chances of them wanting into our lives, as friends, girlfriends, and wives.

But there’s a terrible secret I’ve hidden from you until just now.

Getting the Girl is made easier by studying them, but your real success will come from understanding yourself!

Learning why you react the way you do, understanding your OWN emotions and motivations… THAT is where you can make GREAT strides with women.

Why?

Because the more balanced you become as a man, the more attractive you become naturally to everyone around you.

There’s something captivating about being around a person who’s balanced, centered, and present.

So, stop reading about women, and start learning about your fine self.

(Final note from Leah: Honestly, the single most attractive quality in a man to any woman, Christian or non, is a strong relationship with the Lord. If you know, understand, serve, and love God and understand His relationship with you, this single quality, quite literally, can cover a multitude of sins.)

edit | delete I want to hear more about the kickboxing! :) by momw at 10/16/11 11:49PM x well, it was an absolute blast! also, I am in a tremendous amount of pain... by leahhallnoats at 10/17/11 8:27AM x

My sister, brother-in-law, and myself are leaving for Georgia tonight after work !

I’m so excited! I’m going to get to see a lot of people in a whirlwind, since we’re driving back Sunday afternoon. Oh baby!

Someday, I’d love to slow down there and actually pretend that I have that Southern way of living; slow and friendly and outdoorsy. As opposed to fast, distracted, and interiorish…

　

Today is balloon day at work. There are shiny, colorful balloons everywhere. (It’s a fundraiser for United Way. I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!)

---

My insides have been screaming this lately: I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER SCREEN!

Unfortunately, that is how I have spent an enormous chunk of my time at school, at work, and at play.

Have you ever known that you are guilty of something, but couldn’t quite find the words to express what you were guilty of? Mine has been nagging at me for a while now.

Idolatry.

The dictionary definition defines it as:

1.

the religious worship of idols.

2.

excessive or blind adoration, reverence, devotion, etc.

As Christians, we LOVE to look at those poor, pathetic Israelites who even though they had God doing amazing things in their midst, still complained and worshipped gods other than the True God.

We (or at least I) are/am just like the Israelites!

We have God doing amazing things in our midst and yet we still complain or make idols out of money, food, entertainment, romantic relationships, family relationships, our homes, and the multitude of activities that we enjoy doing (or in some cases don’t enjoy doing, just so we can have money.)

Sometimes I feel like I’m never doing enough for God.

(Probably because no matter what I do, that will always be true.)

For my entire life, I have always wanted to travel to a third world country.

I want to see if and how long I can handle it, and at what point I will likely break. I want to see what’s beyond my breaking point.

I am weird about food, and I’ve always been weird about food. Sometimes food makes me gag, even if I’m very hungry. Sometimes I don’t want to stop filling myself with food. (Perhaps because I’m feeling empty of God?)

What would I do if my only food was food I didn’t necessarily like?

Would I eat it with greater gratitude knowing that the very food I didn’t like was what the only thing sustaining me?

Would I eat less?

Eat more of what I didn’t like for the sake of not offending others and finally be satisfied?

---

　

I want to have the strength to leave all of my physical comforts behind me forever.

God is my comfort.

And my rest will only come when I am with Him without the sin and separation of this world.

I’ve been praying for God to change me.

And I still have such a long way to go…

　

"Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written, "THE PEOPLE SAT DOWN TO EAT AND DRINK, AND STOOD UP TO PLAY." 1 Corinthians 10:7

(I happened to stumble upon the book "Kisses from Katie" on Amazon. Just from skimming the previews, I am humbled.)

After getting into what I hoped was a firm but loving debate with a Gay Dad in the blogging world about the importance of a child having both a father and a mother, I stumble upon this single American girl who felt called to move and raise 14 children in a poverty-stricken country without a husband or father-figure helping her out.

"You see, Jesus wrecked my life. For as long as I could remember, I had everything this world says is important. In high school, I was class president, homecoming queen, top of my class. I dated cute boys and wore cute shoes and drove a cute sports car. I had wonderful, supportive parents who would have paid for me to go to college anywhere my heart desired. But I loved Jesus…"

She was also in a serious relationship with an attractive, spiritually-minded, successful man whom she was deeply in love with.

For whatever reason, she ended it so she could go to Uganda.

I think I admire her the most; for everything she gave up…

"And it only hurts this deep because you loved so deep and that memory, that love is what you live on some days…" - Katie J. Davis

(on comforting a mother holding her dead baby)

edit | delete ARGH. Can't you stay until Monday night at 10 PM? That's when our flight gets in :( :( :(

Ah well. We'll be at Lectures in Feb, Lord wiling. Pencil us in then :) by jenn at 11/18/11 12:44PM x This is Katie's blog- http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

I've been reading it for the past few months and it is truly humbling and inspiring. by apbooklover04 at 11/18/11 4:22PM x

I agree to a point about the world travelers. There is some good done though on some occasions. We have a young Christian single man here who chooses to spend his vacations in parts of the world where he can encourage the brethern. He was in South America early this year visiting with someone he converted online. He had Bible classes and helped her find a place to worship. Right now he is in Zimbabwe teaching and visiting as many groups as he can. He doesn't come back "preachy" but motivated himself on what he can do next. He doesn't ask for money, but when someone asked, he asked for donated Bibles that he could hand out. When he is here, he shows the same enthusiasm to help others here. I really admire him for the way he has chosen to use his resources. There are times when the men working in another country need a boost. A visit may give them something. Paul needed visitors! :) by theaunt at 11/19/11 10:46AM x Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 16:3, Proverbs 19:21

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God..."

I look forward to seeing what God does with your life. :) by heatheronthehill at 11/19/11 1:45PM x Leah, you can do whatever you like. I looked at it again and don't think I wll be excommunicated or anything. Ha! Glad you made it home safely! Hope to see you in December. I will be in Tampa on the 14th so I can help Robert get home. Maybe we can meet you for lunch near your office. I will try to touch base when we are closer to the time. by theaunt at 11/21/11 10:05AM x Loved seeing you here yesterday! Surely hope you make it up for Christmas. And, since Ben, Jenn and Will will be going to lectures, we may be going too!

.

　

　

She had some wisdom, she did

at 11/17/11 8:29AM

"Give yourself fully to God. He will use you to accomplish great things on the condition that you believe much more in His love than in your own weakness." -- Mother Teresa

edit | delete LIKE. by gemma at 11/17/11 10:48AM x

The Lord has brought me safe thus far

at 11/04/11 9:05AM

I love that line.

I love that idea of safety, that feeling of safety, that assurance of safety that we have with God.

---

I really want to hear/sing "King Most High" right now.

---

One of my new goals is to acquire a collection of congregational singings on CDs.

---

Not to be a snob, but I just don't enjoy the numerous "polished" recordings of hymn collections that are out there as much.

---

I like LIVE, unrehearsed recordings.

The kind where you hear the old man a little too close to the microphone, the kind where you can hear some flat alto, and that singular sharp, piercing Soprano who doesn't realize (or care?) that it kind of sounds like she is singing a solo...and an awkward solo at that.

---

But they are all singing with all the love and beauty they have in their hearts.

And so it's kind of beautiful.

---

Actually, it's like, REALLY beautiful.

---

I love the way God teaches me everything that He teaches me.

It is sometimes a gentle, quiet, and whispering reminder.

It is sometimes a terrifying shout.

Still other times, it is a complete and total humiliation.

---

And then, there are those times when it feels like He's gradually pulling me closer and upwards toward Him, in a way that kind of feels like being pulled through and out of water.

And I'm just aware of all the variations of light and color and pressure and cold and heat.

The variations of highs and lows.

The calms after the storms.

And all the different sounds of water.

From the rushing waves to the quiet drips of an outdoor faucet.

I love how He lures me into the wilderness.

I love how I simply cannot resist Him.

I love falling in love with Him.

Over and over and over again. edit | delete I honestly don't understand why He's so good to me. But I'm thankful for it. by leahhallnoats at 11/04/11 9:47AM x Beautiful thoughts! I think we have a CD that we made at the last Bunting reunion of some hymn singing. Next time you are around, remind me and we can get you a copy. by heatheronthehill at 11/04/11 2:06PM x If you like blaring, out of key yet enthusiastic singing, I need to record Sherman Avenue for you! Seriously, I know what you mean. I remember hearing Abilene chorus singing hymns in such a polished way that it didn't sound real. Grandaddy said he liked the homemade cards made by his grandchildren with stick figures and bad spelling even more than the polished "Hallmark" artistic creations. I'm sure God likes the blaring, often off-key singing of humble servants even more than the precise accuracy of highly trained musicians. Love your posts and love you! by gsh2 at 11/05/11 9:54AM x I often feel like we were somehow separated at birth or something. "I love falling in love with Him." I couldn't have said it better myself. For all my seeking after the Kingdom, I know that I've only touched the tip of the ice burg when it comes to absolutely thirsting for God. There's a long way to travel down the road called Devotion. by heidiw at 11/10/11 10:09PM x

　

　

statements and questions

at 10/28/11 12:33PM

-The Haunted House they had at work was completely amazing. I love haunted houses so much.

-I dressed up for Halloween today. We weren't supposed to dress up until Monday...

-I love soft, blue, plaid, button-down shirts...

-It feels like Halloween. Do you know what Halloween feels like? It feels like anticipation. It feels like youth in a bottle of witch brew. It feels like fear and excitement and endless possibilities.

Do you like feeling scared?

I do.

I don't know why...

---

Has anybody seen the video series about fearing God put together by Francis Chan?

They look interesting...

---

Does anybody read this thing anymore?

---

Doesn't anyone else have questions?

---

I feel like life is a series of questions, composing a bigger, greater question.

---

And God is the answer.

edit | delete I still read your blog. And I've watched the Francis Chan videos and read his book. Very thought-provoking. by apbooklover04 at 10/28/11 10:16PM x I read. And enjoy. by themother at 10/28/11 11:04PM x I read your posts all the time. =)

by gemma at 10/29/11 12:33PM x I read. :) by heatheronthehill at 10/29/11 3:56PM x I absolutely HATE feeling scared. Infact, I am sleeping alone in this huge house tonight... definitely scary enough for me.

by emmali at 10/30/11 9:59PM x thanks, everyone. :) that is hilarious/fascinating. and Emily, I had no idea you still got on here! by leahhallnoats at 11/02/11 12:06PM x I do read your blog...though, not as faithfully as I should!

And PLEASE, have no qualms about leaving long comments. I love your long comments. They're always helpful, insightful, and wonderful. :) I love you, and I'm still hoping for some sort of catching up with you at some point! Hope you have a great day! by heidiw at 11/03/11 4:44PM x I am sad too! :( by theaunt at 11/03/11 10:48PM x

color and cold and heat

at 10/26/11 1:15PM

Get this Ringtone

The Get Up Kids - Campfire Kansas mp3edit | delete

I feel kind of embarassed sharing this, but that's never stopped me before, now has it?

I just used the Ladies' room here at work.

Wait, let me clarify...

I just used the Ladies' room here at work while our MALE JANITOR was inside the stall on the opposite end of the bathroom (and our bathroom is NOT that long.)

I'm not even sure if he knew I was in there. But what if he did?

OH BOY!

Ha. Literally...

praying for humility

at 12/19/11 12:16PM

Sometimes, when you pray for humility, you get a humiliating answer that shows you exactly where you are in relation to where God is, and you just want to bow your head in shame and say sorry to everyone you've disappointed ever.

Other times, God blesses you SO richly, you look up at Him and think, "I really, really, TRULY don't deserve all this goodness. What can I do but praise You?"

Personally, I like the latter response much better. In the first response, I feel like we're usually a little oblivous and ungrateful towards God.

God, make us AWARE.

"My God is so big, so strong and so mighty, there's NOTHING that my God can't do!"

Not sure if I'm even making sense...all I know is God is far more good to us than we could EVER deserve.

Amen?

edit | delete Amen. by anna6689 at 12/19/11 3:53PM x

This post might not make any sense

at 12/09/11 9:51AM

- I love how you can never really tell if I'm going to be serious, sarcastic, or gooey emotional within my blog posts based on my titles. I feel like you usually get a good dose of all three...

-I am completely obsessed with guacomole. It is almost as bad as my obsession with Mormons...

-I love weird little kids. The weirder, the better...

-My birthday was really good. Occasionally, I feel like hiding from the world. Yesterday was one of those days.

It's usually not a good thing when you want to hide from the world on your birthday...

Last night I was slumped over on the couch with wet hair and an over-sized hoodie and boy shorts trying to make a decision about something...about anything.

I often, though not always, hate making decisions.

Beth looked at me and said "It's your birthday. We should do something." and then proceeded to text a bunch of people. We went to Felicidades, as I like to call it, and had sandwiches and Chai Lattes and played Taboo.

There were like 8 of us and we had an entire corner to ourselves.

I love having an entire corner.

I love my friends.

I love that there was one guy in the entire group.

I loved that one time when we walked into Five Guys and there were five guys and I looked at them and laughed and said "haha, well hey there, Five Guys!" No one got it. And I said "Get it? Five guys...there's five of you and we're in Five Guys?" Still, they didn't get it. or thought it was funny, at least. I couldn't stop giggling. Awkward.

-I miss the Buntings, of the Ben and Hannah variety.

-I love decisive people. But they have to be diplomatic. It is annoying when people are too decisive to the point of being controlling, and it is simultaneously annoying when people are too indecisive to the point of being people pleasing. Half decisive, half diplomatic. Win win.

-I've been having difficulty forming coherent sentences in casual conversations lately. This needs to be remedied.

-Sometimes things that sound fruity and out there and new agey actually make practical sense. No, but seriously...

-The barista at Felicidades was in a shoulder harness like the kind I've worn seven times and recognized instantly. I loved talking to him about his shoulder dislocation! He did it three times during the course of a race of some kind yesterday, and blacked out the last time. I absolutely loved empathizing with him. People who dislocate joints are so hard core and I love them.

-I have a crush on my new haircut. and I think I made a new friend with my hairstylist, Brooke. She was awesome.

-I love my non-Christian friends from high school and work and USF so much. They make me cry. A lot.

-A lot of things make me cry. A lot.

-Writing this post made me cry. A little.

-I love Taylor Swift's new music video for "Ours." I love her disheveled hair that looks so much like mine does so much of the time.

I remember when I was going through a hard time at my old job at Northgate Lincoln Mercury and my boss called me up into her office and told me that my appearance was looking too "disheveled" as of late, and to try to remedy that situation.

I remember driving home for lunch (which was kind of far back then) and bursting into tears when I walked into my apartment. Charity hugged me and made me a corn dog and steamed veggies and then sent me back on my way. I miss Charity.

-I love that it's completely acceptable for me to be a little dishelved at my current job since I don't have face-to-face interactions with customers.

-I miss face-to-face interaction with customers.

-I have absolutely no idea how to end this work phone conversation that I am currently involved in. This guy keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on. and it's making me giggly. which is bad, because I need to communicate with him...

-I miss poetry classes and night classes at USF.

-I miss Sarah Degrado.

-I miss a lot of people.

-Life is so good and the Lord is so merciful.

　

At least some things make sense...

edit | delete Ah, Leah! I love your posts -- even the randomness of them. And I'm glad you had a happy birthday. by themother at 12/09/11 9:53PM x I love guacamole, too, though I couldn't quite call it an obsession. :) Glad you had a good b'day! by praguer at 12/12/11 11:56AM x

your Friday afternoon detail of the day

at 12/02/11 1:33PM

My boss definitely just sent out an email that used the expression, and I quote "off the chain" within its content.

I feel like life pretty much can't get any better today... edit | delete Enjoyed catching up with the last three months of your blog. :) Glad things are going well. by jlmanager at 12/03/11 1:04PM x Could we do lunch or something? by theaunt at 12/06/11 5:19PM x Maybe dinner next Thursday then? by theaunt at 12/07/11 10:30AM x Happy Birthday, Leah! Hope this next year is a wonderful one for you! by themother at 12/08/11 9:34PM x happy Birthday! Hope to see you soon! by theaunt at 12/08/11 10:05PM x John David, I feel deeply humbled that you would take the time to read three months worth of my blogs! Hope it wasn't a total waste of time, haha...:) by leahhallnoats at 12/09/11 8:38AM x It wasn't - you write (and borrow) good stuff. Hope you had a happy birthday yesterday! by jlmanager at 12/09/11 9:15AM x

a hope for better, in November

at 12/01/11 9:35AM

I love songs that have months in them.

Examples:

"and it's early June and the sand's still dry and you have got the boldest eyes and I'm still waiting..."

"September never stays this cold where I come from and you know, I'm not one for complaining..."

"A hope for better, in November."

"It's been a long December and there's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last."

Name those bands and songs. You know you want to...

---

So, I did that thing where I wrote down something I was thankful for every day in November.

Here it is:

1. For my mom. It is so encouraging to talk to her and to hear all the things that she has learned and is still figuring out. She is so humble, has grown so much in the Lord, and loves to hear from me, even if she does most of the talking, and that makes me feel good.

2. For my dad. He has been sending me DVDs of home movies from when we are growing up and I absolutely love them, especially the music he picked out to go along with them. I cannot see old photographs combined with emotive music and not shed a tear or two. I really miss my parents.

3. For my sister, Rebecca. Watching the old home movies as an adult helps me understand our sisterly relationship much better. She is genuine and genuinely funny. I always (and still do, in some ways) wanted to be just like her.

4. For my Nanee. Who loves unconditionally and selflessly, even the most difficult of people. She is extremely giving and she is a survivor.

5. For the men at church. I love my brothers and elders at Valrico. I love Mr. Pickup. I love Aaron Bolton. I love Dustin Goolsby. I love Mr. Roberts. I love seeing the way Mr. Lowe talks to his daughters. I love hearing their prayers, lessons, and male perspectives.

6. For the women at church. Patti Martin. Megan Jackson. Martha Sutherland. Lindsey Goolsby. Hannah Bunting. Caitlyn Gentry. Who empathize with me and love me.

7. For my quirky friends. For the dinners and the awkward get togethers and how they cry with me and pray for me. I love them so much and am so thankful for them.

8. For Katie Kelley. Because she empathizes with me in my struggles and yet remains positive in spite of those struggles. Because her bravery with people absolutely amazes me.

9. For Darby Wells. Who is completely truthful with me about marriage, and yet still makes me want to get married! (Maybe marriage isn’t such a bad thing, after all...)

10. For the Sutherlands quiet strength and loving presence.

11. For my job. That people make every effort to keep it fun and bearable. For all my co-workers who are nice to me.

12. For Charlotte, because she is an example of a very hard-working person. Also, she's hilarious.

13. For Beth, because she always says "Love you!" when I’m walking out the door and because she is as obsessed with Volleyball as I am and actually wants to get people together to play.

14. For generously provided food @ our work party.

15. For drinks and hydration. The water and ice here at work.

16. For coffee and deliciously flavored coffee creamer and the way it makes me feel connected to my Dad.

17. For Wendy’s Chili and Cesear Side Salad. Delicious and filling, and $2.87

18. For balloon day! Soooo pretty and young and fun!

19. For late night drives with my sister. For her sense of humor, her Ipad, and for gas station coffee and the crowds of people in the gas station. For Neenee wanting to talk late into the night. For Granddaddy’s gentle guidance.

20. For bacon and eggs and coffee with Neenee and Granddaddy. For getting to hang out with Clint’s cool, quiet boss, David. For the love of Clint and Bri. For Aunt Lori’s enthusiasm. For the cheese, crackers, meatballs, and sandwiches. For punch. For squirrels, and jokes that I make that someone actually finds funny. For how much Granddaddy wants to pray WITH us when we’re there, and FOR us when we’re not there.

21. For the bagel and butter and creamer from Barbara when I run out of the condo without breakfast.

22. For time with friends last night!

23. For my friends in the blogging world, that I have never met, but that crack me up and make me feel less alone when I'm at work. And for $5 footlong chicken parmesan subs.

24. Flexible, laid back, thankful friends. Spending time with them.

25. A night at home relaxing

26. Volleyball with friends!

27. For the hospitality of the people at Temple Terrace Church of Christ and for the chili dinner, singing, and prayers

28. For being asked to be a Christmas card photographer…:)

29. For my Aunt Holly

30. For Megan Jackson @ Valrico

---

I turn 27 in one week. Regardless of how you feel about that, I feel really young.

...almost too young...

---

A lot of famous people die at the age of 27.

I'm not famous.

This is good.

---

I am, however, blessed.

And this is also good.

---

And God is SO good.

"God is so good.

God is so good.

God is so good, He's so good to me."

(and to YOU. and to your brother. and to your brother's ex-wife's cousin)

　

　

edit | delete And I am thankful that I have a niece who keeps us posted by blogging on Pleonast! :)

I have no clue about the songs. I am so generationally (it was really a word because it spell checked it) challenged.

Perhaps I could come up with some oldies that have months...

Saturday in the park, I think it was the fourth of July....

September morn...I can't remember the rest of the words...ha

Try to remember a time in September when Life was slow and oh so mellow.

I won't bore you any further! by theaunt at 12/01/11 6:11PM x no, no it's cute! Thanks for playing along! :) by leahhallnoats at 12/02/11 9:07AM x So here we are, waiting for June, and you and I are humming different tunes...

Now let's take it back to January, an overflowing heart, an empty wallet...

For mailing letters with the address of the sender; Now we can swim any day in November... by rundrummerrun at 12/02/11 11:58PM x You are so sweet, Leah. Thank you so much! I'm thankful for you too, you are always ready to listen to me whine about my problems, or gush about whatever silly thing is making me giddy. Thank you! I love you! by trefe_something at 12/03/11 9:38AM x Stephen, the only song I recognize is the last one! I feel so musically inadequate, haha. Thanks for playing! :)

Charlotte - I love you too!

　

Today, it feels especially irritating.

"Hi, I'd like to talk to Debbie."

"Okay, do you know what Debbie's last name or extension is?

"haha...uh...no, I thought I was calling the branch?"

"No, I'm so sorry, this is a call center. I'm an operator for all 50 of our branches throughout the state of Florida. Do you know which branch Debbie works in..."

"Oh, I don't know...she was helping me with this...thing on my account. But it was a special circumstance, and I actually got transferred to like 12 different departments before I got her."

"And you don't know which branch she works in?"

"No..."

"...or which city she works in?"

"No..."

"Can someone else help you?"

"No, no, no I NEED Debbie."

"Debbie didn't give you a last name, a department or extension number or a city?"

"No...I actually don't live near any Suncoasts. I live in PODUNK, Florida and the only reason I still have an account with suncoast is because blah blah blah blah and my great grandmother who passed away used suncoast and blah blah blah blah blah and I'm actually a retired school teacher and blah blah blah blah. and it's just that i've been working with Debbie and I LOVE/NEED Debbie (really, you love and need her SO MUCH that you don't know anything about her)...and blah blah blah blah, but I'm sure you know what I mean, hahahahhahaha and blah blah blah blah."

(meanwhile, 20 THOUSAND calls are backing up, and I'm trying to explain that we have about 600 Debbies for this guy to choose from...)

---

Anyway...do you like my new profile picture?

Someday, I'm going to spend a month in an RV, working on a super cool fundraising photography project for some important cause, and it's pretty much going to look exactly like the RV in my picture as I'm driving away...

I want to visit the West Coast, see the Grand Canyon, see Jimmy Eat World, see the huge, star-filled sky that Emily raved about...

---

If this world has so much to explore, what will the next world hold?

edit | delete You are so my niece. I've always wanted a road trip with an RV. Danny thinks I am crazy! by theaunt at 01/13/12 3:20PM x

I want to be a mom!

at 01/11/12 9:26AM *

The other night I dreamt I gave birth to a baby girl. She had these huge blue eyes and she was seriously the most beautiful baby I've ever seen in my life.

I was so in love with her, even though I didn't know her that well. It was exactly the kind of love that mothers describe having for their babies. I felt so sad when I woke up, because I wanted to take her out of my dreams and keep her in my arms and in my waking life for always.

--

I frequently read over old prayers, diary and journal entries, and pleonast entries. I'm constantly trying to find old patterns and old insights about myself, as I strive to put off the old man and his ways and to put on the new man.

(Tangent: I'm going to be completely honest. As a woman, the use of the word "man" in this verse really annoys me. I can't help it. My feminitity wants recognition!)

Anyway, I found this old pleo entry, and it reminded me of my dream, and one of my deepest desires. I humbly acknowledge that it may not be in God's plan for me to be a mother, but I pray that it is His will that I become one someday. If not, I look forward to as many opportunities as possible to enjoy other people's children and to be the kind of woman they can turn to and find comfort in when their mothers are going through tough times.

Here's the old entry. It makes me feel so nostalgic and happy!

:::

This pleasantly plump woman with five kids was looking to purchase a 2006 Mercury Milan.

Or a 2006 Lincoln Zephyr.

She couldn't decide.

-------------------------------------------------------

All I know is that I fell in love with her kids.

I mean, they were cute.

Not cute in that stereo-typical, tiny, quiet, little-kid-kind-of-way.

But cute in the painfully average, lost-in-a-crowd-of-siblings kind-of-way.

(forgive my un-relenting passion for dashes, please.)

--------------------------------------------------------------

The oldest boy was probably 11 and the youngest girl I'd say, 8.

and since Lincolns and Mercurys are less popular with people under 50, kids don't come into the dealership too often.

-----------------------------

So basically, I couldn't stop smiling at them.

and they loved it.

and the oldest girl got the courage to come ask me what my name was because "my little sister was wondering."

and thus began our short-lived, but precious friendship.

--------------------------------------------------------------

The oldest boy was very protective and kept watching me with the occasional smirk.

I told them how jealous I was that they got to ride all over the dealership in our golf cart. ( I was truly envious.)

They generously shared every detail of the ride.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

They used the railing for the stairs as a jungle gym, and again I felt envious of their youth and vitality. (and there was no way I could ever manuever flips and twirls within such a small railing space.)

Finally, it got "too hot" for them outside and they piled around my desk, which happens to be in the center of the showroom.

Lisa handed out five of our complimentary "kid kits" filled with stickers and coloring books and stickers.

(I adore Lisa. She is my favorite and only female car salesman.)

--------------------------------------------------------------

They kept talking to me and asking why I had to say "one moment please" to everyone that called.

I told them that I would get fired if I wasn't polite enough to explain a wait to a customer. I also told them that I wouldn't be able to live in my apartment or have gas in my car or be able to buy fun things like movie tickets or pretty shoes (the oldest girl really liked mine) if I didn't have my job.

I added that being able to buy movie tickets and pretty shoes was one of the few perks of being a boring old adult.

--------------------------------------------------------

Well four of them would run away to who-knows-where and would come back to chat occasionally, but the youngest girl stayed with me the entire time.

and I mean, RIGHT BESIDE the entire time; behind the giant desk where she helped herself to the highlighters and ballpoint pens to perfect her coloring book masterpieces.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, the oldest girl kept leaving me messages on her cheap, gray dry-erase board that came with the kid-kit.

I tried to respond with something clever each time.

She seemed to really enjoy that.

　

-----------------

Too soon, they had to go.

The youngest girl quickly threw her arms around my neck (in that way that only little girls can) and ran off after her brothers, sister, and weary mom.

--------------------------

It made my day.

I don't even know where it went.

-----------------------------------

　

edit | delete Love this post. =) by gemma at 01/11/12 1:34PM x I remember this one! :) by theaunt at 01/11/12 6:16PM x

　

we had a ton of people over last night after church

at 01/09/12 9:42AM

and a ton of people used my bathroom.

At the end of the night, after everyone had left, I had to use the bathroom myself.

and I'm wondering why no one bothered to tell me that I forgot to put a fresh hand towel or paper towels in there.

Bless their hearts, and their wet hands...

edit | delete Whew! I thought you were going to say toilet paper which would have been much worse! by theaunt at 01/09/12 11:21AM x lol! by gemma at 01/10/12 5:21PM x

one of many reasons I chose Creative Writing as my major

at 01/06/12 10:53AM

pinkpurple

we haven't had much snow around here lately

but we've had the most incredible sunsets

like melted Popsicles

in the sky.

-C. Jane Kendrick edit | delete

Isn't that how it always is?

at 01/04/12 4:12PM

I can’t stop smiling at the moment

-and yet, I woke up freezing cold and angrier than a hornet on a holiday at 5am this morning…

-hmm…moody much?

-The cold air feels amazing, though. I don’t want it to go away.

But it will go away, inevitably, like so many things and people, with this being Florida and all…

The weather is so brisk and it makes me feel new, aware, and acutely alive.

*So this is the New Year. And I don’t feel any different.*

Except I do feel different.

I feel completely different. I can’t believe what the Lord has done with my life and with everyone’s lives in this past year, and I am completely humbled, amazed, and ready for more of this crazy little thing called life.

-On a side note: How much do you love using the words "acutely" and "alive" together?

Because I love them SO much. They should be in an open relationship.

Why should they be in an "open" relationship as opposed to a good old-fashioned "closed" relationship?

Well, because you see, when words date, it’s kind of like they are investing in each other.

They have no way of knowing which stock (word) is going to give them the most for their return [phrase or sentence, if you will. (And I know you will. *20 million bonus points go to you if you can remember that Wilson Phillips song*)]

If they were to be exclusive, or, if "alive" was to put all of her money into the "acutely" account, "alive" might never know just how simultaneously amazing she also went with the word "aware" and might miss out on some invaluable… "awareness," if you will.

And how sad would that be?

Besides, it keeps "alive" fresh when she keeps her options open. Words tend to take her for granted when they think they’ve got her all to themselves…

…or maybe she’s just been taking herself for granted all this time…

- I love Nicole Mongeon Pickup. (sorry, but I can’t not use her maiden name when referring to her. Not just because of Nathan and Taylor’s sister also being named Nicole, but because "Nicole" and "Mongeon" when referring specifically to "Nicole Mongeon Pickup," the person, will always go together like cookies and cream. )

Fun fact: we’ve been friends since we were 18. It’s been like, 9 years, folks. And I still stinking adore her.

-I was pulling onto a very traffic-jammed 56th street this morning, and the cutest Santa Clause-looking man left me plenty of space to pull into the line of cars. He looked JUST like Santa; round face, beard, mustache, sweet smile. All was the same, except his facial hair was light brown. And he was driving a pickup truck, of course.

I will always have a soft spot for guys of all ages with beards, pickup trucks, plaid button up shirts, etc…

And not just because of my brown-haired Santa this morning…

-Nicole and I went to Felicidades, Felicitous? last night to catch up.

We talked for almost three hours. It was the first time I had been there without my shoulder harness buddy working by himself.

But do you know who WAS working there?

Crazy philosophical beard guy!

(He was NOT working and asking everyone in the coffee shop about God last time we were there. I invited him to come to church, and his energy closed off like the Tappan Zee Bridge in a hurricane.)

I hate when people close their energy off!

I close my energy off sometimes.

They say the qualities you most dislike in others are the qualities you most dislike in yourself.

"They" are pretty smart, aren’t they?

And yes, I’m talking about "energy" like I’m some kind of new age fruit cake.

If I find truth in something, I’m going to adopt it, okay? You should too. Even if it sounds fruity…maybe even ESPECIALLY if it sounds fruity…

And let’s be honest.

So many things SOUND fruity, but actually make sense, as much as we may not want to admit it…

Do you know who also was there?

Christian-turned-Atheist 220 IQ guy!

He was also there last time, and Crazy Philosophical Beard Guy was asking him 20,000 questions last time about why he left the faith when he knew so much, and Crazy Philosophical Beard Guy was having doubts himself and thought Christian-turned-Atheist 220 IQ guy might have some answers for him.

(Why? I don’t know. Was it the 220 IQ?)

Now, you may be wondering how it is exactly that I know that Christian-turned-Atheist 220 IQ guy has an IQ of 220.

And I will tell you why, right now.

It’s because he wouldn’t shut up about it when defending his Atheist position, of course.

Because if you have an IQ of 220 and don’t believe in God, you must know what you’re talking about.

Right.

The whole thing really made me miss evangelizing.

I definitely haven’t been doing enough of that lately.

Would I be wasting my time with guys like these?

Quite possibly.

But I can’t help myself.

It’s just too invigorating to pass up.

And there’s always that whole question of "Who knows what impact this conversation might have now and in the future?"

---

Call me crazy; call me what you will, but I’m so glad the month of December is over.

*It’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last. I can’t remember all the times I’ve tried myself to hold on, to these moments as they pass. And it’s one more day up in the canyon. And it’s one more night in Hollywood. And it’s been so long since I’ve seen the ocean. I think I should. Nah nah nah. Na na na na na na na na na. Nah nah nah. Yeah. Yeah! Yeah!*

I don’t know why, but hearing the song "Auld Lang Sine" frequently makes me feel really sad.

We were singing it over at Alan’s house and one of the girls, I can’t remember which one, but one of the girls said it made her feel sad too.

I’m glad I’m not alone in my sentimental craziness…

Still working on thank you notes, sympathy cards…

There is SO MUCH to be thankful for and so much sympathy to be extended.

Isn’t that how it always is?

I know it’s completely strange that my profile picture is not of any children that I know in person, but of Jane and Claire Nielson, whom I have never met and probably will never meet.

Someone took these pictures of them when they were letting balloons go into the sky to commemorate and remember the life of their dog of over ten years, Jimmy.

Fun fact: Christian Nielson named his dog after HIS favorite band and MINE, Jimmy Eat World.

I just love Jane and Claire’s sad expressions of wonderment. I love the color of the sky in Jane’s picture. I love Jane’s extremely nerdy glasses. I wish the lighting was better…

So often, I wish the lighting was better, you know?

Like, here on earth…

edit | delete This post, as always, is delightfully random.

It's a good thing we'll have the Lamb-light in heaven. And we won't need pictures. by rundrummerrun at 01/05/12 12:17PM x Stephen, I'm so glad you commented on my blog, because

A. I was seriously wondering if this post was too random for the public...and maybe it still is, but I'm so glad you appreciated it! :)

and

B. I thought of you last night during the bible class on Ecclesiastes. Mike Cawthon made this amazing point that was really helpful to me, and I thought would be really helpful to you as well. I can't remember exactly what it was, but it had something to do with making God-glorifying decisions, and how you really won't know the outcome a lot of the times, but as long as you have "inquired before the Lord" about it, then you will have a Romans 8:28 situation on your hands. Of course, he put it much more succinctly, so...I'll check my notes and get back to you...:) by leahhallnoats at 01/05/12 12:42PM x

I seriously don't know how this happened

at 12/21/11 4:04PM

But I have

"I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

Only a hippopotamus will do"

stuck in my head.

Like so bad.

　

　

　

　

　

edit | delete And now so do I. :P by curlie at 12/21/11 4:18PM x I only like hippopotamususses. by rundrummerrun at 12/21/11 4:51PM x hehe :) by mrsfionacharming at 12/22/11 12:21AM x Thankfully, I don't know the tune to that one! :) by praguer at 01/03/12 1:39PM x

Yesterday, Reese Hailey threw his arms around me and said "Well, there you are!" Then, he told me that he missed me and that he missed how I always used to smell like coconut.

It was so, SO cute. edit | delete :) by rundrummerrun at 02/01/12 8:09AM x Hey, I'm driving to Tampa tomorrow--I'll get to see you and a smorgasbord of other amazing people, like, TOMORROW. Very yes! by rundrummerrun at 02/01/12 8:10AM x

Lately

at 01/24/12 4:30PM

I'm very much working on applying Matthew 7:1-5 to my life.

God, why is it so hard? edit | delete

- I lost my temper with some Mormons after they tried to tell me that they didn’t worship Joseph Smith, after talking with them for well over an hour. I may or may not have whipped out my notebook where I had jotted down the lyrics to an extremely offensive hymn that caused Megan and me to walk out on them about six months ago. Would you like to read those lyrics?

"Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah. Kings will extol him…great is his glory and endless his priesthood…faithful and true he will enter his kingdom…"

I just kind of screamed a teeny bit: "Guys, this is SO WRONG!" Hey. They called me…

- I was diagnosed with anemia and low hemoglobin levels and was prescribed to take iron supplements three times a day

- Hemoglobin is an incredibly fun word to say.

- "I’ll hemo your globin…"

- Ahem.

- I passed my Professional Education Exam

- My Uncle Danny, Aunt Sara, and Cousin Tim were in town and proceeded to treat me to Pie Night at the Village Inn with Cousin Robert and some others.

- Pie Night may or may not be the greatest invention ever. Free pie with any purchase and all the cool people that come out for it? Yes please.

- Pie Night makes me miss Drinks and Doozies with Charity, Emily, and Allison.

- A guy I have/had a crush on got into a Facebook official relationship on the same night he spent a good part of a night with me and saw some less-than-desirable qualities in me, which most people haven’t had the privilege to see. I can’t help but feel a little weird about this…

- Don’t worry. He wasn’t and isn’t the only guy I currently have a crush on…

- God, help me if I ever fall in love with a man who hasn’t asked me for a commitment again…

- Today is "Sorry Charlie Day" – A day to reflect on past rejections and know that it happens to all of us…

- Ironic.

- I did some serious bible study and was seriously humbled and had my mind and heart changed as a result.

- This particular time of study made me miss Justin Inversso, because we had talked a lot about the things that were already starting to change in my mind and heart and were changing in Justin’s mind and heart as well. I love connecting with someone on something you feel alone about, and I definitely connected with Justin on this issue. I still really miss him…

- I realized I can’t wait to start teaching. My exam, though slightly stressful @ 120 questions in 120 minutes, made me feel really excited about being able to work with kids, use my creativity, and be challenged on a daily basis.

- Nathan Pickup comes to school early to study the Bible with one of his students who absolutely loves it, and I can’t help but hope for a similar situation. I pretty much think this is the coolest thing ever…

- Life is good. It ebbs and flows. It surprises you. It humbles you. It breaks your heart. And through it all, the only thing about it that has ever and will ever make sense about it is that God is the King of it. He loves the people living the life that He breathed into them. He routes for us. Jesus prays for us. His Holy Spirit grieves with us. His angels rejoice with us.

- This, more than anything else, is the definition of comforting…

edit | delete I got my first JW doorknockers the other day. I hope they call me to get a study. I told them I'm a Bible teacher at Gettysburg coC, so I think they might not. Oops.

Do you have a teaching job lined up yet? by rundrummerrun at 04/06/12 11:34AM x Pie days are awesome, especially when a niece comes along! Never deny the wonder of free pie. Never! So glad we got to see you. Having kids down at fc has its perks! by theaunt at 04/08/12 4:25PM x Stephen - Priscilla and Stephanie have been studying with some JWs! Priscilla shared some difficult questions that they brought up with me. I have to admit, I was stumped by some of them. I've been feeling very humbled by 1 Peter 3:15 lately...good luck to you!

as far as the teaching job...not yet. Need to get on that like butter on toast...

　

Sara - Glad I got to see you all too! It was truly wonderful!

by leahhallnoats at 04/09/12 8:45AM x Congrats on the exam and good luck with getting a job. I would say pie night is good, but I'm trying to reduce/cut out sugar from my diet. :) BTW, am I even on your friend list over there? I'm starting to feel a little hurt. :( by praguer at 04/16/12 4:25PM x Aimee - Thank you so much! I miss you guys so much you don't even know...

Tami - Thank you! and good for you on the sugar!! and I'm sorry!! I promise I didn't mean to leave you out. I made my list forever ago and can't even remember how I decided to narrow it down. (I'm noticing I have no guys on my list...hmm...)

Consider yourself added! by leahhallnoats at 04/17/12 9:15AM x Thank you. :) by praguer at 04/19/12 11:18AM x

Good/ bad literature, 90’s music, and studying…

at 03/27/12 10:12AM *

- I want to study the Nicene creed(s) a whole lot more

- I want to finish The Pilgrim’s Progress

- Rebecca is my favorite sister EVER.

- I want to finish Dad’s book! (so exciting/cool that he wrote a book!) about Foy Short

- On a side note: Dad’s book design cover makes me miss Kirby Davis and want to hang out with her. She is so cool. She is from Mississippi. We laugh together. A lot.

- The Hunger Games. Oh my word. Talk about getting sucked into mediocre Teenie Bopper Literature. It is so good, in that decadent-junkfood-kind-of-way. Think Hershey’s Sundae Pie. And while you’re at it, think, anything that involves those seedy little questions of morality and mortality and forgiveness? Yes please. Intellectually and emotionally torture me, baby. When Katniss asks for the forgiveness of the Avox girl? Just slay me now. I totally cried…

- When I’m reading the Hunger Games, the song "Disarm" by the Smashing Pumpkins keeps popping into my head. That song is SO 90’s and SO good. I love 90’s music…

- "Disarm you with a smile." I love that line. Totally have disarmed and been disarmed by smiles. Such a great concept…

- I’m studying with Mormons again. Because, um, they CALLED me after zero contact for like 6 months or something. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Completely invigorating, forces me to study my Bible like there’s no tomorrow. Filled with gratitude!

- I really need to study for my Professional Education Exam…

- There’s so much to study…

- Do I like studying?

- Sometimes…

- Other times, not so much…

- Feast or famine, you know?

- Who came up with that expression anyway?

- I miss USF…

- Pandora is making me cry in that really good way right about now…

- …not really. It’s just playing really good songs. ^I may or may not have exaggerated slightly...

- I use the word "really" and the expression "really good" entirely too much…

- …

- …I love ellipses…

- …and dashes…

- "How’s it Going to Be?" by Third Eye Blind is currently playing on Pandora

- It is SO apropos.

- I am completely obsessed with the word apropos…

- …

- Fun fact, as the cool, now-married, girl formerly known as Katie Kelley would say, I totally edited this post, hours after its original composition, to say "Other times, not so much" instead of "Other times, definitely not." It was bothering me...

- ....

- ... edit | delete I read "Little Pilgrim's Progress" with Jack and we both LOVED it! It was a huge encouragement even for me! I hope to read the real thing someday. I want to read your Dad's book too! And the Hunger Games was an obsession of mine for a while. Waiting until it comes out on DVD to Netflix it. It's hard to wait!

Hope your studying goes well! by heatheronthehill at 03/27/12 3:06PM x After you finish Pilgrim's Progress, you might also enjoy Hind's Feet on High Places. Similar but different (how's that for profound?). And if you miss Kirby Davis -- come to Atlanta because she's here now and just placed membership at Embry Hills! And yes, your dad's book IS exciting and I can't imagine how he found the time to do all the research but I'm so glad he did! by themother at 03/30/12 10:39PM x

work emails are the best

at 03/21/12 10:41AM

especially with titles like:

"you may smell faint smoke, no worries"

sent to the entire building... edit | delete School emails are fun too, especially when they are sent by a member of the faculty. =) Like the one we got before spring break about the black snake in Dr. Petty's house *WINK*. Everyone was supposed to email Dr. Petty and make an offer to catch the snake for him for a small sum or just a good meal. And those who didn't want to make an offer were just supposed to ask if he had gotten his snake problem taken care of yet. =) And of course the last part of the email was Ralph Walker telling us not to tell Dr. Petty that he was the one who sent out the email. So wonderful! by gemma at 03/21/12 11:04PM x I remember FC emails! They were so...simultaneously fun/annoying. by leahhallnoats at 03/22/12 12:39PM x On the other hand, if you smell smoke that isn't faint -- WORRY! by themother at 03/22/12 4:57PM x Good one. :)

How is the "cutting back" going? And have you managed to cut out sugar? I had almost done it before I left for the States. Something about being at Mom and Dad's house ruined that. :( Soooo, I'm back to starting over. Getting ready to deal with cravings, etc. Yuck. by praguer at 03/26/12 1:43PM x I've cut back a lot, but eliminating it might just kill me, though I'm not quite sure...:) by leahhallnoats at 03/27/12 9:49AM x

breaking the silence

at 02/29/12 9:42AM *

While I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a morning person

(cutting back on caffeine and the monotony of routines can KILL the sanctity of mornings, let me just tell you...)

I still can't help but LOVE mornings, in spite of the demands that so many of them bring.

I love it when I wake up, refreshed no less, earlier than anticipated, with extra time...extra prayer time, extra reading time, extra walking time, extra reflecting time, extra dream-remembrance-time, and extra go-to-chick-fil-a-and-pick-up-your-free-chicken-minis-four-pack-for-leap-year-time (do it! you have until 10:30 AM!)

I just LOVE that extra early morning time that feels so personal and sacred because it feels like the only other Person you're sharing it with is God.

I love watching the sun bleed into the darkness with light and color from the safety of my cozy car.

I love seeing people I don't know at all...in this completely vulnerable state of early morning dreaminess.

You get to catch a glimpse of them in a way that even people who know them really well don't necessarily get to see...

---

I've always kind of felt like a victim of paranoia.

Maybe it's because I feel like I'm more open and honest than most people.

(Honestly, I do try to be more open and honest than most people. But that's not to say that it hasn't gotten me into some...trouble, should I say? The land of T.M.I. is a broad one, and I've set up tent there one too many times...)

Sometimes, I feel nostalgic for the days before facebook and twitter and smart phones and ipads and blogging and even pleonast at times.

People actually had to make a real effort to track you down and figure-you-out back in the day.

I could take off in my 1992 Oldsmobile Acheiva with my for-emergency-use-only GIGANTIC cell phone and not be able to be reached by anyone not in the car with me.

I felt so liberated and dangerous and mysterious to others back in those days...

More recently, I have loved my hiatus from facebook.

It felt like getting my mystery back...

---

That being said, as Christians, I feel like we are TOO mysterious to one another.

Lately, it's been one of the biggest criticisms I've heard about "THE CHURCH."

(Please note: I'm really starting to LOATHE the mere expression of "THE CHURCH" simply because ONLY GOD KNOWS who HIS CHURCH is...did you catch that? ONLY GOD! Yes, we can know them "by their fruits..." but some of the fruit I've seen in my own life as a "church member" has been ROTTEN and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in my rottiness...)

The conversations and people that have helped me the most haven't necessarily been the ones with people who I deeply respect in "the spiritual spotlight," if you will.

The conversations and people that have me the most have the been the ones with people who I deeply respect who have been HONEST with me, and even to an embarassing extent...

It's especially encouraging when people in "the spiritual spotlight" open up to me about their struggles.

I've come to realize that those in "the spiritual spotlight" often have HUGE struggles that no one knows about simply because they would risk their precious reputation in "the spiritual spotlight" if they were to make these struggles known. I've definitely held back from others in order to maintain my precious "spiritual reputation." and SHAME ON ME. Who knows how many people I could've encouraged if I had simply let my guard down, humbled myself, and let someone without my "spiritual reputation" know that I struggle with many of the same things that they do...

One of the main reasons I love good writing is the sheer vulnerability of it. Honest writing is impossible to hide behind. And, if you ask me, honest writing is the BEST writing.

How many times have you been reading something, and felt the prickle of goosebumps as you realized "Wow. Someone out there knows and understands..."

Empathy is a huge part of Christianity.

Our Lord became human to be able to empathize with us.

To be able to empathize, we must be able to open ourselves, so that others can empathize with us.

It is in this glorious empathy that we are able to find the glorious unity talked about in John 17.

---

Morning, dawn.

They break.

May this morning find you broken

and ready to be filled with His light.

edit | delete Good thoughts here, Leah! And I enjoyed the music! One song I have always loved is "Morning Has Broken" which is ironic, since I am NOT a morning person! by themother at 02/29/12 1:41PM x ...set up a tent in the land of T.M.I .... hahaha that is totally me. My brother calls me a "habitual line crosser." I am all on board for honesty too. I always say that life would be a lot easier for me if more people were like me! I'll be honest with you. Do you have any questions for me??

by krazykrizn at 02/29/12 4:30PM x I guy I volunteer with at drumline rehearsal asked me my honest opinion on him last night, how he was doing with running rehearsals, etc. I realized afterwards how much that broke down some of the barriers between us (I forgot how many barriers there are between me and people 'in the world'). We think privacy makes us safer, more liked and respected, when the opposite is true. by rundrummerrun at 02/29/12 4:41PM x I just love you and your heart. :) by heatheronthehill at 02/29/12 4:48PM x Aunt Cherry - I'm glad you like the song! :) Also, I miss you.

Kristen - I'm gonna have to think of something really embarassing to ask you, but I'll get back to ya! ;) also, thank you so much for stopping to say "hey" to me at lectures! It meant a lot to me. It was great to see you, Will, and Baby Rylann!

Stephen - That's awesome. Really proud of you. :) You'll be in my prayers that you continue to be in the world and not of the world. So hard for me, sometimes! Also, love your thoughts on privacy...mucho.

Heather - I love you too! You encourage me a lot. I'm sad I won't be seeing your lovely smile when I visit NJ. :(

by leahhallnoats at 03/02/12 10:41AM x Love these deeply felt random thoughts which kind of mesh together a bit when finished. Very proud of you and your openness that comes from your complete trust in God and his mercy. I need more of it. Often brethren aren't as merciful as they ought to be, but that doesn't need to stop us from opening up a bit more (within reason!) about our vulnerabilities. by gsh2 at 03/02/12 10:45PM x "Love these deeply felt random thoughts which kind of mesh together a bit when finished." Dad, that sentence absolutely cracked me up! Thanks for appreciating my disorganized writing. I like to think of writing as more of an artwork and as less of an organized discourse... by leahhallnoats at 03/06/12 9:05AM x Leah, you and your dad both have a gift for evoking thoughts and feelings with your writing. Honestly! :) by themother at 03/10/12 3:34PM x I absolutely love Dad's writing! I wish my Spanish was better so I could appreciate even more of it... by leahhallnoats at 03/12/12 2:46AM x Hey Dad, I don't know if you remember or not, but I absolutely loved your sermon on the varying spiritual concerns depending on the generation of an individual. I don't know if you could convert it into some kind of article, but I think it would be kind of awesome...

but only if you feel like it...

:) by leahhallnoats at 03/14/12 12:31PM x

cut backs

at 02/15/12 2:33PM

I cut back on Facebook, temporarily deleting my account.

I cut back on caffeine, only drink decaf and green tea now.

and...

I'm thinking about cutting back and maybe even eventually cutting out... sugar.

I consume way too much. Like, you have no idea...

When I cut back on caffeine, it was like, whoa baby, hello, natural energy!

I've heard, and I am hoping, that the same will happen with sugar.

It feels good to cut back, you know?

Idolatry be gone! edit | delete